


My Kryptonite

by betheyyrose



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Bokuakakurotsuki being in the same team because why not, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, KageHina - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Memories, Minor Injuries, idk if this will hurt but i gueeesss, iwaoi - Freeform, this will get really confusing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2018-07-12 20:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7122214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheyyrose/pseuds/betheyyrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Kozume Kenma is a scholar in a university that the resident playboy and rich kid, Kuroo Tetsurou, practically owns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pushy

**Author's Note:**

> This can also be called a fruit of my procrastination from my BokuAka fic and a self-indulgent work full of my favorite headcanons. im almost halfway finished with the entire thing but my updates are still timed :D  
> And for the song link pls just skip to the :35th second of the video because damn Fall Out Boy is pretty in on it with the music video plot :D

Kenma was smart for his age. He hated to admit it but almost everyone he knew mentioned that about him despite trying so hard to hide such a fact.

 

But becoming a scholar in Nekoma-Fukurodani University- a well-known school with students that are too rich for their own good, will probably make his intelligence stand out. 

 

He wasn't as rich as the students he knew that went to that university and his parents were people that could never afford to send him to a famous university with just financial status to rely on. Sure, they could send him to a community college but a school like Nekoma? No.

 

The entrance exam for the university was easy for him. He'd passed it with a perfect score earning him a rare place as a scholar.

 

At first, he was reluctant about going to a place with too many unfamiliar people, unfamiliar grounds and unfamiliar lifestyle. But as he thought about it, he realized how much his parents would appreciate if he achieved a high place in life.

 

That's why when he strolled into the huge campus of the prestigious Nekoma-Fukurodani University, he tried his best to hide under the hood of his jacket. And that lead to the growing anxiety he felt.

 

Kenma always hated large crowds and everything that had to do with unfamiliarity.  


He received weird stares as he passed by and he wondered what was wrong with what he wore. 

  
The red hoodie didn't really stand out and so did his black skinny jeans. His shoes were just really worn out chucks. 

  
He ran his eyes through the people standing by the parking lot with their cars and saw how the huddled girls wearing mini skirts and spaghetti strapped blouses snickered at him.

  
Thankfully, some of the boys ignored him as he passed by but he couldn't help but notice their glances.

 

Kenma sighed and thought that maybe this people could sense other people who were out of their social status.

 

He was almost halfway through the lot when he heard someone shout behind, "Out of the way!"

 

He turned around but it was too late, he landed his butt on the hard concrete as a huge person ran into him. "Ow." He winced as he tried to stand up. 

 

He was pretty sure the entire lot went quiet.

 

Kenma looked to the side to find the culprit with his back facing him and also on his bum, groaning dramatically, "Shit." He saw a black hover board abandoned a few feet away.

 

The man stood up and looked at him and Kenma swore he'd never seen anyone's hair look that messy. The man was pretty tall and Kenma's height probably reached just under his mouth. 

 

Kenma studied the man for a second, and just for a second Kenma's head throbbed a bit, pain shooting through his temples making him clutch at one side of his head. Damn it.

 

The man in front of him was attractive, very attractive.

 

His messy raven hair covered half of his face and it was a beautiful contrast to his pale skin. He had half-lidded eyes that were golden and held a look that said he knew all your secrets and wouldn’t mind telling on you.

 

He was some sort of Roman god. Okay maybe he was exaggerating a bit but you get the picture.

 

A voice inside Kenma’s head reminded him that no matter how attractive he may look, he knew what type of person he was just by the confident aura he gave off.

 

"Hey? You okay there?" The man held a hand out to him which he took after wincing a bit at the pain on his spine.

 

The pain from his head subsided. He nodded and brushed his pants. 

 

The man frowned, "Are you sure you're okay?"

 

"Yeah." Kenma said quietly as he looked at him. The tall man rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah sorry about that. My hover board malfunctioned."

 

"It's fine." Kenma said quietly and started to turn away. He hated it when unfamiliar people, even if they were attractive, tried to strike up conversations. It made him uncomfortable.

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder that forcefully tried to turn him. He flinched at that and the hand quickly disappeared as he turned around. 

 

"Woah, woah. Sorry." The man gave him a smug smile, "You new here?"

 

"I don't think that's any of your business." Kenma said lowly. He didn’t want anything to do with a guy who looks and probably is a fuckboy. "Now if you'd excuse me, I'd like to get to class."

 

He turned around before he could reply and power walked the hell away from the guy, ignoring the whispers from around him that were mostly from the girls,

 

"Oh my god."

 

"Did he just walk away from Kuroo?" Kuroo? It was probably the guy's name. Fits him.

 

"What an asshole."

 

Kenma didn't understand why it was such a big deal. Was this Kuroo guy some kind of god in these parts? Well aside from his looks- wait what.

 

He snorted as he made his way to his first class. 

 

Kenma was an English major just because it was probably the easiest one for him and it was probably the only route he could take that will help him finish college without hassle just like he planned.

 

The first class which was Historical Literature was pretty much normal with the orientation and stuff which he hated. 

 

When it was his turn to speak, he stood up and mumbled, "Kozume Kenma."

 

He sat back down after that, knowing he was receiving weird glances from everyone else in the room. "Hey, wasn't he the one who bumped into Kuroo-" They kept talking about him. What the hell was so important about that guy?

 

He hated it, it was like a growing cloud over his entire being and he tried his best to stop it from bothering him.

 

As the class started, he couldn't help but notice how few of the people actually listened to the professor. Maybe it was because these people knew they already have perfect futures.

 

As the first class ended, he walked out of the classroom feeling dull. At least nobody approached him or tried to strike up any conversation.

 

The second class was pretty much the same with the first. He'll never know if he'll ever get used to the fact that nobody else listened to the professor except him. 

 

And then the dreaded lunch break arrived. He'd always hated those lunch breaks ever since middle school because he knew full well that lunches are held in cafeterias and cafeterias held people. And people were not Kenma's thing.

 

He took a deep breath before entering the huge cafeteria of the university. He almost gawked when he saw different outlets of famous food joints inside the place. McDonalds, Starbucks, Burger King, hell, even Chipotle.

 

He scanned the place and saw that it had enough room that it didn't look crowded at all. In the corner of his eyes he spotted a familiar head and saw that it  was the hover board guy.

 

He sat with several people, one with spiked grey and white hair who kept poking at a bored brunettes side and a blonde guy with glasses with his eyes closed, listening to music from his headphones.

 

Kuroo had an arm wrapped around a blonde girl's shoulder as he whispered to her ear making the said girl giggle.

 

He almost rolled his eyes. Knew it.

 

He went over to the outlet with the least lines which was McDonalds and ordered burger and fries because they weren't that much of a hassle. He figured that if he ate really fast then he wouldn't have to talk to people except the cashier.

 

He ordered and as he was looking for a table, someone bumped into him making him lurch forward. 

 

Thankfully, he didn't drop his food. He turned to look at the person and saw that it was a girl wearing those really short shorts and a top that looked suspiciously like lingerie. 

 

"Oops, sorry." She said in an annoying voice. Kenma frowned before turning around. He felt a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, I'm talking to you!" The girl screeched.

 

He gave her a blank look as he turned around. The girl sneered at him, "Who do you think you are huh? Bumping into Kuroo like that and not saying sorry?"

 

"I didn't bump into him, he bumped into me." He said lowly. The girl seemed offended, "Oh my god! You're like, super annoying!" And before he knew it, his glass of coke got dumped into his head. 

 

The entire cafeteria turned to look at him including Kuroo who just frowned as the girl laughed in delight. "That's what you get!" 

 

Kenma remained stoic despite the burning in his throat. He wanted to cry. Why did he receive all this bullshit just because he bumped into- wait- he wasn't even the one who bumped into guy!

 

Kuroo, the source of all this bullshit just sat on the table and resumed talking to the people sitting there.

 

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" A voice came from behind him. The girl whimpered, "Lev! I was just trying to teach him a lesson-"

 

"Bullshit." The voice came and it was closer to him now. "You can't just go dumping soda on people."

 

The girl retorted, "But he bumped into Kur-"

 

"Kuroo bumped into him." A hand went to Kenma's shoulder making him turn around. He now faced a beanpole of a man. He had silver hair and yellow-green eyes. "Hey, you alright there?"

 

Kenma nodded silently. 

 

"I'm Haiba Lev!" 

 

"Kenma"

 

They started walking and the bean- Lev- smiled at him as he walked beside him and said, "Hey, you should get changed or something. I got some clothes in my locker."

 

"But they won't fit." Kenma mumbled placing his food on a table before he resumed walking. He spared a glance at Kuroo who glared directly at Lev. What.

 

Lev bent down, "I'm sorry, what?" Kenma almost wanted to punch him in the gut. The action made their height difference stand out more.

 

"I said, they won't fit." He said loudly as they walked out of the doors. Lev nodded and sized him up, "No biggie. My boyfriend is probably your size and he's pretty shor-" Boyfriend?

 

"What the hell did you just say, Haiba?" A short man with light brown hair stood in front of them as they rounded the corner. Lev squeaked, "Yaku!"

 

"Did I just hear you dissing my height." For a pretty short man, he sure was intimidating even the beanpole was scared.

 

"No! Not at all, babe!" Lev held up his hands. Yaku squinted his eyes before turning to look at Kenma, "Hey, you're soaked! Come with me I'll give you a shirt and you can wash your hair."

 

Kenma merely nodded and followed the couple to the locker rooms. As Yaku rifled through his locker, Kenma ducked under the sink to wash his hair. 

 

As he finished, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was getting longer and hit the base of his neck. They were almost all black now with just a couple inches of bleached hair.

 

Should I bleach it again? He thought.

 

"Hey..Kenma, right? I'm Yaku Morisuke" Yaku said from standing behind him with Lev making him turn. He held a black t-shirt with a small print of 'Nekoma' on the left chest. "This should fit."

 

Kenma nodded and took the shirt. He went inside a stall and change. He got out and saw Yaku and Lev standing by the door, "Thank you for this, Yaku. And bean- I mean- Lev, thanks for earlier."

 

"Nah. It's fine." Lev said and Yaku nodded at him before speaking, "I saw what happened earlier. That girl's crazy for Kuroo." Yaku made circles by his ear "Well, almost all girls are but she's the craziest."

 

Kenma nodded before fiddling with the hem of his shirt, "Can I ask you guys something?"

 

"Yeah, shoot."

 

"Why is Kuroo treated like some sort of god here?" He asked nonchalantly. Yaku and Lev exchanged looks before bursting into laughter.

 

Yaku wiped at his eyes, "Damn, that was funny. But to answer your question, it's kind of hard to explain.His pretty famous for a sophomore though."

 

Lev nodded at that and folded his arms over his chest, "You'll see it for yourself in a week or so."

 

"Alright." He said. Yaku looked at his watch and snapped his fingers, "Hey, I think you'll see one of the reasons today!"

 

Kenma looked at him weirdly, "What is it?"

 

"You'll see." Lev said walking towards the door, "Let's head over to the hall, they're probably starting by now."

 

Kenma, not really knowing what in the world was happening just followed the two of them to the hall. It was huge and all but what really caught his attention was the amount of people present. 

 

Didn't they have classes? He thought.

 

Lev and Yaku lead him towards one of the bleachers that were closest to the stage that was filled with band equipment. They sat and waited before a person walked out from the back and the entire hall erupted.

 

Kuroo stood on the stage with his smug look and messy hair. He took the microphone from the stand and said, "Hello."

 

The girls on the bleachers were overreacting, seriously. They screamed and all that shit. Kenma frowned as Kuroo scanned the audience, "What's up?"

 

Is he a celebrity? I don't remember seeing him on TV. 

 

The other members of the band came up on stage. The grey and white spiked hair guy, the tall blonde and the really chill looking brunette who Kenma saw sat with him earlier.

 

The hall was probably about to collapse at that point.

 

"Alright, alright guys chill." Kuroo said to the microphone holding his hand up, "As you know we're gonna perform for the new students today and I hope you guys enjoy it."

 

The spike-haired guy went over to the drum set. The chill looking dude picked an electric guitar and the blonde went went for a bass guitar.

 

The room went quiet and the spike-haired guy started drumming a [beat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6MOKXm8x50) and the blonde dude started plucking on his guitar. It was a familiar tune,

 

 _"She says she's no good with words but I'm worse."_  Kuroo's voice rang in the hall and then the cheers picked back up. Kenma hated to admit it but his husky and deep voice sort of sent goosebumps on his skin and his heart beat faster. Ah crap.

  


" _Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue_ " Kuroo winked at the audience as he scanned the hall and continued, closing his eyes and leaning into the mic, " _Weighed down with words too over-dramatic_ ". 

  


Kuroo looked mesmerizing when he sang. Kenma’s fist clenched at the comment he just made.

 __  
  


_"Tonight it's "It can't get much worse"_

_Vs. "No one should ever feel like..."_

  


The spike-haired guy who's muscled showed in his muscle tee then started hitting the drums frantically and so did the chill dude, hands flying over the guitar.

  


_"I'm two quarters and a heart down_  
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds  
These words are all I have so I'll write them  
So you need them just to get by"

 __  
  


The chill dude, whom Kenma learned was Akaashi or Kakashi from listening to the wails as he tore out some notes out of his guitar gave a small smile to the audience. Kuroo shot finger guns at the audience and sang,  
  
_"Dance, dance_  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, dance  
And these are the lives you love to lead  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how misery loved me"

 __  
  


Kuroo leaned back banged his head to the beat before taking out the mic and stepping forward.  
  
_"You always fold just before you're found out_  
Drink up its last call,  
Last resort  
But only the first mistake and I..."

 __  
I'm two quarters and a heart down  
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds  
These words are all I have so I'll write them  
So you need them just to get by  
  
"Why don't you show me a little bit of spine  
You've been saving for his mattress, love" Kuroo brought a hand to his chest and the chill looking dude started singing backup. Their voices melded together like it was something out of an opera. Well, maybe Kenma was exaggerating a bit.

 __  
"Dance, dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, dance  
And these are the lives you love to lead  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how misery loved me"

 __  
  


The instruments melded together and it rivaled the original band's impressive synchronization and that was something _._  
  
_"Why don't you show me a little bit of spine_  
You've been saving for his mattress (mattress, mattress)  
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me" Kuroo sang like he really wanted you to fall into bed with him and Kenma swore he saw a panty flying out of nowhere towards the stage.

  


The chill looking dude got to another guitar riff part and it was awesome, Kenma had to admit. His hands flying over the neck of the guitar like all the chords were nothing.  
  
At the last chorus, Kenma swore that he saw Kuroo look straight at him with the smuggest smile he'd seen on his face and winked, the other girls behind him shouted no doubt thinking they were the ones he winked at. Maybe they were. Kenma what the heck.

 

Kenma’s heart was beating so fast he had to clutch the hem of his shirt to try and calm himself.

 __  
  


_"Dance, dance_  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, dance  
And these are the lives you love to lead"  
  
_"Dance, this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)_  
Dance, this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how misery loved me" As Kuroo droned out the last lines of the song the room went quiet. The spike haired man stood up and hooted while the blonde and brunette removed their guitars nonchalantly.

  


Kuroo was panting as he lifted the mic again to his mouth, "Damn, that was intense."

 

The audience cheered while Kenma, Lev and Yaku remained nonchalant and just stared at the stage.

 

Kuroo smiled at the audience, "Anyways, I know it's the first day of school and I haven't introduced myself and the others. To the freshmen, I'm sorry for that." He waved over to his bandmates beckoning them to walk closer.

 

Kuroo turned back, "I'm Kuroo Tetsurou. Vocals extraordinaire." So, Kuroo Tetsurou, huh? The audience went wild, 

 

"KUROOOO!" "I LOVE YOU!" Some of the girls cried and wailed. What the heck.

 

"Kuroo! KUROO! TAKE ME KUROO!" A girl screamed and Kenma saw that it was the girl who poured coke over him. Kuroo didn't react at that, if anything, he frowned and averted his eyes.

 

The tall blonde guy stepped forward and simply said, "Tsukishima Kei."

 

"Tsukki! Smile for us hottie!" Tsukishima didn't even bother as he turned away and went backstage.

 

Then Bokuto went over and took the mic, "Hey, hey, hey! I'm Bokuto Koutarou, drummer and resident muscle man." He made a show of flexing his muscles.

 

"Bokuto, we love you!" The crowd screamed in unison. 

 

"CAN I TOUCH YOUR BICEPS, BABE?!" A girl closer to the stage screamed and Kenma caught the huge sigh the chill dude, Akaashi let out. He stepped forward but before he spoke the crowd already chanted, "AKAASHI! AKAASHI!" "Marry me!" "YOU CAN HAVE MY BABIES!" 

 

So these people were into the tall, dark and handsome stereotype? 

 

"Akaashi Keiji. Lead guitarist." He said before he got assaulted by Bokuto's huge arm throwing over his shoulders and saying something lively to him.

 

The crowd was still at it with Akaashi, "You can lead me to bed Akaashi!" "Play me like a guitar!"

 

Doesn't this school have guidance counseling or something? These girls are crazy.

 

Kenma felt someone poke his arm and he turned to Yaku who grinned, "See?"

 

He frowned, "So he's the lead vocalist? That's it?"

 

Lev's eyes widened and so did Yaku's, "You're still unimpressed?" Kenma was sort of impressed but he didn’t want it to be known at all.

 

Kenma shrugged, "Well, yeah. Aren't there like, lots of singers in the world?"

 

Yaku suddenly looked at him seriously and placed a hand on his shoulder which Kenma tried hard not to flinch away from. He said with so much seriousness, "I think I like you."

 

"Me too!" Lev agreed but he frowned, "But Kuroo has much more stuff going on and I doubt you'd go unimpressed after seeing all that."

 

Kenma shrugged, "I just don't see what the big deal is." He stood up and gave Lev and Yaku a small lift of his lips, "Anyways, thank you both for this. I need to head back to class."

 

"Class, why?"

 

"Because I need to keep up my grades. I'm just a scholar after all." Kenma mumbled. Lev and Yaku's eyes widened, "Woah, seriously? You must be pretty smart!" 

 

"Yeah, I heard the exams were licensure level or something."

 

Kenma almost breathed a sigh of relief that they didn't mention him being poor because he was a scholar or something. Kenma nodded and said, "Not really. But I have to go. Thank you."

 

He turned away and walked the distance towards the outside of the hall. He'd managed to memorize the map of the first and second floors of the buildings so he didn't really worry about getting lost.

 

As he went outside and turned, a door suddenly opened from his left side. As he turned he saw Bokuto, Akaashi, Tsukishima and Kuroo coming out of it. So they had some sort of special exit?

 

Kenma hurriedly walked past them hoping they didn't notice him. He ducked his head and tightened the hand on the straps of his bag.

 

He almost- almost turned the corner before, "Hey, you! Ombré!" Ombré? Kenma hesitated before turning around and he saw Kuroo walking towards him. 

 

He looked past his shoulder and notice that the other three were already bounding towards the other direction.

 

A movement from Kuroo crossed his vision making him focus on him. He saw that the guy was snapping his fingers over his face, "Hey. Look at me! You should enjoy the view!"

 

Kenma frowned, "What view?"

 

Kuroo grinned and gestured at his face, "Why this of course." Kenma just frowned deeply at that. Kuroo was flirting that was for sure, "I don't see it."

 

The guy let out raucous laughter, "Damn. I'm Kuroo Tetsurou, by the way." 

 

"I know." Kenma said blankly. Kuroo's grin widened, "Ohoho? Were you researching about me or something."

 

This guy's an idiot.

 

"You introduced yourself on stage and you have an ID hanging from your pocket." Kenma seethed, pointing at the guy's pocket, "Not everyone's that interested in you."

 

Kuroo feigned shock and placed a hand over his heart, "You wound me."

 

Kenma deadpanned, "Excellent. Now if you'd excuse me.." He turned around but Kuroo stepped around him, "Wait, wait! I'm sorry for earlier."

 

He gave the taller man a blank look, "You already said that."

 

"But I feel really bad for it. You see, I know I bumped into your smaller figure-" Kenma's eyebrow twitched. To hell with this guy. He promptly walked past him and all his bullshit.

 

He might be handsome and all but as of the moment, everything about Kuroo pissed him off. His hair, that smug smile and his overall confidence. 

 

"At least tell me your name!" He heard the guy call out. Kenma hesitated before saying without looking at him, loud enough to hear, "Kenma."

 

He hurriedly turned the corner and breathed a sigh of relief. He hated talking to unfamiliar people, especially the pushy  ones. And Kuroo Tetsurou was the definition of pushy.

 


	2. Reasons

A week passed and Kenma avoided Kuroo to the best of his abilities. He might have passed by him once or twice by the hallway, his arm always wrapped around a different girl every time he saw him. Kenma would always duck down behind his hoodie trying not to be noticed and talked to.

 

And the entire week, Kenma hung out with Lev and Yaku along with a few people who were kind enough to befriend him. A mohawk guy named Taketora and a bowl cut dude named Shibiyama. 

 

Kenma was really thankful for their uniqueness because every time he'd go to class, he'd spot the beanpole or Yaku or the ridiculous mohawk and the bowl cut.

 

But the thing was, something weird happened the Tuesday after class started. He was in the library with Lev and Yaku doing some useless research for no reason and then he heard the whispers,

 

"Hey? Did you hear? Yukie might be expelled."

 

Kenma turned to Lev and Yaku who were playing minecraft. Yaku replied without lifting his eyes off the phone, "The girl who dumped coke on you."

 

Kenma frowned. She was gonna get expelled? Did she do something worse than dump coke on me?

 

"I know right? Yukie's a bitch tbh. But why will she be expelled again?"

 

"I don't know but some freshmen heard that Kuroo got so pissed for some reason and he rambled to his bandmates about it."

 

"Woah really?"

 

"Yeah and I saw her running from the band room crying earlier. Maybe Kuroo gave her a piece of his mind. I don't know why he was so pissed though."

 

"Is it because she dumped coke on him-?" Kenma knew that the girls were pointing at him and it made him uncomfortable. 

 

He stood up and returned the books to the shelves before waving at Yaku and Lev, telling him that he was going ahead.

 

He frowned at the floor as he walked, thinking of what he heard earlier. Surely Kuroo had another reason as to why he was so pissed.

 

He didn't look like he gave fuck when the girl dumped coke on him yesterday.

 

Kenma sighed at the ever growing confusion he had about Kuroo Tetsurou. As he rounded the corner that led to his locker, he saw a girl crouching in front of it, sitting on the floor with her face buried between her knees.

 

He tilted his head and called out, "Excuse me."

 

The girl lifted her head and Kenma saw that she was Yukie with her face stained with tears and eyes bloodshot. Yukie immediately stood up and gave way. Kenma nodded and opened his locker, placing the only book he was carrying inside.

 

"I'm sorry." Came a whimper from behind

 

What was that again? He turned around and raised an eyebrow, "What?"

 

The girl looked at him and her tears started flowing. Kenma didn’t even know what to do at that point so he just stood awkwardly, “Uhh—“

 

“I’m so sorry, Kenma. So sorry.” She choked out, snot running from her nose. Kenma just looked at her and said, “It’s fine.”

 

“No it’s not!” She argued loudly making Kenma jump back in surprise. The girl wiped her face with an already wet handkerchief, “It’s just..I didn’t know he would be pissed.”

 

“He?” Kenma asked. Probably Kuroo.

 

“Kuroo of course! He never even gets pissed!” She exclaimed and stomped her feet like an angry child, “Now I’m going to get expelled.”

 

Normally, Kenma would not have given a fuck but the fact that this girl was gonna get expelled because of him really bruised his conscience.

 

If he were as mean as the others, he would think that the girl deserved it but he didn’t think anyone did at that point.

 

“I don’t even know why he made such a big deal about you.” Neither do I.

 

Kenma opened and closed his mouth trying to think of anything to say.  He sighed and said, “It’s not a big deal really.” Surely, it was a big deal for him but he couldn’t say that to her face.

 

“Just tell him I’m cool with it.” Kenma told her as he closed the locker. The girl smiled at him and said, “Thanks!”

 

Kenma sighed and ran a hand through his hair, softening the nonexistent knots. This school was a hassle and it’s only the second day

 

Outside of school though, Kenma spent time playing his 3DS that's he's always forced himself not to bring out during classes that were boring and had lessons he already knew about. 

 

He'd constantly talk with his parents during meals who were both accountants in a small bank with an okay salary. Kenma also texted with Tooru and Shouyou, his only friends from middle school who were all in different universities.

 

The next monday, Kenma found himself in the packed gym being dragged by Lev with Taketora. 

 

"Kenma didn't you say you were a setter in high school?" Yaku said as he stretched preparing for a practice game with a school he's yet to know.

 

Turns out, Yaku was a volleyball player for Nekoma with the Libero position. Lev constantly boasted about his boyfriend's receives and in turn Yaku bullshat him about his sucky ones.

 

Kenma turned to Yaku, "Yeah. But it was only for a single year."

 

Yaku nodded and then turned to Lev, "You guys better look for seats. The gyms getting pretty packed."

 

Lev nodded vigorously and kissed his boyfriends forehead, "Alright. Good luck." That was probably the first time Kenma saw Yaku blush.

 

As him, Taketora and Lev went over to the seats, his ears almost popped when he heard the screams of the girls already seated on the bleachers.

 

"Tsukishima!" "Bokuto!" "Akaashi!" "Kuroo!"

 

Kenma looked at the court and saw the four of them striding towards the middle. They were starters and Kenma noticed Kuroo wearing the bright red jersey of Nekoma and a number 1 on the back and the front.

 

He turned to Lev questioningly, "What-?"

 

"Oh yeah, they're all part of the volleyball team. They're starters." Lev said excitedly, "Akaashi's the setter, Tsukishima and Kuroo are middle blockers and Bokuto's the ace. And yeah, Kuroo's the captain. You should see his blocks. 

They're super awesome and they hit the court like whaaaam~" Lev was rambling now. He kind of reminded Kenma of Shouyou with their tendency to get lost in their own words.

 

He nodded. "So that's why these people especially Kuroo are famous around these parts, huh?" 

 

Lev nodded, "Yeah and also because his parents are part of the school's board members with the biggest shares or something. They basically own the university."

 

Kenma's eyes widened at that. That guy's a pretty overall person wasn't  he? He felt impressed, that was sure. But it’s not like he could make a big deal out of it since Kuroo was that type of person who’d mess with another person just for the fun of it.

 

And Kenma didn’t want to be that person.

 

"Oh." Kenma mumbled and looked at the court where he swore Kuroo's eyes went his way. 

 

"Oh?" Lev asked and took hold of his shoulder which he actually flinched to. Lev drew his hand back and held it up in a placating manner, "Sorry, sorry. It's just, you're still unimpressed?"

 

"Yeah." Kenma said without turning to him, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

 

"Wow." Lev sighed and Kenma saw his huge smile from the corner of his eye, "Well, okay. But you know, when I said Kuroo had the hugest shares in this university, I forgot to mention that Bokuto-" Lev's long hand pointed at Bokuto Koutarou who kept following the guy named Akaashi around with a huge pout.

 

Kenma looked at Lev with a raised eyebrow. Lev smiled, "This university is like two universities combined although the building was the original Nekoma university. The other university, Fukurodani, merged with Nekoma and made their own building some sort of shopping mall."

 

So that explained the long ass name?

 

"And that has anything to do with Bokuto how-?" Kenma asked lowly.

 

"Well his family were investors for Fukurodani and had the hugest shares. When they merged with Nekoma, his and Kuroo's had equal of the shares so like they're both heirs." Lev explained and then pouted, "My family has shares too but they're like just 5% maybe?"

 

Damn these richass people.

 

"Alright." Kenma nodded. He didn't know what to make of the information, in fact, he didn't care. He came to the university to study and hopefully graduate.

 

"Kuroo's a bit more famous though." Lev continued and then frowned, "Well, whatever."

 

Taketora suddenly grumbled glaring at Kuroo from the court, "You know we share some classes. He may be pretty laid back and stuff but he's kind of smart, I guess. 1st or 2nd in class? I don't know. It pisses me off."

 

Even with all that, Kenma still hated didn’t know what to make of Kuroo. He seemed pretty cool and all.

 

Why are you even thinking of the guy? Kenma’s brain asked.

 

Shut up, I didn’t ask for your opinion, he replied.

 

Call him weird but Kenma had internal conversations with himself just because he was so introverted.

 

 His thoughts were cut off when he heard the distinct shouts of, "Thank you for having us!" After the cheers followed, "Seijoh! Seijoh!"

 

Seijoh? Isn't that Tooru's school? He craned his neck and saw that Tooru was already staring at him, "Kenma! Hiiiii~" Tooru went over to their part on the bleachers, "I haven't seen you in a long timeee~"

 

Kenma stood up and walked towards him offering a rare smile, "Tooru. Nice to see you."

 

Tooru pouted, "You don't seem to appreciate me right now, Ken-chan. I want a hug."

 

"I'd hug you but there are pe-" Kenma was crushed by Tooru's body, his arms wrapping him in bear hug. Tooru squeezed him, "You're always so fluffy Ken-chan." 

 

"Tooru- I can't breathe." 

 

Tooru then let go, "Oh sorry! Well then, Ken-chan, you better cheer for me and my team. I don't care about you being from Nekoma~" Tooru winked at him before bounding towards the court where Iwaizumi smacked his head and told him to stretch.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kuroo frowning at his direction. He looked at the man with a blank look making him turn away almost immediately.

 

He’d caught Kuroo looking at him a couple of times now.

 

The game started and the people in the gym started cheering as loud as possible. Seijoh served first and he knew then that Nekoma was screwed. Tooru's serves were high caliber and he doubt anyone could-

 

"Yaku!!" Lev shouted. Yaku received Tooru's serve like it was nothing. Kenma's eyes widened comically at that when the receive went straight to Akaashi, he went for a quick and Kuroo spiked the ball directly in front of Seijoh's libero who failed to catch it.

 

"Kuroooo~" The cheers were up again. 

 

Kenma watched the game intently, studying the actions of every player. As always, Oikawa was at his best. His set ups were clean and precise and no attack went to waste although Kenma noticed he kept giving sets to the left that were fast and far from the net. Clearly, he was trying to avoid the opposite team’s ridiculous blockers.

Iwaizumi hit a spike that rang through the gym; some people started booing because apparently, he went against Kuroo’s block. Some people started cheering though, calling out his name. Kenma turned to those people and saw that they were from Seijoh. Trust them to bring fans to a practice game.

14-15 Nekoma-Fukurodani

Kenma noticed how calm and collected Akaashi was as he set a spike for Bokuto who slammed it down, sending the crowd into frenzy. The spiked-haired man started cheering and slapping Akaashi’s arm repeatedly clearly annoying said man. They were both skilled, Kenma could see it clearly.

Tsukishima was really tall making it quite an advantage for his team, especially combined with Kuroo who’s blocks were the same as his: calculated and precise. They could both read attacks pretty well.

Set end: 25-23 Nekoma-Fukurodani.

During timeout, Kenma eyes went to the Nekoma team where they huddled and laughed to themselves. Kuroo slung his arms around Akaashi and Bokuto, a huge smile on his face and talking really fast. He suddenly turned towards the bleachers as if scanning the crowd for someone and his gaze locked in at Kenma, giving him a small smile before turning away.

What in the world. Kenma paid it no mind.

At the Seijoh team though, Iwaizumi looked really pissed and argued with Oikawa who looked like he was trying to avoid the barrage of words.

Kenma turned to Lev beside him, who kept chanting Yaku’s name like a broken record. Taketora looked disinterested though, clutching his phone in one hand and scrolling nonchalantly.

At the start of the second set, it was Oikawa’s serve. Kenma’s eyes widened a fraction as he saw the way Oikawa focused as he slammed the ball down so quickly Yaku didn’t have time to react. It continued like that for just for another serve, making Lev yell so loud Kenma feared he’d cut his uvula.

On the third serve though, Yaku was prepared and he received the ball automatically. Akaashi set the ball to Tsukishima who did a dump. The other team’s libero received it with a bit more effort, this time Oikawa used a quick.

The set continued but Seijoh couldn’t seem pull through but to be fair to them, they actually had the set point two times with Oikawa abandoning set ups that were farther from the net which Kenma knew was a pain for the spikers.

Maybe that was what Iwaizumi was so pissed off about.

They started using their middle blockers as decoys giving Iwaizumi a bit of breathing room no matter how small, squeezing out some few points. But despite that, they were still assaulted by Bokuto’s spikes and Kuroo’s quicks. Tsukishima’s blocks seemed to be putting pressure on the middle blockers and the lefts.

 Akaashi was good at using all their players and also using the situation to his advantage. He even managed to put some feints in.

The match ended with the points: 30-28 Nekoma

The students started cheering, making Kenma wince at the sheer volume. He stood up and said to Lev and then to Taketora, “Hey, I’m gonna go ahead.”

 They both nodded and bid him goodbye. Kenma decided to approach Oikawa who was still a bit cheerful despite his loss. The said man turned to him with a grin, “Hey! Ken-chan!”

Kenma nodded and mumbled as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, “You went overboard with the left set ups, huh?”

“Geh?! You too?!” Oikawa shrieked, reeling back and face twisted in horror. Iwaizumi approached them and nodded at Kenma before turning to Oikawa with frown, “Damn right he did. This idiot just wanted to put pressure on me.”

“I did not!” Oikawa argued, squinting his eyes at Iwaizumi who glowered making him whimper then pout.

“Well maybe I did.” Oikawa murmured looking at the other direction with a huge pout, “The last game you said I needed to trust you more with the attacks and that’s what I did.”

Iwaizumi huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, “I said I needed you to trust me, I didn’t say you’d stop using that already small brain of yours and go overboard.”

Kenma studied them as they bantered before saying, “So you’re finally dating?”

The two visibly stilled and turned to him in slow motion like they were in some sort of anime. These two were impossible.

“Wha-what?” Oikawa said, giving him a faltering smile. Iwaizumi held his hands up and looked at Oikawa, “I’m too tired for this.” The man turned to Kenma, “Bye pudding-head see ya around.”   

These people and the nicknames they’ve given him.

Kenma frowned at Iwaizumi’s retreating figure before looking at Oikawa, “Congratulations. I have to go.”

Oikawa pouted and took hold of Kenma’s sleeve, “But don’t you want to know about how he courted me?”

“I’m guessing you were the one who courted him.” He replied before taking Oikawa’s hand off his sleeve.

“Pfff..as if I’d stoop that low just for him.” Oikawa huffed, placing a hand on his hip. Kenma rolled his eyes, “You already did. Now, I’m gonna go and get to class.”

Oikawa frowned, “Class? It’s 6pm. Didn’t you like, fix your schedule?”

Kenma’s schedule was rough if you asked other people but to him it was fine. Mostly his classes started at 8am but he’d have a four hour break by noon and then go back by 6pm. He went home mostly around 8pm which wasn’t really a big deal since there were tons of taxis waiting just outside the gate of the university.

“My schedule’s fine, Tooru.” Kenma murmured and turned away with a wave of his hand. Oikawa called out to him when he got a few steps farther, “Ken-chan!”

He turned slowly and raised a questioning eyebrow. Oikawa gave him a menacing smile, “Be careful going home at night, you don’t know what’s lurking in the dark.”

Kenma rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time before turning away, his hand going to the strap of his backpack. Oikawa was a sucker for the supernatural and he liked dragging people along with his antics.

Kenma paid his words no mind as he went inside his last class which lasted about two hours or so. He fiddled with his pen as he listened to the professor who walked back and forth discussing all about greek gods and whatnot.

On each side of him, the students were asleep and some even smelled like booze and cigarettes. He could never fathom why these people even went to school if they weren’t even going to pay attention.

Kenma’s thoughts wandered as he scanned the room, the professor’s voice droning out. He spotted a girl talking on the phone a few chairs away, her raucous laughter invading his ears.

“Oh, you’re such a tease Kuroo!” The girl wailed and twirled her long black hair between her fingers.

Kuroo, huh? That girl was new.

Kenma hated to admit it but this Kuroo guy has really been bothering him. Maybe because he was the first person he’d interacted with on the first day of school and surprise! He was an asshole to Kenma’s eyes or maybe it was the unusual stares he’d sent his way for the past week.

Kenma didn’t know why but something about that guy irked him and sent a nagging feeling to his head. He decided to discard the overall thought of the guy and tried to pay more attention to the professor.

After two long hours and a backpack full of homework, the class finally ended. Kenma stood up and stretched his body, feeling the satisfying crack of his joints.

He walked out of the classroom which was in the second floor. The entire building was a bit quiet, a far cry from the usual bustling of the students in the hallways and classrooms.

As he walked down the corridor that led to the stairs, Kenma felt a chill run down his spine. He turned around to look at the empty hallway almost instinctively and saw that there was no one there. The other students must have used the elevator on the other side of the building.

He shrugged, cursing to himself, “Damn. Oikawa’s rubbing off on me.” He walked down the dimly lit flight of stairs, hands tightening around the huge mythology book he carried close to his chest.

Normally, Kenma liked the dark and the silence that came with it but at that moment, the lack of sound was deafening. He tried to make as much noise with the sole of his shoes as he walked just to keep his mind off of anything that might scare him or whatever.

As he reached the last step, he turned the corner and saw a dark figure leaning on the wall. All the hair on Kenma’s arms stood along with the one’s on his nape.

He couldn’t help himself. He shrieked.

“Ahhh!” Kenma jumped back dropping his book and poised to run towards the other direction.

What Kenma didn’t expect though was the scream that the figure let out in a deep voice, “What the fuck?!”

That was a guy. Kenma, just what in the fuck?

Kenma stepped forward and so did the figure, when the light hit the mysterious person’s figure, Kenma almost killed him then and there.

“What are you doing?” Kenma asked, raising his voice a bit. Kuroo stood in front of him wearing his usual black leather jacket and messy hair.

He brought a hand to his chest and smiled letting out a huge sigh, “Damn. You scared me there.”

So he was the scared one? Kenma clenched his fists and clicked his tongue, “You shouldn’t be hanging around hallways like a creep.”

Kuroo gave him a cheeky grin, his eyes almost disappearing, “Sorry. I was waiting for someone.”

Oh. That girl with the long hair?

Kenma rolled his eyes and picked up his book. He straightened up and walked past him while mumbling, “Your girlfriend probably used the elevator.”

He power-walked the fuck out of the building just to avoid any more conversation with Kuroo. He reached the entrance when he heard Kuroo call out, “Hey, wait up!”

He didn’t pay him any mind as he walked out of the building, the night’s cold breeze startling him. He shivered and walked towards the taxi lot.

“Hey, ombre!” Kuroo’s voice was closer now but he refused to turn around. He felt a hand on his shoulder making him halt. He turned slowly, shrugging off the guy’s hand.

“What do you want?” He mumbled, looking intently at Kuroo as he placed his hand on his knees and panted. Kuroo looked up at him and smiled, “You know for such a short guy, you have really long strides.”

Kenma’s eye twitched at the comment making him turn around and resume walking. This guy was wasting his time.

“You should go back to your girlfriend.” Kenma called out to him. Seriously, what was this guy’s problem?

Kenma thought that maybe he was this guy’s target for the week or something. He looked like someone who didn’t consider gender as a problem. Kenma would avoid him at all cost if that was the case.

 Kuroo fell into step and smiled down at him, “Actually, I was waiting for you.”

Oh. Grade A smoothness.

“What do you want?” He said quietly as he eyed the few cabs that were left in the lot. Damn, he’d have to hurry or he’ll never make it home.

“You see, I need to ask you a favor-“ Kuroo drawled out, facing forwards and smiling. Kenma shook his head immediately, “No.”

Kuroo whined and Kenma could see in the corner of his eye, the pout that the tall man sent his way, “Aww, I haven’t even told you yet.”

“No.” He said again. He halted as the man stepped in front of him, “But this is a matter of life and death!”

Knowing this guy, it’s probably the most unimportant thing in the world. He sighed and answered, “Fine, what do you want?” He really needed to get this guy out of his hair.

“Can I have Oikawa’s number?”

Kenma swore he felt a vain pop from his own temple as he heard those words. He also kind of felt thankful that the guy wasn’t just hitting on him for the purpose of hitting on him. Wait what.

He lifted his book and used it to shove the other guy out of his way, “You’re an idiot. I don’t have it.”

“You guys were really close earlier so I know you have his number!” He heard the guy call out. Didn’t this guy have enough girls already? Why would he want Oikawa’s number?

Kenma paid no attention to Kuroo and walked towards the lot, hiring the first cabbie he saw. He went inside the back seat and turned to look at Kuroo who pouted, “I’m gonna ask you tomorrow then!”

Kenma shook his head and frowned at the guy before turning to look at the road. As the taxi driver drove away, he looked at Kuroo’s figure as he was walking back towards the building.

Something about it seemed familiar to him. He brought a hand to his forehead as he felt a faint throb from his head, his vision dimming for a second.

Ah shit. There it was again.


	3. Unsettling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey heyyy! im updating! :D  
> i read your feedback and i have to say, my heart is swelling with emotion sobs <3  
> and i have info about this fic  
> 1\. the 3rd years like Bokuto and Kuroo are sophomores here and the others are all freshmen because every time i think of ages in anime im just like, "the third years and their kouhaii" :D   
> that's pretty much it  
> enjoy!

Kenma sighed as he ran his hand through his hair and reached for the keys inside his back pocket. He opened the main door of their house and called out, “I’m home.”

“In the kitchen, sweetie.” His mom called out. He took his shoes off and went over to the kitchen where his mother stood by the counter, preparing dinner. He took off his bag and placed it on the said counter, approaching his mom and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re just in time for dinner.” His mom said as she stirred the pot of what looked like beef stew. He nodded and sat on the table.

A few seconds later, Kenma heard his father’s voice as he entered the kitchen, waving briefly at Kenma, “Yes. We’ll handle the account. Leave it to us.”

His father dropped the call and looked at Kenma, “Are you okay, son? You look tired.” He shook his head briefly, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” It was his mother who asked this time, placing the bowl of stew on the round table, “Maybe you should change your schedule.”

Kenma shook his head again, “I’m fine. I can handle it.” They started eating in silence before his mother struck up another subject, “By the way, how’s school? Is Nekoma as prestigious as I’ve heard?”

Kenma lifted his head only to see the curious looks his parents shot him. He sighed and waved a hand, “Yeah. The buildings are huge and the profs are pretty good.”

“That’s good to hear then.” His father gave him a small smile before his expression turned all serious, “You know, Kenma. We love you and we know you’re going to that school for us.”

“Dad, stop.” It was already too late to even mention. But this conversation has been going on for a long time now and maybe it was time to finally discuss it.

“Kenma, we know how much you hate unfamiliarity.” His mother started. Kenma dropped his spoon and sighed, “I hate it but it’s too late now. It’s not like I can move to another school.”

“We’re not asking you to move or anything. In fact, we’re encouraging you to..open up.” His father said.

“I already am. I’m in Nekoma, remember?” He just wanted out of the conversation because he knew where this was going.

“Maybe you should start being open to try new things?” Tada!

His mother smiled at him with so much pure intent that he didn’t know what to feel.

“I am opening up. It’s just-“ Kenma cut himself off by biting his lip. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Well, I’m pretty sure you’re doing great. Like always.” Kenma didn’t miss the look his mother shot to his father that clearly said, ‘let’s drop it for now’.

Kenma nodded and resumed eating, chewing his food in silence.

“So did you meet anyone new?” Ah shit.

“Yeah, I guess.” Kenma thought of his unique..acquaintances. Surely he could call them friends. He frowned when his thoughts wandered to Kuroo.

A sudden throb shot through his head making him close his eyes tightly, dropping his spoon with a loud clang. His hands went to his temples and clutched tightly at his long hair.

Kenma’s head felt as though a bulldozer was running around inside and wrecking his brain.

“Kenma!” His mother screamed.

This was different from the first ones that were mere dull throbs.

Kenma’s head hurt so much. His ears were ringing loudly and suddenly a single image flashed in his mind.

A small clearing with a ragged-looking volleyball net

And the image disappeared as fast as it appeared.

 He groaned as he felt a pair of hands take his shoulder and help him up. He opened his eyes and saw his father grimacing, leading him towards their living room.

His mom bustled around in the kitchen, going through the cupboards frantically. Kenma sat on the sofa as his father crouched in front of him with a frown.

His mother ran over to him carrying a glass of water and a single tablet. He took the tablet and chugged the entire glass down, feeling the cold water run down his stomach.

His mother fixed him with a worried look, “Are you taking your medicine regularly, sweetie?”

Kenma waved his hand nonchalantly, “Yeah.”

“You’re lying.”

In truth, Kenma stopped taking his maintenance for almost four months now. He figured he’d be fine since he hadn’t experienced one in a long time now. And it’s been four years. Surely, he was fine.

But he guessed he was wrong.

“Seriously mom, I’m fine. I’ve been taking them.” Kenma stood up, wavering slightly on his feet. He pushed past his parents who questioned him repeatedly.

He sighed as he reached the first step of the staircase and turned to them, “I’m just tired, that’s all. I’m going to sleep.”

“Maybe you should take therapy agai-“

“No.” Kenma immediately said. He didn’t want it, much less needed it. He was fine.

At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

He went inside his room and immediately went towards his closet drawer that was filled to the brim with his maintenance tablets. He sighed and took what he needed before swallowing them dry.

Why was this happening again?

Kenma changed his clothes quickly before crawling under the covers of his bed. He turned to the side and thought of what just happened.

It happened because of Kuroo. What did Kuroo even have to do with it?

He thought that maybe it was because he hasn’t taken medicine for a long time and it just happened in time with him thinking about Kuroo.

But that image.

The clearing.

Fuck. Here we go again, Kenma thought.

In truth, Kenma didn’t want to deal with these things anymore, which was why he tried his best to fall asleep, keeping the image out of his mind.

It was hard but he needed to.

Finally, after shutting his eyes as tightly as he could, he allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by his breathing and the sound of his own heartbeat.

*****

“Today, you’re gonna be working in pairs. You can choose who you want to work with. The project is due next month so you have enough time.” The entire classroom groaned and so did Kenma. He slumped forward and buried his face in his clothed arms.

Pairs. No, just no.

Now, he started considering his intelligence a curse given that he’d been placed in an advanced course. If only his friends were here, he wouldn’t have a problem.

Kenma looked around the huge room and saw everyone standing up and approaching their preferred partners. He looked around and realized there was nobody left without a partner.

Ah shit. I guess I’d do everything myself.

He sighed and closed his notebook, reaching for his bag and placing it inside. He saw someone approach him from the left side making him look up.

It was a tall guy with spiked brown hair and a huge smile. He tilted his head to the side in a questioning manner. The guy occupied the empty seat beside him and held out a hand, “Hi. I’m Inuoka. Do you have a partner?”

Kenma eyed his hand reluctantly before taking it, “Kenma. And no.”

Inuoka beamed, “I can be your partner.” Kenma nodded, “Thanks.”

Their project was pretty straightforward. They needed to create an entire story with 30,000 words. If this were a minor subject, Kenma would have flipped his shit but it wasn’t. So there he was, injuring a one-sided conversation with another student.

“So, you’re a scholar?” Inuoka leaned to him a bit too close for comfort. Kenma leaned back and nodded. Inuoka’s eyes widened, “Woah, so you’re like really smart?”

Kenma shrugged and looked at his notebook. Inuoka laughed, “You’re pretty shy, aren’t you?”

Kenma shrugged again turning to look at the guy with a plain look, “Why don’t we discuss what we’re gonna write.”

“Oh. You’re right.” Inuoka grinned, moving his chair closer to his. Kenma brought out a pen and asked, “What will our theme be?”

“We can right post-apocalyptic with lazer beams and jets!” Inuoka suggested excitedly. Kenma sighed, he didn’t know why he expected something other than that.

“But that’s hard to write especially if we’re gonna need 30k words.” He said exasperatedly. Inuoka pouted and then he suddenly brightened up, “Why don’t we write something contemporary? About university students falling inlove or something.”

Kenma  was so done with this guy. He was worse than Shouyou and Lev.

“We can but I can do the technical parts and beta the entire thing.” Kenma accepted his fate, “You do the plot.”

“Awesome, why don’t we-“

“Excuse me?”

Both Kenma and Inuoka looked up at the sound of the voice. Kenma cursed the heavens and wondered what he ever did wrong in his past life.

“Hey, Kenma.” Kuroo smiled down at him with a wave.

Kenma turned back to the notebook, “Where were we, Inuoka?”

“But Kuroo-“ Inuoka started. Kenma turned towards him with a glare, “Do you want to finish this or what?”

Inuoka gave a wavering smile, “Sure, I do but-“ He pointed his hand towards Kuroo as discreetly as possible.

Kuroo laughed at the gesture, “I like you, kid. But mind if I steal Kenma for a while?”

Inuoka immediately staggered upright, “No, not all!” Kuroo patted his back and said, “Good. Now off you go.” Kenma eyed Inuoka as he gave him a small wave and a “See you around!”

Kuroo plopped down on Inuoka’s seat and placed his chin on his hand, “Hey.” He crooned, smiling at Kenma.

Kenma glared at him and turned to his notebook, “Go away.”

“I won’t. Like I said, I need a favor.” Kuroo said quietly.

Kenma looked at him warily, “Why don’t you ask Oikawa directly? And why are you here by the way?”

“It’s no fun asking him directly. He’ll know I know his number so I can’t flirt with him anonymously.” Kuroo said, leaning back on the chair. Kenma rolled his eyes and continued writing.

“And I’m here because I switched minors. Now we get to share a single class, isn’t that great?” Kuroo said enthusiastically.

Wonderful.

Kenma sighed and said sarcastically, “That’s so great.”

Kuroo leaned closer to him making him wince. He looked around the room and saw that the students were now looking at him and Kuroo. Fuck.

“Go away.” Kenma said as sternly as possible. He hated all the stares that were sent his way with a passion.

“Don’t wanna.” Kuroo said to him in a childish voice. People were still looking at them making it so uncomfortable he wanted to bolt out of the room then and there.

Kuroo was just a spoiled asshole who thinks he can get whatever the hell he wanted.

He seemed to also have noticed the stares so he turned and shot their audience a look making them all snap their heads towards the front where the professor lazily turned off the projector.

Kenma huffed, taking his bag from the floor and shoving his things inside.

He turned around to Kuroo and said low enough for him to hear, “If you think you’re so high that you can get whatever you want whenever you want without being the least bit sensitive about it, then think again.”

That was the longest line he’d said all year. Probably.

He turned away, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and walking out of the classroom as fast as possible, leaving a stunned Kuroo in his wake.

Kenma wondered what the big deal was. Sure, he was pissed that Kuroo pestered him a lot but what really did it for him was the amount of confidence the guy had and his balancing lack of sensitivity.

Kenma thought back to the way he managed to make Inuoka a stuttering mess just by approaching and make the students avert their eyes with just a look. Surely that was something a person could achieve by being so overflowing with confidence and fame.

He was a person who believed that everything could be given to him with just a snap of his fingers and that seriously irked Kenma.

He tried to control his anger as he went to the computer laboratory. He sighed in relief when he saw that it was mostly empty save for a student dozing on the farthest corner.

Kenma went to the closest cubicle and decided to do his research homework that was due the next day. He took out his notebook and started.

He was halfway done when he heard the door open, making him tear his gaze away from the monitor and saw two people coming inside. It was Bokuto and Akaashi, who passed by him and went towards the other row of computers.

He groaned internally at the thought of having to strike up any conversation with Kuroo’s friends. He looked at the monitor intensely and tried to finish his work as fast as possible.

Bokuto’s voice was distracting since it echoed through the entire room, “But Keiji! I don’t want to ask anyone else!”

“Please tone down your voice.” Akaashi’s calm voice came, “I don’t want to go to those high-class events, Kou, you know that.”

“But you’re my boyfriend! It would make sense if you-“ Bokuto’s voice got muffled no doubt by Akaashi.

Kenma’s eyes widened when he heard the word boyfriend. He shook his head and continued to type on the keyboard.

So they were dating?

A minute or so later, Akaashi dragged Bokuto out of the place by the collar while the taller man grumbled out complaints.

Kenma’s eyes followed their figures as they went outside. What the heck was that about?

He cleared his mind and pushed on with his work. He glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was already one o’clock. Damn, he’d skipped lunch.

He finished the entire thing by 1:30pm, sighing as he placed his things inside his bag. He reluctantly opened his facebook account which he hadn’t opened in months and saw that there was a single friend request.

He prayed that it was just some random person and not anyone from sch-

_Tetsurou Kuroo has sent you a friend request._

Oh for the love of-

Kenma hovered the cursor over the ignore button for a couple of seconds, studying Kuroo’s small profile picture that looked as though he was posing in front of the Eiffel Tower. He continued hovering over the button before clicking it. The request immediately disappeared placing his mind at ease.

He was about to log out when another request came.

_Tetsurou Kuroo has sent you a friend request._

Kenma ignored it again but when he did that, a message popped up.

**Tetsurou Kuroo:** I’m sorry for earlier ( >人<)

**Tetsurou Kuroo:** And pls accept my request (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

Another request came and Kenma ignored it again.

A message came from Kuroo

**Tetsurou Kuroo:** Rude! °Д°

**Tetsurou Kuroo:** Come on, just this once. Grant me this one thing.

You ignored this request.

**Tetsurou Kuroo:** Kenma

**Tetsurou Kuroo:** Please

Kenma finally replied after a beat, furiously typing down on the keyboard

**Kenma Kozume:** If you send me one more request, I will block you.

Kenma was already at the privacy settings and waiting for what he knew was coming.

One friend request

**Kenma Kozume:** Okay then

**Tetsurou Kuroo:** No! Wait!

Kenma typed in the nuisance’s name and finally blocked him. Kenma leaned back heavily to his chair, rubbing at his temples. Kuroo was a ridiculous person.

He was going to such lengths just to get Oikawa’s number.

Kenma contemplated giving the idiot Oikawa’s number since he was so keen on getting it and it’s not like Oikawa would mind.

Iwaizumi probably would.

Kenma would have to ask permission from them if he wanted to get the annoying lamppost out of his hair and out of his life.

Kenma sighed for the umpteenth time and turned off the computer, remembering to log out of his account and delete the work he already copied. He stood up and walked outside the laboratory, squinting at the bright light of the sun that came from the oculus.

Kenma felt his stomach rumble, begging for food. He decided he’d have to go out of campus for a while since his next class wasn’t until 4pm.

He sighed knowing he’d have to walk across the whole campus. He ignored other people as they went about in their daily activities.

Girls were huddled in groups talking about which celebrity broke up with their ‘baes’. Kenma rolled his under the length of his hair at the cliché events he’d have to endure for the entire year.

When he finally reached the main building and was out of the lobby, he saw Kuroo sitting on one of the sofas and clutching a phone in his hand, his thumb flying over it really fast.

Kenma walked past him and hoped that he went unnoticed and thankfully the gods were on his side. He breathed a sigh of relief and went over to the taxi lot which was surprisingly empty.

He sat on one of the benches and frowned at the incredible heat of the surroundings. He unzipped his hoodie to hopefully get him through the heated wait but it was still too warm for his liking.

As his last resort, he brought out a rubber band that he always kept inside his backpack and tied his hair up, making sure to leave some of his bangs to make it less uncomfortable for his mentality.

It sort of helped which made him feel a little bit better. There were still no cabs entering the lot so he took out his phone and saw several messages from Shouyou and Tooru. He opened Tooru’s first.

**Tooru** : Ken-chan?

**Tooru** : You’re an English major, right?

**Tooru:** Can you please tell Iwa-chan that putting ass and shit ten times in each sentence is beyond redundant

Kenma snorted at Tooru’s lame attempt on getting back at Iwaizumi. He decided to reply,

**Me:** I don’t think my level of intelligence is enough for the information you seek

He scrolled and opened Shouyou’s messages

**Shouyou:** KENMa!!

**Shouyou:** How are u ?!!!

**Shouyou:** I miss u so mucj zomgh

Kenma frowned as he saw that the messages were received about ten minutes ago.

**Me:** Why are you texting? Shouldn’t you be in class?

Shouyou’s reply was instantaneous

**Shouyou:** im in class but im texting hehe

**Me:** Why don’t you try listening?

**Shouyou** : no way! Algebra sux

**Shouyou** : ill prolly listen if algebra teaches me how to spike real good

Kenma shook his head at that. The usual.

**Me:** Yeah. Good luck with that.

Kenma almost dropped his phone when he heard the loud honk. He looked up and saw a sleek, black car with tinted windows.

He tilted his head questioningly. The passenger seat’s window rolled down and then, lo and behold!

Kuroo was sitting on the driver’s seat with a smug smile on his face, hand clenched on the steering wheel.

Kenma immediately rolled his eyes and turned to look at his phone, scrolling past the messages he’d sent Shouyou.

“Kenma!” Kuroo’s loud voice made him wince and lift his head up after looking around at the thankfully empty lot, “What.”

“You going somewhere?” Kuroo shouted at him.

He shook his head, “No thanks.”

Kuroo pouted and whined, “But I haven’t even invited you yet.”

“Don’t wanna.” Kenma replied. This guy sure was persistent.

He heard a car door being opened and closed and the next thing he knew, Kuroo was standing in front of him with his hands on his hips, “Come on. I can be your driver.”

“I’ll take a taxi, thanks.” Kenma replied as he continued to stare up at the guy with a bored look.

“You see, taxis are not allowed to enter today.” Kuroo informed him with a cheshire grin, “It’s drive yourself home day.”

Kenma raised an eyebrow, “Oh? I’m pretty sure you just made that up.”

Kuroo held his hands up, “Alright, you got me. But honestly, the route for taxis got blocked for a street party of sorts so they’ll resume driving in about an hour.”

An hour? Kenma sighed and ran a hand through his face. The gods were definitely not on his side.

“But not to worry!” Kuroo crossed his hands over his chest, “You savior is here.”

Kenma actually gave a sarcastic snort, “Pfft..savior?”

“Indeed. Or you can call me your knight in shining armor.” Kuroo winked at him.

If Kenma didn’t already know the guy was just doing this for Oikawa’s number, he’d definitely think he was flirting with him.

“So, what do you say?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

Kenma weighed down his options. He could wait for an hour or even go back to campus but that was too much of a hassle especially with the afternoon heat.

He decided he’d have to endure this guy and nodded, “Fine.”

Kuroo clasped his hands together, “Wonderful!”

Kenma stood up and shouldered his backpack as Kuroo went over to the passenger door and opened it for him like some sort of butler.

Kenma merely nodded and went inside, Kuroo closing the door for him.

He didn’t know what had gotten into him but he wasn’t afraid and paranoid at all. If this were some other person he’d just met, he would have up and ran but with Kuroo, he felt as though he didn’t need to worry.

Which was probably too stupid especially for him but it was too late now.

 He admired the black leather interior of the car and how spotless it was.

He always thought that Kuroo was that person who’d own a road ranger with beer cans and panties strewn everywhere.

Kuroo went inside the car and took a sharp breath before turning to him, “Seatbelt.”

Kenma nodded and attached the seatbelt, fiddling at the thought of being alone with an asshole.

“Where to?”

That question surprised him for a bit. He didn’t even know where he wanted to go. He just wanted to eat.

Kenma sighed and looked out of the window, “Anywhere with food.”

“As you wish.” Kuroo turned to the front and started the engine. He drove well despite his reckless image.

Kenma actually thought he was those stereotype road raging assholes that drove past red lights and flipped birds at pedestrians.

“Hey.” Kenma turned to look at Kuroo, “What?”

“I’m sorry for earlier.” Kuroo actually sounded sincere, “You probably think I’m an asshole right now.”

“You are.”

“Ouch.”

Kenma snorted and looked at the window as he wrung his fingers together, “I just..hate it when people-“

“Notice you.” Kuroo finished for him. His eyes widened when he heard the exact words he thought of and the exact words he kept saying.

“Huh-?”

Kuroo blinked at the road and cleared his throat, “Ah, nothing. Lucky guess?”

Kenma nodded slowly as they passed by several buildings. Kenma always admired the city; he admired it like it was a puzzle with pieces that were fitted into place.

Everything seemed so clean and precise like everything from the biggest skyscrapers to the smallest hole in the wall were mapped out from day one.

“It’s beautiful, no?” Kuroo asked suddenly. Kenma nodded at that, “It is.”

Kuroo laughed softly, “People would think I’m an idiot for saying this but the city is something that’s unappreciated.”

Kenma looked at him questioningly, “How so?”

Kuroo frowned at the road, “Well, it’s like, people pass by it, live in it and go through it day by day but they fail to notice the beauty of everything, you know?”

Kenma knew, he knew it a lot. He stared at Kuroo as he drove and then there was that faint throb in his head.

He ignored it and proceeded to wonder about Kuroo and his overall personality. Sure, he was a playboy and he flirted with almost everything that moved but here he was, talking to Kenma about the underestimated beauty of a city.

It was almost endearing to find that contradicting side of him.

He’s doing all this for Oikawa’s number so he’s still an asshole.

“Stop staring, kitten.” Kitten?

A huge pain shot up from the base of Kenma’s neck towards his temple making him shut his eyes and press his fists into them.

“Kenma? What’s wrong?” Kuroo sounded too concerned. Kenma shook his head as the pain cleared, “Nothing. Probably just a migraine from the heat earlier.”

Kuroo cursed all of the sudden, his hand tightening on the steering wheel. What was that about?

Kenma decide to ignore it and looked at the road. They were now pulling up at a shopping district.

Kenma took his seatbelt off and so did Kuroo. He raised an eyebrow at him making him smile, “I’m hungry too. I know this awesome place with good food.”

They both went outside and strolled past the shops that were bustling with people. Kenma frowned when Kuroo led him to a restaurant that seemed vaguely familiar.

“This place has the best pie.” Kuroo said as they entered the small yet comfy resto. They went into the booth in the most secluded corner which Kenma was thankful for and ordered.

The waitress twirled hair around her finger flirtatiously as Kuroo scanned the menu. He looked at the waitress with a smile and said, “I’ll have mackerel sandwich and a can of coke. And Kenma? Apple pie and milk tea right?” He said as he turned to Kenma.

Kenma’s eyes widened at that. Those were his two favorite things to eat together, “Yeah but how did you-?”

Kuroo blinked before turning away, handing the menu to the waitress and turning to back to him, “Lucky guess?”

Kuroo was taking a bit too much lucky guesses for Kenma’s liking but he decided to let it slide.

He was just so hungry.

The waitress came back with their orders and the way she ran a hand through the small of Kuroo’s back didn’t go unnoticed by Kenma. For fuck’s sake

He rolled his eyes as he stabbed his fork through the apple pie and digging into it.

Kuroo looked at him and laughed, “Woah there, Kenma. Slow down a bit.”

Kenma looked up at him with his mouth puffed out and said, “I’m hungry.” Well, that’s what he thought he said. Kuroo burst out laughing but Kenma remained indifferent as he chugged down a huge gulp of cold milk tea.

They ate while Kuroo tried to strike up different conversations which Kenma promptly turned down.

This was neither a date, nor two friends out and about. They were merely two university students eating in the same place, at the same table…and one just happened to drive for the other.

That was it.

Kuroo asked for the bill and as Kenma was about to reach for his wallet, Kuroo sighed, “Don’t. It really hurts my feelings.”

Well count me in, Kenma thought.

He looked up at the man as he placed a single card on the folder, “No.”

“Too late now.” Kuroo said as the waitress left with the bill and Kuroo’s card. She came back shortly after and placed a receipt on the table along with a tissue paper and a phone number scribbled on it.

Kuroo spared Kenma a glance before taking the tissue paper and dumping it inside a half empty glass of water. Well, that was that.

Kenma glanced at a wall clock and saw that it was already 3:30. His eyes widened and he turned to Kuroo who was chugging down mint flavored water, “We have to go back right now.”

Kuroo looked at him questioningly, “What? Why?”

Kenma shook his head and stood up, taking his bag from the floor, “I have a class at 4.”

“Well shit.” Kuroo stood up immediately and followed Kenma who was already bolting out of the place.

Kenma was surprised to see Kuroo hurrying after him. What he expected was an answer of, ‘You can skip classes sometimes, ya know?’

This guy was full of surprises.

As they went inside the car, Kuroo paused for a second making Kenma ask, “What are you waiting for? A sign?”

Kuroo actually laughed at that and reached over Kenma making him lean back to the chair with a frown, “Wha-“

Kuroo took hold of his seatbelt and attached it for him, “Seatbelt.”

Kenma nodded and Kuroo started the car. He drove really fast making Kenma clutch the panic bar. What the heck.

“Sorry.” Kuroo murmured as they neared the campus. Kuroo parked in front of the lobby despite it being against the school rules but Kenma guessed it didn’t matter because he practically owned the place.

Kenma removed his seatbelt and turned to Kuroo contemplating what to say. He sighed and said as he reached for the doorknob, “Thanks. I’ll ask Oikawa if I can give you his number.” Ah shit, more hassle.

He stepped out of the car and looked back at Kuroo who gave him a pretty fake smile, “Thanks.”

Kenma only nodded and ran towards the science building and heading over to his biology class.

He was out of breath by the time he sat down and thankfully, the professor arrived just after him. He listened to the class intently before his mind wandered like it always did.

Kuroo’s smile was clearly false earlier and a part of Kenma wondered why.

He knew where all his curiosity was going so he stopped himself and promised to do so every time he neared that unsettling realization.


	4. Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I'm updating again since I feel really blessed right now with all your feedback omfg thank you so much. You guys rock (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

A week later, Kenma found himself sitting on one of the benches by the soccer field at noon, inspecting the plot that Inuoka decided for their story.

It was pretty good if you asked Kenma but it lacked that sort of kick that would invite a person to read it.

Well, it’s not like they had a target audience and Kenma doubted that their professor would actually read the entire thing.

He contemplated telling Inuoka later about putting some real flowery words just to lengthen the story.

Kenma sighed and scanned the crowd, seeing that the soccer players were still at it with the practice. He looked at the flyover and saw a familiar figure leaning against the railing.

Kuroo waved at him with a smile, Kenma just nodded at him before looking around and seeing if there were any people who saw the action.

Thankfully, nobody else saw it.

Kenma spent last week with all his homework and projects that he didn’t get to actually have a conversation with his friends that lasted longer than ten minutes. Well, it’s not like he even talked much.

Kenma also hadn’t had any type of interaction with Kuroo the week before since he tried to avoid him at all costs. But Kenma might have had a conversation or two with Akaashi Keiji who he just noticed was also in his AP English class.

One conversation went sort of like this:

_“Hey, you’re Kenma right?” Kenma looked up at the voice from his left and saw that it was Akaashi. He gave the guy a blank look which he replied to with another blank look._

_Kenma chose to reply. “Yeah?”_

_“Mind if I sit beside you?” Akaashi asked. Kenma shook his head and turned back to the professor. Akaashi sat beside him and minded his own business which lead to Kenma thinking that out of all the people in the university, Akaashi was probably his favorite._

He cleared his thoughts and felt his stomach rumble in pure agony. What a diva.

He decided to take a quick snack or something as he fixed his things inside his backpack headed towards the cafeteria. He might have glanced at the flyover to see if Kuroo was there and thankfully, he wasn’t.

He stood in line at the Burger King joint and waited for the person in front of him to finish his order. As he waited, he heard a familiar voice shout from behind him, “Kenma!”

He turned automatically and gave a small smile as he saw Shouyou running towards him with Kageyama at his heels. Shouyou opened up his arms and tackled Kenma in a bear hug, “I missed you!”

Kenma huffed as Shouyou finally let go, “I missed you too.” The cashier called out to Kenma but Shouyou shook his head, “Let’s go find a table, Kageyama can order for us.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, dumbass!” Kageyama shouted at him before he turned to Kenma with a brief, “Sup?”

Kenma nodded at him as he was dragged away to the nearest table. He sat across Shouyou who bounced on his seat and smiled brightly at him, “How are things?”

“Pretty good, I guess. What are you doing here anyway?” Kenma questioned. Shouyou was probably the only person other than Oikawa and his parents whom he was comfortable with.

“We came to check on you of course!” Shouyou replied, “And we also have a practice match today with your school so you best cheer for us!”

Kenma nodded. Karasuno was probably the strongest team in the area but that was clearly biased in Kenma’s opinion.

“And,” Shouyou glared at him, “Your mom told me you haven’t been taking your medicine. Why?”

Kenma sighed heavily, “I’ve been feeling okay for the past few months so I stopped taking them.”

Shouyou gasped dramatically and stood up from his seat, shaking his shoulders, “But the doctor said it was maintenance! He said that you needed to take it even if you weren’t getting them!”

Kenma almost forgot that Shouyou was with him during his last visit to the doctor’s. He groaned internally as he remembered how he managed to memorize every word the doctor said.

“Yeah, well.” Kenma rubbed the back of his head. Shouyou pouted and plopped back on his chair, “You should follow the doctor’s orders Kenma.”

“Yeah,yeah.”  He waved his hand nonchalantly. Kageyama approached them carrying a tray brimming with food.

Shouyou clapped in delight, “Wonderful!”

Kageyama hissed as he sat beside Shouyou, “You’re paying me for this, dumbass.”

“Aw. And here I thought you were becoming a good Samaritan.” Shouyou pouted before pointing at the tray, “Kenma, take whatever you like!”

Kenma took a quarter pounder and a can of diet coke. Shouyou smiled as he talked about school and about his experiences.

Kenma chuckled lightly at the way Shouyou spoke with food inside his mouth, his cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk.

“So you know Kageyama has prescription glasses when he reads right?” Shouyou said excitedly, looking at Kageyama who choked on his food. Kenma nodded, “Yeah?”

“Well he asked me one time when we were studying where they were.” Shouyou was wheezing as he tried to contain his laughter and fend off Kageyama at the same time, “And you know where they were!?”

Kenma bit his lip, suppressing a huge smile. Shouyou laughed out loud, “They were on top of his head!”

Kenma couldn’t help himself from laughing. He lifted his hand towards his mouth as he muffled his chuckles. Shouyou doubled over, smacking the table as he did so. Kageyama turned beet red and made a move of choking his best friend.

He really was thankful for the two of them. They took away the stress he felt for the past two weeks.

Kenma turned to look around and see if they attracted unwanted attention but thankfully, other people were minding their own business.

As Kenma turned his head, he saw Kuroo sitting three tables beside theirs and surprisingly without a girl beside him. Kenma  made eye contact with said man who was frowning at their direction like they have offended him in some way.

It made Kenma frown too. Why did he look so pissed? And why did Kenma care?

They stared at each other for quite some time, Kenma wondering what the fuck was wrong with him.

“Kenma?” Kageyama asked. Kenma blinked and shook his head and turned to look at Kageyama, “Huh?”

“Kags.” Shouyou said slowly as he turned to look at Kageyama, “Did you just see what I see?”

Kageyama nodded briefly.

What were they talking about?

“What?” Kenma asked cluelessly as he sipped his coke. Shouyou smiled menacingly, “You were totally eye-fucking that messy hair dude!”

Kenma sputtered on his drink, “WHAT?! NO!”

Shouyou grinned and patted his shoulder, “It’s fine, Kenma. We support every move you make.”

Kenma slapped Shouyou’s hand away as he felt his cheeks burn, “Piss off Shouyou.”

Shouyou chuckled and took a bite of his third cheeseburger, “It’s totally normal.”

“I wasn’t eye-fucking with him.” Kenma murmured defensively. Oh God. What was he even saying? Why were they even talking about it?!

“Sure you weren’t.” Kageyama said sarcastically as he typed on his phone. Kenma saw the way Shouyou glanced at the screen like some sort of jealous wife.

Shouyou looked back at Kenma with a frown, “Why do you hate him? Did he do anything to you?”

Kenma was really curious as to how Shouyou could change moods in just a second.

“He’s just really annoying.” Kenma replied as he took out his phone and saw this it was still 2:45.

“Why, what did he do?” Shouyou asked as he eyed Kuroo who was already walking out of the cafeteria. Kenma looked at him and saw the glance he shot their way before disappearing out of the double doors.

“Just drop it. It’s kinda hard to explain.” Kenma said, looking at his burger. He lost his appetite.

“Do you want me to beat his six footer ass up?” Shouyou challenged. Kageyama scoffed, “You can beat him in the court, dumbass.”

Shouyou’s eyes shined menacingly, “Why didn’t I think of that.”

“It’s because you’re an idiot.” Kageyama simply stated.

Kenma scoffed and stood up, “You’re both idiots. I have a class this afternoon, I’ll see if I can catch up and maybe see half of the game.”

Shouyou pouted as he too, stood up. He gave Kenma one last hug before saying, “We’ll beat him.”

“I know. Goodbye.” Kenma said as he shouldered his backpack and went outside the cafeteria. He went to the science building where his classroom was.

An hour and a half later, his class ended and he hurried towards the gym to hopefully see a part of the match. He panted as he reached the gym and saw that they were in the third set.

He immediately looked for an empty bleacher with not too many people and sat down. He looked at the score and saw that it was 23-11 Karasuno.

Wait, a 12 point difference?

Kenma looked at the court and saw the usual line-up for Karasuno. As he looked at the other team, he noticed that Kuroo was not there.

His eyes went to the bleachers and saw the man with a towel over his head that was tilted down and his hands clenched tightly on his knees. Why was he on the bench?

Kenma felt an odd sense of concern wash over him which he decidedly ignored.

 Kenma looked back at the court where Shouyou did a quick that went untouched earning them a point. It was their match point now.

Nekoma took a timeout and they went over to the benches. Kenma’s eyes stayed on Kuroo as Bokuto approached him. Kuroo lifted his head and said something looking really pissed before throwing down his towel, standing up and walking out of the gym.

The girls that were a few feet away from Kenma started whining.

Kenma frowned at the anger that was evident on Kuroo’s form.

Maybe I should ask him what was-

He shook his head and stopped thinking about it. He’ll probably find out with the whispers and gossips that were sure to come after the match.

 The match resumed. It was Kageyama’s turn to serve  and as usual, it was a clean one. He really was Oikawa’s junior.

Yaku received it and Akaashi gave the ball to Bokuto who spiked it down earning them a point. Akaashi was at the serve now and he hit it towards Kageyama who looked annoyed by it. Their libero did a toss to the goatie guy who slammed it down. Match end. Karasuno.

Kenma immediately stood up and went over to Shouyou and his teammates. Shouyou noticed him and bounded over, “Kenma!”

“Congratulations.” He greeted with a smile. Shouyou laughed a bit before frowning, “I didn’t get the last point though.” Shouyou was one for dramatics

“Who cares?” Kenma asked, “You won.”

Shouyou pumped his fists excitedly, “Hell yeah!”

Kenma frowned and asked before he could stop himself, “But what happened to Kuroo?”

Shouyou looked at him questioningly before understanding, “Oh yeah. He looked really agitated ever since the match started and their plays got affected.”

Why was he agitated?

“Oh?” Kenma asked. Shouyou nodded and dragged him towards the locker room while talking, “Yeah, they were pretty okay at first with the first set and that’s why they won.” Shouyou growled before smiling again, “But he also kept spacing out and stuff, he didn’t even block much. Eventually, he took himself out during the second set and he said something like, ‘Fuck this.’”

Why was he so pissed? He suddenly felt worried for Kuroo’s wellbeing.

Kenma nodded at that and sat on the bench after taking out his phone. Shouyou spoke while he changed out of his jersey, “We should go out tonight or tomorrow or when we’re all free. Me, you, Tooru, Iwaizumi and Kags.”

With that, Kenma realized that it had been months since he hung out with them and he decided, why not? “Sure.” Kenma replied as Shouyou finished changing. The redhead smiled brightly and they both walked outside, “Which reminds me, how come you know the Kuroo guy?”

Kenma surprisingly felt heat envelop his face which was pretty unusual because he never blushed except when he played his favorite game or when it was cold. Shouyou knew this fact which was why he immediately stopped and screamed, “OH MY GOD! Did you juST BLUSH?!”

Kenma shoved his hand over Shouyou’s mouth, “Shut up.”

Sure, Kuroo was handsome and he might have had positive points about him but that doesn’t mean Kenma liked him intimately. Hell, they weren’t even close.

Shouyou held up his hands in surrender and Kenma removed his hand from Shouyou’s mouth. He started walking and Shouyou followed him immediately with tons of questions, “Do you like him? How did you meet? Are you even close? Are you aware that he looks like a Grade A player?”

Sighing, Kenma tightened his hand around the strap of his backpack, “I don’t like him and I know he’s a playboy, okay?”

He knew it because he saw Kuroo in action a dozen times in the past weeks.

“But you blushed, my dear potato.” Shouyou said dramatically, extending his hands and almost whacking Kenma’s face.

They reached lobby and Kenma huffed, “That was just a mere expression of my burning hatred for the guy.”

“More like burning passion.” Shouyou laughed as they went over to the parking lot where the other Karasuno players waited. Kenma didn’t reply because he knew arguing with Shouyou was like arguing with a very small and hungry lawyer who will not put up with your shit.

Yacchi went over to them and said, “Hinata, I think your shirt’s backwards.”

Shouyou looked at his chest and so did Kenma. It was indeed backwards and not only that, it was inside out. Kenma didn’t notice it earlier though.

Kageyama laughed out loud and pointed at Shouyou who looked like an apple and immediately removed his shirt and fixed it. Talk about public indecency, “What are you? Twelve?!”

Kenma laughed at that and patted Shouyou’s back in an attempt to console him. Shouyou just shook his head mournfully, “I am an unlucky person.”

Kenma bid them all goodbye as their club’s bus arrived, Shouyou reminded him that he required a ‘full-orientation about Kenma’s “nonexistent” feelings for Kuroo Tetsurou’.

He sighed as he removed his bag and checked his things, making sure all his notes were there for their exam the next day because thankfully he didn’t have another class that day which meant he could finally go home early.

He sighed as he saw that he left his binder in his locker and now he was gonna have to go back and get it. He took out his phone to look at the time and saw that it was still 4pm. He hurriedly went over to the lockers and steered himself towards his.

When he finished the combination and unlocked it, a piece of paper fell to his feet. He frowned, knowing that he never left tiny pieces of paper in his locker.

He crouched down and picked it up, tucking his hair behind his ear and read the simple note, scribbled in a very messy handwriting.

‘Meet me at the third gym’ Was that it? No time and no signature

Kenma flipped the paper over thinking that maybe there was something written behind it. There was none.

 He studied the note for a couple more seconds, thinking to himself whether he should go or not. For all he knew, the person who could’ve sent this may be a cold-blooded killer and was thinking of murdering him inside the gymnasium and hanging him up by the volleyball net for all to see-

Damn it Tooru.

He pocketed the note and took out his binder, placing it inside his bag. He walked down the stairs and he realized that he was going to pass the third gymnasium if he wanted to get to the lobby.

He closed his eyes for a bit and prayed to Jesus or Zeus or Bruce Lee that there wasn’t a murderer lurking inside and was waiting for him by the grills that lead to the gym.

He took a deep breath and walked, he glanced at the gym’s direction and stopped in his tracks.

He saw Kuroo’s figure walking towards the other direction and into the gym. Kenma stared at his back before deciding that maybe he’d be fine if he used the taller man as some sort of weapon against the murderer.

What the heck are you even saying Kenma, he scolded himself.

He sighed and turned towards the gym, walking slowly. As he entered, he saw that it was empty save for Kuroo who sat on one of the chairs with his head down and elbows resting on his knees.

Which could only mean-

Kenma approached him until he was about three meters away.

Suddenly, Kenma was reminded of the way Kuroo acted earlier and thought that maybe he could ask him what that was about.

“Uhm?” Kenma spoke as he stepped forward, his voice resonating around the empty space. Kuroo immediately looked up. His face brightened and he stood up, “You came!”

All thoughts of Kuroo’s previous anger flew out of Kenma’s head when he saw that smile.

“Obviously.” Kenma murmured. Kuroo smiled at him and stopped walking until he was directly in front of Kenma. What does he want now?

Kenma opened his mouth but Kuroo held up a finger and placed it against his lips making his eyes widen, “I know what you’re thinking right now.” Kuroo slouched lazily, his eyes drooping, “”What does this guy want now?”” His voice took a low and flat tone, a poor imitation of Kenma’s voice and so was his expression.

It was kind of cute.

Kenma almost cracked a smile but he bit the inside of his cheek to stop it. He shoved Kuroo’s hand away from his face and asked, “What do you want?”

“Knew it!” Kuroo said enthusiastically, smiling widely. Kenma noticed he had a faint dimple on his left cheek when he did that and his laugh was a bit high and raspy.

Kenma, you wouldn’t want to have your heart broken now would you? a voice in his head warned.

Yeah I know, he replied.

Kenma just looked at Kuroo as he plopped onto the closest chair and patted the one next to it. What.

He sighed and sat down beside him, scooting a bit until only half of his ass was seated, “So?” He asked.

Kuroo rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “I have a proposal.”

The sarcastic joke was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, “You want to get married already?”

Kuroo turned to him in slow motion and Kenma kept a straight face despite wanting to laugh at the unbelieving expression on his face, “What?”

Kenma waved a hand, “I was just kidding.”

Kuroo sighed and slumped back to the seat, “You always put on a straight face, I can’t tell whether you’re joking or not!”

Kenma just turned to look at the volleyball court and did not reply. Kuroo stood up suddenly and went in front of him, “On a serious note, I have a proposal.”

“Yeah, you kinda said that already.” Kenma said blankly. Where was this conversation even going?

Kuroo placed a hand on his chest, “You made a joke so I had to redo it for the sake of dramatics.”

How very surprising.

“Ah shit!” Kuroo ran a hand through his hair, “Imma say it again and you’re supposed to say, ‘What?’” There it was again. That failure of an imitation. Were they in some sort of play?

Kenma bit his lip, preventing his smile, “Go on.”

“Okay, okay.” Kuroo brought his hands up and breathed deeply, “I have a proposal.” He eyed Kenma with a look that said, ‘do not ruin it’

Kenma sighed and gave in, “What?”

Kuroo folded his arms over his chest, “As you know, I’ve asked you a favor-“

“I think you mean you’ve been bothering me.” He said nonchalantly. Kuroo shot him a look before continuing, “-and as you know, you refused to enlighten me with this favor so I will have to ask another favor to cancel out the previous favor which will result to me owing you a favor and the situation ends up in our favor.” Kuroo grinned proudly.

I’m sorry, what?

It took a while for Kenma to register whatever he said.

“Okay-?” Kenma’s voice drawled out as he fiddled with the edge of his sweater and looked up at the man.

Kuroo was clearly not satisfied with his reaction because he pouted, “Say something like ‘woah that was awesome’”

Kenma could not help but roll his eyes, “Woah that was awesome.”

This guy was on another level of ridiculous.

Kuroo squinted his eyes, “I guess that would do.” He smiled, “Anyways~ like I said, I will need a different favor this time.”

“And that is?”

Kuroo grinned, “I’m glad you’re interested.” Kenma was not interested but he kept quiet.

“There’s this charity event this weekend-“ Fuck

“No.” Kenma automatically said and made a move of standing up. No. Nope. He was picking his bag up and flying over to Nopetown.

“Wait, wait!” Kuroo placed a hand on his shoulders and forced him to stay , “Hear me out.”

Kenma shot him a look and remained standing.

Kuroo took this as a sign to go on, “As I was saying, my family and my bro Bokuto’s are holding an event this weekend and it’s for charity. It’s a ball and I need a partner.”

So he need Kenma to find a partner for him? What was he? His personal maid or something?

“You want me to ask Oikawa for you?” Kenma asked. What a pain.

Kuroo’s eyes widened, “No! I want you to be my date.”

Hell has opened up and Satan emerged from the depth to laugh at Kenma

Is this guy even hearing himself?

“Are you shitting with me?” Kenma spoke softly.

Kuroo gasped and placed a hand to his mouth, “Language!”

Kenma sighed and shook his head, “You’re saying that you’ll stop asking me for Oikawa’s number if I go with you to the ball?”

Kuroo crossed his arms  over his chest, “Exactly.”

“Then I’ll give you the damn number.” Kenma said turning around. He’d rather ask for Oikawa’s number and put up with Iwaizumi’s rambling than go to a ball filled with people that were far too rich and far too different.

He didn’t even know why he needed to do a favor for this guy.

“Wait, Kenma.” Kuroo said and grabbed his arm. He experienced this situation a lot whenever Kuroo was around.

He looked back and faced him, “Stop messing with me, okay? If you’re doing this just for the fun of it then stop. It’s not fun at all.”

Kuroo shut his mouth automatically and let go of Kenma’s arm. He cast his eyes downward silently.

 Kenma immediately felt guilty for what he said despite his anger. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Why does it have to be me? You have lots of girls and I’m just someone you’ve known for a little over two weeks.”

Kuroo flinched at that and Kenma’s eyes widened. Did he say something wrong?

Kenma reluctantly placed his hand on Kuroo’s arm and shook him, “Hey.”

Kuroo looked up with a sad smile, “Is it wrong to ask for something you want without a straight reason?”

"What are you talking about?” Kenma asked and let go of Kuroo’s arm. Kuroo suddenly took his hand in his and held it tightly, “I just want it to be you.” He said quietly. Kenma felt the blush creep to his cheeks all of the sudden which he tried hella hard to control.

He was acting really weird and Kenma refused to think of it too much.

“Kuroo, I don’t know what you’re saying but if you really want it then I’ll consider it.” Kenma sighed and forced his hand out of the other man’s, “Even if you have no reason at all, I’ll consider it but if I go-“

Kenma knew he need to say those words and he needed to say them now, “You’ll stop whatever the heck you’re in on.”

He didn’t know why but saying those words hurt him. It was like telling Kuroo to stay away and maybe that was what he meant.

Kuroo frowned, “And by stop, you mean?”

“Stop bothering me.” Kenma closed his eyes, “You’re really confusing, you know?”

“I’m sorry.” Kuroo looked down at his shoes and then looked back up with a smile, “I’ll stop bothering you but we’ll be friends right?!”

Kenma didn’t even know what to say at that point. He was just…confused.

“Of course.” He replied with a sigh, “Just..if you’re playing some game with me then stop.”

Kuroo’s face brightened and gave him a thumbs up, “No worries. I’m not kidding around to be honest.”

Kenma eyed suspiciously and drawled out, “Yeah okay. I’m gonna go now.” Kenma said stepping back and pointing his thumb at the gym doors. Kuroo smiled at him with a wave, “Thanks!”

The faux blonde nodded and walked away, feeling a cloud of anxiety wash over him.

Damn what did he just get himself into?

 

 

 

**Special: Kuroo’s POV (which will probably not happen again for another chapter or two)**

“So how did it go?” Bokuto asked as Kuroo went to the bar and poured himself a drink. He eyed Bokuto who was lying on the couch and resting his head on Akaashi’s lap.

“Fine.” Kuroo answered and sat on the high-chair, leaning his forehead on his fist.

He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore.

“You know you’re just setting yourself up for a heartbreak, don’t you?” Tsukishima stated from the beanbag and reading a novel.

Trust me, I know.

Kuroo knew how much this will fail and how screwed he will be but he didn’t care.

He just wanted Kenma.

He wanted him so much.

“Are you gonna tell him? Because if you don't, shit like earlier is gonna happen a lot.” Bokuto said, his voice muffled by Akaashi’s shirt as he wrapped his arms around him and buried his face on his stomach.

"Yeah. You were being an asshole." Tsukishima said as he flipped his book nonchalantly.

Akaashi snorted and stroked Bokuto's hair with one hand.

Kuroo sighed when he remembered earlier's game. He was just so pissed seeing-

Stop.

There's no need to think about it.

You're just gonna beat yourself up again.

He shut his eyes.

Am I going to tell him?

I don’t know.

“I'm not saying that you should stop or anything but you know, it’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t take to you.” Akaashi chided, flipping through the channels of the plasma TV.

“You guys know I can’t take that.” Kuroo said with a huge breath. He stared at the marble countertop and thought,

_I can’t go on with my life like this_

_Not when the person I’ve loved for almost half my life is finally back._


	5. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey.... this chapter is just..idk  
> Just think of it as a building block for kuroken's lovelife idek

_“So what are you gonna do?”_ Oikawa asked from the other line of the phone. Kenma turned to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling of his room, “I don’t know.”

  _“You know I could give him my number. It’s not a big deal.”_ Oikawa sang, Kenma heard shuffling and faint crackle of static and then, “It’s a big deal.” Iwaizumi’s voice came through sounding gruff.

 _“Give me back my phone, Iwa-chan!”_ Oikawa shrieked. Kenma listened to their banter quietly until Oikawa seemed to have retrieved his phone _, “Hey, Ken-chan? You still there?”_

“Yeah.” He replied quietly.

 _“About my number_ -“ Oikawa started, _“I could give it to him.”_

Kenma thought back to Kuroo’s reactions when he said he’d give him the damned number. He looked like it wasn’t the thing he actually wanted.

“But, he told me he’d rather make me his partner.” He sighed to the receiver.

Oikawa hummed from the other line, “ _Something doesn’t sound right about that guy, tbh.”_

“I know.” Kenma replied and curled in on himself. I’ve known that since day one.

 _“I have a hunch and I think I’m right with this one.”_ Oikawa told him with a laugh, “ _My instincts are usually on point, you know?”_

“What’s that?” Kenma asked, feeling a bit curious.

Oikawa chuckled from the other line _, “I think he’s just using-“_

 _“Shittykawa!”_ Iwaizumi’s voice boomed loudly making Kenma tear his phone from his ear _, “Come to bed already! Pudding-head, you guys can talk tomorrow. It’s late.”_

Kenma looked at his phone and saw that it was already 2am. Shit.

“Alright.” Kenma said, “Goodnight Tooru.”

 _“Let’s talk again some other time, Ken-chan~”_ Tooru sang, “ _Good morning.”_

Kenma dropped the call and stared at the screen for another minute. He groaned when he realized that he won’t be getting much sleep any time soon.

He opened the Facebook app without thinking and saw that he had 9 friend requests.

He opened the notification and scanned the contents. Five of them were from Yaku, Lev, Tora, Shibiyama and Inouka. He accepted all of them without a second thought.

He sighed when he saw the other four requests.

Keiji Akaashi has sent you a friend request. Accepted. He was a cool guy.

He stared at the three other names on the list.

Kei Tsukishima has sent you a friend request. Accepted.

Koutarou Bokuto has sent you a friend request. Accepted.

He glared at the only request left. How many accounts did this guy even have?

He pressed on the account link and it immediately went to Kuroo’s timeline. He stared at his profile picture which he refused to admire even though he wanted to.

Kenma opened it reluctantly.

It was just a picture of Kuroo wearing an all black outfit, black long sleeved shirt that was pulled to the elbows, black skinny jeans and black combat boots.

It looked like he was in some sort of studio, with the white background and a white block seat. He sat in a manly number four, elbows resting on his thigh and chin resting on his fist; looking directly at the camera with a secretive smirk.

Something caught Kenma’s eye when he stared at the picture. Something black peeked from the V of Kuroo’s shirt and Kenma concluded it was some sort of tattoo.

He had a tattoo? Why didn’t I notice that before?

Kenma felt the blush creep to his cheeks and immediately minimized the picture. What the fuck.

He scrolled down and looked at his latest status update.

**Tetsurou Kuroo 1 hour ago**

I miss you

He was probably talking about some girl he’s dating. And Kenma didn’t know why but that kind of felt a bit…painful.

No.

He was about to scroll down when he saw a pop-up from the screen that meant there was a new post.

Kenma pressed the pop-up and saw that it was a video.

**Tetsurou Kuroo is now live.**

Kenma’s eyes widened when he saw a frozen picture of Bokuto smiling. He pressed the play button and the video immediately livestreamed.

 _“Hey hhey hey!”_ Bokuto screamed dopily, pumping his fist and holding the phone close to his face, _“You guys wanna see something cool?!”_

He looked like he was in some sort of hotel or a place that looked like a hotel with yellow fluorescent lighting and fancy furniture in the background.

There were comment pop-ups that mostly showed the other people watching saying yes to his question.

The video started becoming blurry, it cleared and this time it showed Bokuto wrapping an arm around Akaashi who gave a thumbs up after ducking under his boyfriend’s reach, _“This is truly a sight to behold.”_

 _“Will you guys please shut the fuck up?”_ Tsukishima’s voice came from outside the frame.

Bokuto pouted towards his left side and turned back to the camera with a smile, “ _Alright guys, I’m gonna count to three.”_ The lens was covered but Bokuto’s voice still boomed, _“Threeee. Twooooonneeee.”_

The frame cleared and it now showed Kuroo sitting on a beanbag, carrying what looked like three phones in one hand, he looked like he was drunk because he was smiling with heavy-lidded eyes, his cheeks dusted in pink and trying to shove the phone off his face.

 _“Live video of a drunk Kuroo!”_ Bokuto said from outside the frame. Kuroo waved lazily and suddenly stood up. He dropped the objects on the bag and shoved the phone away when Bokuto pressed it close to his face, _“Fuck off, Bo.”_

 _“Aww.”_ Bokuto groaned and continued to follow Kuroo who went over to a counter and took a bottle of what looked like bourbon, yanked the lid off and chugged down two huge gulps.

Kenma frowned at that. He looked like he was drunk as it is and now he was drinking more?

“ _We are currently seeing a live documentary of a heartbroken panther.”_ Bokuto’s voice took on the tone and voice of some sort of English Animal Planet host or something.

“ _Why is the lad heartbroken you ask?”_ Bokuto said with a whisper and followed Kuroo who wobbled in his steps and actually bumped into a cabinet, he staggered a bit and looked at the cabinet saying,” _Sorry miss.”_

Kenma tried to contain his growing concern. Why were they letting him drink this much? He clearly looked beyond tipsy.

Bokuto laughed out loud before continuing, _“You see this fellow here is a victim of love sickness.”_

Kenma jumped on his bed and almost dropped his phone when he heard Kuroo scream and lift the bottle in his hand, _“A SICKNESS THAT CAN ONLY BE CURED BY-“_ He was cut off when Akaashi bolted towards him and placed a hand over his mouth.

 _“As you can see, the mother owl is protecting her baby cub.”_ Bokuto whispered, still sticking to his character

Kenma frowned out of curiousity. So, Kuroo was in love huh? He didn’t know why he suddenly felt a bit defeated.

Akaashi glared at Bokuto as he shoved Kuroo away, making Bokuto whimper,“ _Bloody hell. And now the mother owl is glaring at the cute baby owl.”_

The camera was now turned towards Bokuto’s face, _“And the cute baby owl is in trouble. Byee guys!”_

 The video ended and Kenma continued to stare at the black screen of his phone.

That was..something.

He sighed and shut his phone off, placing it on his nightstand with a bit more force than needed.

Kenma groaned and rubbed a hand over his face, thinking about how fucked he was.

He felt a dull throb in his heart like something was being torn slowly but damn well surely.

*****

“Kenma?”

_“Kenma?”_

“KENMA!”

Kenma snapped his head to the side after tearing himself away from his whirling thoughts, “What?”

Inuoka frowned at him, “You looked really deep in thought.”

Sighing, Kenma looked over at the laptop screen he was previously staring at. He had no particular idea what he was thinking about when he spaced out but he knew that it consisted of a whole lot of Kuroo.

“We’re almost done.” He implied as he scrolled through the document. Their story was pretty okay, the plot was just those random and hopeless romantic thoughts that came from Inuoka which he decided to humor.

Inuoka smiled, “Yeah. A thousand more words and we’ll be done.”

Kenma huffed and gave the laptop to Inuoka, “Put some adverbs on lines that would fit them.”

“Yes sir.” Inuoka happily typed on the laptop, pausing once or twice to think of a descriptive word.

Kenma buried his head on his arms and groaned internally. He was so tired, his head hurt and he felt sick.

He got about four hours of sleep before his alarm clock started raping his ears.

Kenma had a really weak immune system so almost anything could affect his well-being.

This was all Kuroo’s fault.

In fact, everything remotely out of place in his life for the past three weeks was Kuroo’s fault.

“Hey, Kenma?” Inuoka spoke from the chair beside his. Kenma didn’t look up, instead he just said, “What?”

“You look pretty tired.” Inuoka stated as he seemed to still be typing on the keyboard, “Why don’t you take a quick nap or something? We’ve still got an hour left in class and I can do all the work from here on out.”

Kenma changed his mind about Akaashi being the only person other than his friends whom he liked.

“Thanks.” He murmured and shut his eyes tightly, the sound of Inuoka’s faint tap on the keys lulling him to sleep.

*****

“Hey.” The world was shaking, was there an earthquake?

“Hey, Kenma?”  The shaking stopped. Kenma cracked his eyelids open and found himself staring at the desk of his chair. He lifted his head up and rubbed his eyes, “Wha-?”

He looked up and saw Kuroo grinning down at him.

Oh shit.

Kenma discreetly tried to wipe off the non-existent drool from his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater.

 “Hi.” Kuroo said plainly.

The words were out of his mouth before he could even stop them, “Aren’t you supposed to be nursing a hangover?”

Kuroo frowned and tilted his head in question, “What?” Kenma proceeded to stare up at him until realization dawned on Kuroo’s face, “You mean-?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m kinda used to those…stuff.” Kuroo said sheepishly and shoved his hands inside the pockets of his leather jacket.

Kenma might have sneaked a peak at the faint blank line that came from under the Vof his white shirt.

He nodded and looked away, taking out his phone, he saw that it was already 12pm. He slept past his class and there seemed to be nobody else in the classroom other than them.

He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder, wobbling a bit because of the dizziness he felt. His head hurt so much and his nose was starting feel a bit runny.

 Kuroo caught his arm and helped him upright, “You okay?”

Kenma nodded and steadied himself, “Yeah. Just tired.”

Kuroo frowned as he let go of his arm, “You look tired. You must have slept late since you saw that video.”

“I guess.” Kenma turned towards the door and walked. Kuroo followed him quietly.

Kenma decided to strike up a conversation, “You were pretty drunk last night, huh?”

“Yeah, about that.” Kuroo drawled out, falling into step, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Kenma looked up with a frown. Kuroo stared ahead at the corridor, “Nothing.”

And there goes Kenma’s curiosity, flying off in every direction.

Kenma nodded and spoke again as they turned the corner, “Why were you in the classroom anyway?”

Kuroo huffed, “I looked for you in the cafeteria, you weren’t there. And the kid Inuoka told me he let you sleep inside the classroom. He said you were sick.” Kuroo’s voice took a concerned tone on the last sentence.

“I’m fine.” Kenma said but he knew he wasn’t. His head temples were throbbing and his nape felt too warm for comfort.

“I know you’re not.” Kuroo said sternly and took his hand, “Come on. I’m taking you to the clinic.”

Kenma tried to wrench his hand off by anchoring his feet, “What? No!”

Kuroo didn’t even budge.

He sighed and turned towards Kenma with an exasperated look, “You look tired and you haven’t eaten lunch. You’re pale and I’m pretty sure you need to sleep.”

“I can do those things in the cafeteria or library or something.” Kenma murmured, he looked at the floor and fiddled with his shirt.

“Not on my watch, you’re not.” Kuroo simply said, “Come on, Kenma please.” The man gave him a ridiculous pout.

“Are you kidding me?” He murmured under his breath and wrenched his hand off Kuroo’s. He walked past the guy with angry strides despite his wavering steps.

Suddenly he felt an arm under his knees and around his shoulders and the world tilted.

“What the-“ Kenma felt himself being lifted off the ground and the next thing he knew, Kuroo was carrying him bridal style. He blushed furiously at that and tried to hide the fact with his long hair.

“What are you doing?! Put me down!” Kenma hissed at the guy who just grinned at him and resumed walking, “You shouldn’t be walking by yourself. I’ve noticed since earlier you were wobbling.”

“That doesn’t mean you can lift people up without permission!” He seethed and tried to worm his way out of Kuroo’s grip.

“I’m not lifting people up, I’m lifting you.” Kuroo stated as a matter-of-factly and Kenma didn’t know why but despite how plain the words were and how obvious they were, he felt his pulse quicken and he turned away.

“People could see us you know?” Kenma said automatically as he looked around the empty corridor. He was sure that the corridors wouldn’t stay empty at all.

“So what?” Kuroo asked sharply. Kenma frowned, “Uhm, people could bullshit me again.”

Kuroo frowned too and said, “I’m sorry for before but I won’t let that happen this time around.”

Holy shit. Kenma’s heart was beating so fast, he felt it banging painfully against his ribcage.

“Okay.” He whispered and curled into himself as they neared the clinic after receiving several glances from students.

Don’t mind it, Kenma. Don’t mind it. Don’t.

Kuroo steered himself towards the clinic and didn’t stop in the common room where a nurse stood gaping. He went inside the private lounge where teachers or VIP stayed if they needed to.

It looked almost like a hotel room except that it had trays of medicine and the walls were painted a faint flesh color.

Kuroo settled him on the bed and smiled after taking a bottle of water and handing it to Kenma, “I already ordered some food but in the meantime, why don’t you rest?”

Kenma accepted the bottle and took a quick swig that accidentally made his head spin as he steadied his vision.

He stared at Kuroo’s back where he went through the trays of medicine from the bed and said after nodding, “Why are you doing this?”

Turning slowly, Kuroo gave him a warm smile, “Do I really need a reason?”

“I do.” Kenma said as he settled himself on the bed, “You don’t think I’d just let all of this slide, do you?”

Kuroo sat on the foot of the bed and placed the blanket over his legs, “It’s because I want to.”

“Do you do this for everyone?”

He needed answers. Kenma was just an ordinary person in this hugeass university but why was Kuroo giving him so much attention?

He already crossed out Oikawa as a reason.

And sure, he also considered it being some kind of yearly ritual where he’d choose a freshman to mess with but the sincerity on Kuroo’s face was something you can’t easily fake.

Kuroo  frowned deeply and ran a hand through his hair, he then said sharply, “Stop comparing yourself to other people.”

“I’m not!” Kenma argued and tried to sit up but he felt the world spin when he did that so he settled back down and then repeated silently, “I’m not.”

Kuroo breathed in sharply and looked down, “You’re different. You’re…”

“I’m what?” Kenma asked feeling a bit bolder, “Pathetic? I’m different in a laughable way?” He couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to.

Kuroo suddenly punched the mattress ,startling Kenma.

He growled, “No! Just stop, okay? I don’t wanna talk about this.” He stood up and turned around, “I’m sorry. Just rest, I’m gonna check if the food’s there already.”

Kenma didn’t reply, instead he just stared at man’s retreating figure.

What the hell was going on?

Why was Kuroo acting so weird? Was this his usual personality?

He turned to his side and curled in on himself.

Usually, Kenma had a good grasp of the situation and knew what to do when push came to shove but now, for the first time in a very long time, he had no clue what was going on.

He dozed off after trying to fight off the way his throat tightened painfully and his eyes burned with unshed tears.

*****

Kenma ate the food that the nurse brought in for him.

 Apparently, Kuroo told her to do so and left.

It frustrated Kenma. It hurt him.

But he masked his emotion when the said nurse smiled at him carrying an array of food. What surprised him though was the whole pie dish and a huge cup of milk tea.

Kuroo really did order this for him.

When he was done eating, he felt a bit better despite the hollowness of his emotions.

“You can go home early today, Kozume.” The nursed said as she was finished checking his temperature and gave him a tablet, “Mr. Tetsurou already talked to your professors and you’re good to go.”

Wait, Kuroo spoke to his professors?

Well it must’ve been possible with the power he had over them.

Kenma nodded and slung his legs over the bed as the nurse made her way outside. She stopped when she reached the threshold, “Can I ask you a question?”

He stared at her questioningly, “Yeah?”

“Are you…dating?” The nurse blushed when she asked that. Damn it Kuroo.

“No.” Kenma said plainly and turned to the side to avoid his burning face being seen. The nurse nodded, “I figured you were since I’ve never seen Mr. Kuroo do these things for other people.” The nurse hurried outside leaving Kenma with a huge question,

“What the fuck?”

He went home feeling empty, more so than usual. He plopped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling.

Kuroo just left without saying a word and that pissed him off. He didn’t even understand why it irked him so much.

He was startled when his phone rang loudly. He immediately took it outside his bag and saw that it was a call from Yaku.

He swiped and answered, “Yaku?”

“Kenma.” Kuroo’s deep and raspy voice came from the other side. Kenma’s eyes widened and took the phone from his ear and read the caller ID to make sure he wasn’t going crazy.

He brought it back to his ear, “Kuroo? Why do you have Yaku’s phone?”

Static came from the other end and Yaku barked out, “This guy here wanted your phone number but like the awesome friend that I am, I didn’t give it to him.”

Kenma was so thankful to the universe for creating a person like Yaku.

“Okay?” He drawled out. There was shuffling and, “You bring my phone back after that, ayt?”

A sound of a door closing came and then Kuroo spoke again, “Kenma?”

“Yeah.” He said plainly. Why did he ask for his phone number and why was he speaking to him.

“Did you get home safely?” Kuroo asked. Bokuto’s voice suddenly boomed, “So damn whipped-“ Although it was muffled almost automatically, “You’re one to talk, Bo.”

Kenma decided to ignore Bokuto’s words and replied, “Yeah.”

Kuroo sighed in relief, “Good.” There was a moment of silence and then, “Kenma, I’m sorry-“

“It’s fine.” He cut him off sternly and his hand tightened on the phone, “You’ve been apologizing a lot.”

“Because I’ve been a dick a lot.” Kuroo answered.

Kenma snorted, “Stop being so honest.”

“I’m gonna forget you said that but-“

“Like I said, it’s fine.” It was not fine, “You don’t owe me anything but you will after I go to the damned ball.” Kenma’s words flowed without avail and he cursed himself for what he said.

“You’ll go?!” Kuroo exclaimed making Kenma wince. There went the serious talk.

“Yeah.” Kenma replied with a sigh, “It’s tomorrow, right?”

“Yep!” Kuroo said enthusiastically, “At 7pm.”

“Alright.” He replied. He already accepted his fate and there was no turning back now.

“Thanks, kitten.” There was that nickname again.

“Kitten?” Kenma finally asked.

“Uhm-because, because you’re a-adorable like a kitten. Ye-yeah.” Kuroo stammered and Kenma bit his lip to contain his laughter.

“WHAT? HAHAH-“ Bokuto’s voice came again and he was laughing out loud.

There was faint bang of drums and a sound of a book being thrown and then, “Akaashi please clean this shit up.”

“Nice save, Kuroo.” Akaashi said plainly from the background. Tsukishima spoke too, “Smooth as silk.”

“Fuck you guys.” Kuroo hissed and Kenma figured that they were probably hanging out in one of their VIP rooms or something, “I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s fine.” Kenma said quietly and drawled, “So-“

“See you tomorrow then?” Kuroo asked in a whisper, his deep voice ringing in Kenma’s head.

“Alright. Bye.” Kenma said. He heard Kuroo chuckle, “Bye, kitten. Take good care of yourself alright?”

“Okay.” He whispered.

“Good.” Kuroo commented enthusiastically.

Kenma dropped the call and stared at the screen. He frowned to himself as he felt astrange yet familiar warmth spread throughout his heart.

He knew Kuroo was in love and a part of him hoped he wasn’t because if he was, he doubted that those feelings were directed to him.

And then suddenly, a familiar voice whispered inside his head, _‘I want it to be you’_

It was too late now.

Kuroo has made his way inside the part of his heart where he’d never once opened for anyone.

It was stupid.

He was falling.

And he was falling hard.


	6. Anxious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the calm before the storm that will happen in the next chapter..and the chapter after that...and the chapter after the chapter after that. wait what  
> I'm sorry this sucks idk what but i kind of rushed this since i still got some school work left and i needed to bring my A game for dem A grades :D i hope you enjoy it though

 “What?”

Kenma fiddled with his phone as he spoke to his parents, “I got invited to a ball. It’s a charity event by the Nekoma and Fukurodani group of companies.”

“Who invited you?” His mother spoke slowly like she was waiting for something.

“A guy named Kuroo.” He answered. He noticed the distressed look his mother sent his father which made him ask, “What? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong son.” His father said immediately, leaning forward, “Are you sure about this?”

He was not sure at all but he still said, “I’m sure.”

“Alright.”, his mother said as she pointed a spoon at him and squinted her eyes jokingly, “But you need to tell us who this Kuroo is.”

Kenma almost blushed but he kept a straight face, “Just this guy from uni.”

“How did you meet?” His father said after clearing his throat loudly.

“I don’t-“ Kenma cut himself off and shoved a spoon inside his mouth as an excuse.

It didn’t work though since his parents just looked at him expectantly.

He dropped his spoon and sighed, “He’s just a schoolmate.”

“What’s his full name?” His mother asked.

“Kuroo Tetsurou. Their family co-owns the entire university.” Kenma explained. His mother choked on her food and he immediately handed her a glass of water. She smiled after coughing, “Went down wrong.”

“And you’re going to an event with this guy?” His father gave him a confused look, “Can you take it? All those people?”

That kind of pissed Kenma off but he reminded himself that it was just a question out of concern, “Yeah.”

““Well, if you’re okay with it then we are too.” His mother said as she stood up and took the plates. She turned to Kenma with a smile and kissed the top of his head.

Kenma lifted his lips and stood up. He bid goodnight to his parents and went towards his bedroom where his mind was set on getting back the hours of sleep he lost the previous night.

*****

Kenma woke up to the sound of his mother’s voice calling out to him, “Sweetie? You have a delivery.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, what time was it already? He glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was already 3pm. He slept in.

He groaned and went over to the door, wondering what the heck was delivered to him. Maybe it was a bomb.

His subconscious gasped dramatically at the thought. Jeez.

As he opened the door, his mother handed him a huge, red rectangular box with a post-it that had, ‘Kozume Kenma’ printed on it in black swirls.

He looked at his mother who was smiling sadly before trying to brighten up. Kenma frowned at that but paid it no mind and asked, “Who was this from?”

“I don’t know.” His mother smiled sweet. Kenma squinted his eyes suspiciously which made his mother put her hands up in a placating gesture, “I swear. I didn’t open it.”

Kenma  chuckled at that, “Alright mom. Thanks.”

His mother brightened up and called out as she hurried away, “Come down and you can eat.”

Kenma closed the door and stared at the huge box. He placed it on the bed and stared at it for a whole minute. He sighed and decided to open it.

His eyes widened when he saw the three-piece suit and a single dark red bowtie. The suit jacket was black, there was a white dress shirt and black slacks.

A brand name was embroidered by the collar but he ignored it.

On top of all that was a small folded piece of paper, he took it and saw that there was a note written in a very messy handwriting,

_‘Kenma, wear this tonight._

_I’ll pick you up by 6pm. Can’t wait to see you_ _J_

_(this feels like prom or something but don’t sass me)_

_-Kuroo Tetsurou \\(w_-)/_

Kenma couldn’t help the smile that crept to his face as he read the note.

He felt like he was in some sort of chick flick but despite that, he decided to humor himself.

“Damn.” He murmured as he propped himself on the bed and stared at the door.

He felt really weird but a good kind of weird, where his heart beat with both concern and excitement.  What the hell.

He immediately took his phone from his nightstand and decided to call Shouyou. He picked up after the third ring, _“Kenma!”_ Shouyou screamed.

Kenma was used to it now so he didn’t even flinch, “Shouyou, I need your help.”

_“What is it? What do you need?”_ Shouyou turned serious at that. Kenma sighed and ran a hand through his face, “It’s Kuroo.”

_“What about him? Want me to beat him up?”_ Shouyou asked. Kenma smiled at his friend’s enthusiasm, “No. It’s, he’s confusing me.”

_“And by confusing you mean-?”_ Shouyou drawled out as if he was waiting for something.

“I don’t know.” Kenma murmured and laid on his back., “I’m going to an event- a ball, with him today and I- I don’t know.” He stammered as he tried to organize his thoughts.

“ _You’re going to a ball with him—AS HIS DATE?!”_ Shouyou asked a bit too excitedly, “ _Omg.”_

“Yeahh.” Kenma huffed, “And I don’t know, it’s making me feel kind of nervous but kind of also a bit excited.” He said honestly

He heard a sharp intake of breath, _“Waiiiit, don’t tell me you’re-“_ Shouyou said before he started shouting incoherent noises. Kenma’s eyes widened in horror. He was not ready to hear the words.

_“KEnmA?!”_ Shouyou shouted, “ _Don’t tell me you’re in lo-“_

Kenma viciously pressed the end button. No. He was not that.

But perhaps he was getting there.

He dropped his phone on his face when it rang all of the sudden. He groaned in pain and took note of how that was the 20th time that happened to him his entire life.

He accepted the call that he already expected from Shouyou, “No.” He said automatically.

Shouyou barked out a laugh, _“You’re so defensive, tbh.”_

“Because I’m not.” He answered defensively. Sure he wasn’t.

 Shouyou wheezed from the other line, _“Oh my God.”_

“Damn it, you’re not helping.” He murmured.

_“Wait- hold on. Oikawa needs to hear this.”_ Shouyou said all of the sudden and then after a minute, Tooru’s voice joined, _“Hellooo my precious love children.”_

_“Ew gross. Don’t say that.”_ Shouyou chided, _“Anywhoo- guess who’s smitten?”_

_“Ohh--ohhh-“_ Tooru said immediately, _“I know, I know!”_

Kenma listened to them, biting his lip to prevent the laugh wanting to escape his lips.

These children.

_“Yes ,you bespectacled brown haired man, take a guess!”_   Shouyou said and Kenma could almost picture him pointing exaggeratedly at thin air.

_“Kenma! Kenma is smitten!”_ Tooru stated loudly.

_“Ding ding! We have a winner!”_  Shouyou laughed out loud.

Times like these confirmed the fact that Kenma was the only sane person in his circle of friends, “Will you guys please stop.”

_“Aww~ smittenness made you grumpier.”_  Shouyou whined, no doubt pouting.

_“That word does not exist my dear son.”_ Tooru said before saying, _“So in all seriousness, what’s the deal with you and bedhead-kun?”_

Bedhead..kun?

“Nothing. Nothing’s the deal.” Kenma breathed out, “I’m not..smitten.” He kind of was actually.

_“Oh?”_ Shouyou asked and then teased, _“But earlier you said you didn’t know what to do and that you were confused.”_

_“Sounds pretty smitten to me.”_ Tooru replied.

Kenma sighed. He didn’t know what he expected to get out of these two.

_“Ken-chan, you need to lighten up_.” Tooru suggested, _“You keep thinking things through, trying to figure out what you feel and all. Maybe you need to be more open to things and open to..feelings.”_

Kenma scrunched his nose at that.

He was not over-thinking.

At least, that’s what he thinks.

And feelings? What’s a feeling?

Kidding.

Shouyou snorted, _“Like you’re one to talk, Great King.”_

Tooru laughed, “ _At least I know when to let the stick in my ass go.”_

_“And you get another stick in return, eh?”_ Shouyou might have been wiggling his eyebrows by the sound of his voice.

Kenma sighed for the hundredth time, “I just need you guys to..tell me what to do.”

Both lines went quiet for a while before Tooru spoke, _“Don’t do anything, that’s what you should do.”_

_“He’s right, you know.”_ Shouyou replied.

“That’s physically impossible.” Kenma stated simply.

_“You and your literal shit._ ” Tooru murmured, clearly done with his shit, _“Just let loose you know and go with the flow.”_

Maybe he should do those things.

_“Let loose he says._ ” Shouyou snickered.

Kenma blushed at that. Jeez.

For such an innocent looking guy, Shouyou was one hell of a pervert.

_“For fuck’s- Shouyou! Nobody has time for your innuendo.”_ Tooru screeched.

“ _Everyone has time for that. You certainly do.”_

“Will you please just-- stop?!”

On the same line someone (iwa) said, _”Shittykawa why the fuck are you shouting like a goddamn pelican?!”_

_“Pelicans don’t shout, Iwa-chan!”_

Kenma smiled at their banter and said, “Alright guys, thanks for your..suggestions.”

_“No problem!”_ Shouyou and Tooru said in unison. Tooru spoke again, _“Just remember, being carefree and being reckless are two different things……that goes for you too chibi.”_

_“Rude!”_

Kenma placed a hand over his mouth and snorted. These people were insane.

He huffed and replied, “Alright. Thanks, I have to go.”

_“Bye-bye!”_ Shouyou bode. Tooru just laughed and Kenma ended the call.

He looked back at the clothes on his bed and sighed.

He was screwed.

*****

They fit.

That was the first thought that crossed Kenma’s mind as he stared at himself from the full-body mirror. Everything Kuroo brought for him fit a bit better than most of his clothes.

Damn him.

He adjusted his bowtie and then ran a hand through his long hair.

I look okay, he thought. There were fortunately no bags under his eyes but he still had the same pale white complexion that made him look like a single sheet of paper.

Tooru always complained about it and whined about how jealous he was of Kenma’s doll-like look from his huge gold eyes down to his white skin but he always thought that being like that was a major minus in his appearance department.

There’s nothing I can do about that now, he thought. Maybe he should shove his face in front of an AC or pinch his cheeks.

The door to his room suddenly opened- “Sweetie are you-“

He looked at his mother who stopped in her tracks, “Kenma, you look handsome!”

Kenma coughed at that. He was not handsome. He was average.

But it’s not like he believed her though, “You’re my mom, you’re obliged to say that.”

His mother approached him with a huge smile, “No. This does not involve bias. You look good, sweetheart.”

Kenma turned to the mirror again with a tilt of his head, “I don’t know.”

“You are.” His mother whispered as she stood beside him, her face suddenly morphing into a pout and then the next thing he knew, his mother was crying.

“Mom!” Kenma turned towards her as she bawled her eyes out. His mother laughed despite her tears, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just-“ His mother sobbed and rubbed her eyes, “I remembered the time when we almost lost you.”

Kenma frowned at that. He too remembered it.

He remembered it every single day but as time went on, his mind coped with the thought of it and now he was not a stranger to those memories.

Kenma placed his hand over hers as she ducked behind her black hair with a few gray stands, “You didn’t lose me, mom. That’s what matters.”

His mother looked up at him since he’d grown a bit and now he was almost a head taller. Her golden eyes, much like his were reddened, “You take care of yourself, okay?”

“You say that all the time mom.” Kenma whispered as he let go of her hand and looked away. It was painful seeing his mom like that.

“I’m sorry.” His mother tried to laugh as she wiped her tears, “You can go down now. Your date will probably be here in a minute.”

As if on cue, their doorbell rang loudly. Kenma chanced a look at the clock and saw that it was exactly six o’clock. His mother turned to him with a smile. Kenma returned it and said, “I’m gonna go down in a bit. I just need-“

“Your phone. Got it.” His mother chuckled at that and walked away, “I’ll get the door for you.”

Kenma nodded despite knowing that his mother could probably not see him.

He stared back at himself and started to feel panicked. What if he screws up tonight? What if Kuroo was just messing with him about the date?

What if he was laughing right now knowing Kenma had fallen for his ploy?

Kenma shook the thoughts out of his head and agreed to himself that if his suspicions were true, he would land a firm punch on Kuroo’s balls.

He breathed deeply and said, “You can do this.”

He turned away after taking the phone he charged earlier and pocketed it. He ran a hand through his hair and whispered again, “You. Can. Fucking. Do. This.”

He cracked his knuckles to hopefully relieve the anxiety he felt as he went down the stairs.

His eyes widened when he saw Kuroo sitting on their living room couch. He looked so out of place with his dark look in the midst of all the bright colored cushions.

But damn, was he hot.

Kenma’s breath hitched as he reached the last step and Kuroo looked up at him. The tall man immediately stood up, revealing the full extent of his outfit.

He was wearing a suit with the same design as Kenma’s and the only difference was that he wore a dark red button down and a black undone necktie hanging from his neck.

His hair looked like he tried to style it but failed miserably as it was back to its usual form.

Kenma stopped gaping as Kuroo went towards him and it was then that he realized he was carrying a bouquet of red roses.

Holy shit.

Kenma’s heart shot to his throat when he noticed how nervous Kuroo looked. It was such a far cry from his usual confident personality.

“Uh-“ Kenma started, not really knowing what to say. He might have seen both his parents from his peripheral vision as they took a peek at them from the kitchen door.

“Kenma-“ Kuroo said, his hand shaking on the bouquet. He looked so nervous it was cute.

Kuroo stared at him openly, “You look..beautiful.”

Kenma almost gasped when he heard the word. He’s never been called beautiful before.

“Thanks.” He whispered and averted his eyes from Kuroo’s, “You don’t look pretty bad yourself.”

Kuroo laughed at that, “You have a way with words that just makes my heart swell.”

“Hopefully in a bad way.” Kenma joked with an indifferent look.

Kuroo grinned at him, “Sorry to crush your hopes but no.” The tall man looked at the bouquet in his hand and offered it to Kenma, “Here.”

Kenma blushed at that. Damn. He tried to keep a straight face as he accepted it, “Why the bouquet?”

Kuroo rubbed the back of his head and smiled sheepishly, “Yeah it was already like prom so I thought, why not take it to the extremes?”

He snorted at that and tightened his hand on the bouquet, “Thank you.”

“No, I should be thanking you.” Kuroo said softly before smiling, “We should get going.”

Kenma’s heart was going wild at that point but he managed to say, “Okay.” He turned to look at his parents whose eyes were peeking from behind the door, “You can come out now.” He called out.

Both his parents stepped out and went towards them. Kenma realized he hadn’t introduced them to Kuroo so he said, “Mom, Dad, this is-“

“Kuroo Tetsurou.” His father cut him off and nodded at Kuroo’s direction, “I’ve had a chance to meet him earlier while you were upstairs.”

Kenma raised his eyebrow and turned to Kuroo who was still staring at his dad with a slight frown. He seemed to have noticed Kenma looking his way so he turned and gave him a smile, “I’ve already introduced myself.”

“Great.” Kenma murmured. He turned to look at his parents, “We’re gonna go now.”

His parents both nodded although briefly. Kuroo nodded at them, “Thank you for allowing your son to join me, Mr and Mrs Kozume.”

“It’s fine.” Kenma didn’t miss the faint dip in his mother’s voice as she said that.

Kuroo nodded his head respectfully and turned around, so did Kenma. When they reached the threshold his father spoke again sternly, “Tetsurou.”

“I know, sir.” Kuroo said without looking back. Kenma stared at the tall man and then at his father. What the heck was that about?

“What was-?” Kenma cut himself off and drawled the last word. Kuroo chuckled and looked at him as they walked down the driveway to where Kuroo’s car was, “Just parental warning.”

Excuse me?

“What?” Kenma asked softly as he continued to look at Kuroo. The man sighed, “He told me that if anything happened to you, he’d have my balls.”

Kenma covered his mouth and nose before snorting loudly.

If anything were to happen to Kenma, he’d take Kuroo’s balls himself.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh at the victim.” Kuroo said waving his hand dismissively but still smiling. Kenma just shook his head disbelievingly.

As they reached the car, Kenma immediately went to the front passenger seat and made a move of opening it before, “ _Woah, woah, woah, woah._ Uh- no.” Kuroo was holding an arm out to distance him from the door.

Kenma just raised an eyebrow at that but Kuroo gave him a gentle smile, “I told you this would be like prom, right?”

“And?” He still did not get it.

Kenma almost laughed at the thought of his mind kind of not functioning when Kuroo was added into the equation.

Kuroo shook his head, “Tsk. A date opens the car door for his date of course.” He opened the door dramatically and holding a hand out, “Milady.”

Did he just-

“Milady? Are you kidding me?” Kenma asked but his lips were tilted upwards. Kuroo just shrugged, “I see these on movies a lot.”

“Makes you sound like a butler.” Kenma commented and stepped inside, closing the door himself.

He remembered to place the seatbelt on to avoid any unwanted romcom events.

He stared at the driveway and saw Kuroo, well, a part of Kuroo in the corner of his eye, bouncing on the balls of his feet like he was in need of a toilet.

He followed Kuroo with his eyes as he went around the car and stepped inside, “For the record, I do not sound like a butler.”

He noticed the glance Kuroo sent to his chest, probably checking for his seatbelt.

“Sure you do.” Kenma commented, crossing his hands over his chest.

Kuroo laughed as he started the car, “Why are you so mean to me?”

“Your ego does not need further cultivation.” Kenma stated. Well, in reality, being mean was sort of like his defense mechanism when he felt something out of the norm especially for one person.

And he knew that those itty-bitty romantic feelings he was developing were pretty out of the norm.

“Ouch.” Kuroo stated with emotions and all.

Kenma didn’t reply and just stared at him as they drove through the darkening city streets.

He decided that it was the perfect time for him to ask the question that had been bothering him ever since Kuroo told him about the ball, “Why me?”

Kuroo suddenly stepped on the brakes a bit too early but continued driving after a moment of complete silence, “What do you mean?” He asked Kenma.

“It means what it means.” Kenma replied lowly and stared at the road before looking back at Kuroo who ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know how to answer that.”

“Just tell me, Kuroo.” He pushed on. Kuroo shook his head sternly before looking at him as they stopped on a red light, “I don’t want to talk about it, kitten.”

“But I want to.” He said immediately after wringing his hands together and staring at them.

He wanted to know. He wanted to know so bad.

“Please.”

The word startled him. It was so, sincere.

Kenma looked up at him, “What?”

“Please just drop this, Kenma.” Kuroo begged and clenched his hand on the steering wheel, “I’ll talk about it eventually.”

“Then tell me now.” He was taking it too far but he needed answers.

Kuroo sighed, “I will. I’ll tell you but just…not now.”

“Alright then.” Kenma replied and tried not to sulk. He was reminded of Tooru and Shouyou, and how they both wanted him to try and not be too uptight.

I’ll try.

Kuroo suddenly gave him a brief glance, “Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” Kenma gave a sincere smile as Kuroo stared at him for a bit before smiling too and looking back at the road.

Kenma stared at him. Actually, stared at him.

He looked at his face- his pointed nose, his pale white skin, his lips and the chisel of his jawline.

His eyes that were staring ahead at the road with a faint sadness.

He was beautiful.

Kenma wondered if he’d seen this sort of beauty before since it felt so familiar to him.

He shook his head at that and looked ahead.

 He was just over-thinking.

*****

“We’re here.” Kuroo announced after almost half an hour of driving. Kenma looked at the house where Kuroo turned his car to and almost gaped. It was one hugeass house. No, it wasn’t a house, it was a fucking castle.

Well, a modern castle.

Alright, maybe a mansion. Or something.

“Is this your house?” Kenma asked dumbly as they entered the gates that were immediately opened for them.

“Yeah.” Kuroo said simply as he parked his car in front of the house and its huge marble staircase.

Kenma nodded and looked around. The courtyard was already full of cars and the double doors of the house itself were opened widely, showing the amount of people inside.

They all wore extravagant gowns and tuxes and it made him feel conscious of himself.

Kenma suddenly felt a jolt of panic as he looked at them conversing and laughing with each other.

How was he even gonna get through all of this.

“Hey. You okay?” Kuroo asked, his body turned towards him. Kenma sighed, “I’m okay.”

Just this once, Kenma. Get rid of all the bullshit that comes with your personality.

Kuroo smiled, “Alright then. Let’s go.” He said enthusiastically before turning around again, “And don’t come out yet.”

Kenma rolled his eyes at that, “Yeah, yeah. Door.”

Kuroo laughed as he stepped out of the car. Kenma wringed his hands together and prayed that nothing embarrassing happens to him that night.

Kuroo went around and opened the door for him. He stepped out reluctantly and eyed the surroundings.

Shit.

People were staring at them.

Some were whispering.

Kenma ducked his head at that feeling too conscious to even show his own face. Suddenly, a hand went to his chin and forced him to look up.

He met Kuroo’s brooding eyes and felt his face heat up despite the cold night breeze.

“What they say doesn’t matter, okay?” Kuroo told him sternly, his hand still on Kenma’s cheek.

“Okay.” Kenma said, not really knowing what to say. Kuroo dropped his hand and huffed, “Alrighty then. Let’s go.”

Kenma nodded before spotting the tie around Kuroo’s neck, “Hey.” He said and pulled at the sleeve of Kuroo’s jacket as he was turning around, “Your tie.”

Kuroo looked down at his chest and smiled sheepishly, “Yeah. I’ll probably never learn to knot these things.”

Kenma suddenly felt a burst of confidence. He stepped forward and tugged at the two edges, forcing Kuroo to slouch and make it easier for him to adjust.

He knotted the tie with precision. Something he learned from Tooru who was strict about things like that.

He tapped Kuroo’s chest, “There.”

Kuroo still didn’t reply when he said that so he looked up, “What-?”

The man was staring at him with a slackened jaw.

Kenma frowned at that and asked, “Is there something wrong?”

Kuroo blinked and cleared his throat, “Uhm, nothing. Thanks.”

Kenma raised an eyebrow questioningly but decided to drop it.

“Let’s go?” Kuroo said with a small smile. Kenma sighed and then nodded, “Let’s go.”

They entered the house together and Kenma saw how huge the entire place was. It looked like a hall with several tables pushed to sides to make space for a dancefloor and classical music playing softly.

 Kenma felt his anxiety grow as almost everyone turned towards them. Ah shit.

“Hey hey hey! Bro!” Bokuto bounded towards them wearing a tux and regular skinny jeans, dragging Akaashi by the arm who like he didn’t even want to be there.

“Bro!” Kuroo exclaimed and bumped his fist with Bokuto. He suddenly turned to Kenma, “Bokuto, Akaashi, this is-“

“Kenma!” Bokuto exclaimed and held out a hand, “So nice to finally meet you!”

Kenma looked at Kuroo who shrugged apologetically before accepting his hand, “Uh-yeah.”

“And this is Akaashi.” Bokuto pointed enthusiastically at the man beside him. Kenma looked at Akaashi and nodded, “I’ve met him already.”

“You have?!” Bokuto shrieked and turned to Akaashi with a pout. Akaashi rolled his eyes before looking at Kenma with a small smile, “Glad you could make it.”

“Thanks.” He replied and turned to Kuroo who was widening his eyes intentionally at his friends before turning to him, “Let’s go.”

Kenma nodded as Kuroo wrapped a hand around his and weaved through the people who were trying and failing to look at them discreetly.

Kuroo lead him to an empty table and told him, “Wait here a sec, alright? I need to get my mom. She wants to meet you.”

Before Kenma could even begin to ask why his mother knew about him, Kuroo had already left after winking at him.

Kenma felt nervous as he sat on the table. He looked around and tried to skim his eyes over the people who were already looking at him judgmentally.

Kuroo really was a big deal huh?

And speaking of Kuroo, he just left Kenma alone. Who even does that?

“Hey.” He heard an unfamiliar voice from behind him. He turned and saw that it was a guy with piercings, blonde hair and an undercut.

Kenma just looked away and stared at the plate on his table. Shit why was he talking to him?

The guy went around the table and beside him. Kenma frowned at that. What does he even want?

The blonde rested his elbow on the table and placed his chin on his hand, “You’re cute.”

“Thanks?” Kenma said reluctantly and looked around. Where the fuck was Kuroo when you actually needed him?

“Are you dating Kuroo?” The guy asked suddenly. Kenma could see him in the corner of his eye, still staring at him.

“No.” Kenma replied automatically. The man grinned and held out a hand, “That’s good then. I’m Terushima Yuuji by the way.”

“Kenma.” He said simply without taking his hand. The man suddenly pushed his chair closer to Kenma’s, “You’re so cold.”

Kenma kept his mouth shut and leaned away from Terushima. Why was this happening to him?

“Maybe we could hang out some time.” The man whispered, dangerously close. Kenma wanted to make a run for it but he asked himself, where would he even run to?

“No. Back off.” Kenma said calmly. Terushima was pushing it too far.

He actually placed a stray lock of Kenma’s hair behind his ear, “Oh, come on.”

“I said no!” Kenma slapped the hand away. Terushima just chuckled, “Fiesty one.”

Kenma turned to look at him but he was out of his sight even before he could blink.

“What the fu-?!” Terushima said before he dropped to the ground. Kenma immediately stood up and saw that it was Kuroo seething in anger and fists clenched.

Holy shit

“Dude! Why’d you do that?!” Terushima asked and ran a hand over his busted lip as he tried to stand up.

Kuroo shouted, “He fucking said no dude!” He gripped Terushima’s collar violently and made a move of punching him again.

Kenma immediately placed a hand on Kuroo’s arm, “Kuroo. Stop.”

Kuroo whipped his head towards him, his eyes blazing, “Kenma. Just say the word, I’ll fucking kill this guy.” He said through clenched teeth as Terushima hung on his knees.

Kenma felt his heart swell with pride all of the sudden. Kuroo was being so protective.

“No.” He said silently and wrapped a hand around Kuroo’s clenched fist, “It’s not worth it.”

Kuroo’s eyes softened considerably and he let go of Terushima’s collar violently and growled at him, “Learn to know your fucking place dude.”

Terushima cleared his throat with a frown as he stood, “Why are you so pissed dude? He said you weren’t dating.”

“We aren’t.” Kenma replied as Kuroo also said, “WE ARE.”

Terushima laughed at that and placed a napkin over his lips, “Is he another one of your flavors for the month or something?”

Ah shit.

Kenma felt offended and all but Kuroo-

“YOU FUCKING-“  

Kenma had never seen anyone that pissed. And to think that it was because of something that had to with him.

He tried to hold back Kuroo but to no avail. Thankfully, Bokuto approached and locked his arms over Kuroo’s before he could  reach Terushima who was backing away, “Bro, chill.”

Kuroo struggled against his grip, “LET ME GO BOKUTO! IM GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM-“

Kenma didn’t even know what to at that point. He just stared at the side, trying to keep hold of Kuroo’s hand.

“Kuroo.” Kenma mumbled silently. What was he even supposed to do?!

“YOU NEED TO WATCH YOUR MOUTH DUDE!” Kuroo was trying to fling Bokuto aside but the guy didn’t even budge.

“Tetsurou.”  A stern voice said behind them. Kuroo stopped struggling and looked around. Kenma did the same and saw a man probably in his late forties and had blonde hair. But despite that, he looked like Kuroo-

“Dad.” Kuroo simply said. Bokuto dropped his arms and went over to Akaashi.

“You’re causing a scene, son.” Kuroo’s father placed a hand on his shoulders, “You should control your temper.”

It was then when Kenma remembered they had an audience. He looked around and noticed that the music already stopped playing and people were crowding over them.

He stepped back and hoped he would blend in with the shadows or something.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He looked at Kuroo who was already staring at him and mouthing, ‘Are you okay?’

Kenma nodded and darted his eyes towards his father who was smiling a bit before turning to Terushima, “And Yuuji-“

Terushima rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah, uncle. I’m sorry.”

Kuroo’s father nodded and turned to the crowd, “There’s nothing to worry about people, get back to enjoying yourselves.”

The music started playing again and people started to dispersing. And that was that.

“You better be sorry, Yuuji.” A soft voice came. A woman with long black hair came into view and she looked directly at Kenma, “I’m sorry for this, Kenma.”

Who was she again?

“Uhm-“ Kenma started. He looked at Kuroo who was approaching him with a smile.

The woman laughed, “Forgive me. I haven’t introduced myself.” She held out a hand, “I’m Tetsurou’s mother.”

Kuroo was already standing beside him as he accepted his hand, “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”

The woman laughed loudly, “You don’t have to be so formal, Kenma. Come and join us by the other room.”

She turned around leaving the two of them standing behind. Kenma turned to Kuroo, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Kuroo smiled down at him and then his face shifted into a frown, “I left you alone for a single minute and someone’s already flirting with you.”

Kenma didn’t reply to that.

Kuroo ran a hand through his hair and mumbled under his breath as he looked down, “It’s your fault for being so fucking beautiful.”

“I—what?” Kenma's face warmed at that.

Did he hear that right?

"Nothing!" Kuroo said a bit too loudly making Kenma wince despite the obvious blush he was sporting.

"I'm pretty sure you just said-"

"Shhhh-" Kuroo shoved a finger to his lips, "It sounded better in my head okay?" 

Kenma snorted and moved Kuroo's finger from his lips, "I'm flattered."

Kuroo rubbed his head sheepishly, "I'm sorry, okay? It's just, seeing him flirting with you pissed me off." Kuroo spat and looked down.

“I know. But that doesn’t mean you’d go punching people around.” Kenma folded his hand over his chest. It’s not like he didn’t want to see that possessive side of Kuroo, it’s just that violence was no something he wanted to see coming from Kuroo.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Kuroo ducked his head again.

Kenma took his hand reluctantly and whispered, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t like that possessive side of you.” Holy shit why was he even saying that out loud

“Holy shi-“ Kuroo started to say but Kenma dropped his hand and turned around, “We have to go to your mother.”

“Wait, you can’t just leave after saying something like that!” Kuroo whined from behind him.

Kenma felt a smile creep to his lips, “Sure I can.”


	7. Torn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for this idk how to write angst but I tried :D im so glad that lots of you have predictions and theories for this story and honestly, they're something along the lines and something that’s like a hairs length close to your guesses winkwink he he he and thank you for all your support :* I love y’all
> 
> Here ya goooo I hope you enjoy this and I probs wont update for a few days since I’ve abandoned my bokuaka fic (ie deleted my copies of all the chapters accidentally like who even does that) like a horrible person and I need to pick up the pace with it. 
> 
> Ps. this is so unedited im sorry

“So Tetsu dear, why don’t you tell us how you two met?” Kuroo’s mother asked as she drank from her wineglass.

Kenma stared at his food and poked absentmindedly at a single pea.

“I bumped into him.” Kuroo stated simply as he turned to look at Kenma with a smile, “Like literally bumped into him.”

“That’s kind of a bit too chick flicky.” Bokuto commented and swallowed a whole scallop.

They were currently inside the detached dining where special guests ate. Kenma knew several people from uni like Lev and Yaku. Of course, Kuroo’s friends and bandmates were there too.

Apparently, they served as proxies for their parents who were either busy or were in business trips out of the country.

Damned rich people.

Kenma looked at Kuroo beside him who glared at Bokuto who swallowed and said immediately, “Chick flicks are awesome though.”

“That’s what I thought.” Kuroo replied and turned back to Kenma again, whispering, “Hey, you okay? You’re too silent.”

Kenma cleared his throat and nodded, “I’m fine.”

Kuroo smiled at him and handed him a plate of what looked like scones, “These have apples.”

He was adorable.

Kenma nodded again and took one from the plate. Kuroo was like some sort of fussy…mother.

“How adorable!” Kuroo’s mother clapped her hands enthusiastically, “Are you two dating?!”

Kuroo choked on his food and Kenma had to pat his back like the good person that he needed to be despite also choking on his own food.

“Mom!” Kuroo was downright blushing. His friends laughed at him and Kenma noticed Lev and Yaku sending him teasing looks which he returned with intentional widened eyes.

“Well, are you?” That was the first time Kuroo’s  father spoke since earlier. Kuroo and Kenma snapped their heads towards him and this time it was Kenma who answered, “No.”

Kuroo’s father tilted his head, “Tetsurou? You look like you have something to say.”

Kenma turned to look at Kuroo who was gulping down an entire glass of water in one go.

He sighed after doing so and said softly giving Kenma a slight glance, “Well, I’m planning on going towards that direction.”

Kenma’s eyes widened comically at that. He dropped his utensils slowly and turned to Kuroo who just gave him a faint smile.

He- WHAT?!

Kuroo’s mother laughed, “I don’t think anybody’s as surprised as Kenma.” She turned to Kuroo with a disapproving look, “Where have your charms gone, son?”

“He never had charms, auntie.” Tsukishima commented as he scrolled through his phone despite being on the dinner table.

“True.” Bokuto added which resulted to Kuroo throwing a bread roll towards him and nailing him on the forehead.

Kenma still hadn’t processed what Kuroo said. Was he planning on asking him out?

Was he gonna do it as early as now? They’ve just met!

Kenma glanced at Kuroo who was sticking his tongue out at Bokuto and said, “Kuroo.”

Kuroo turned towards him with his tongue still stuck out, “Hneh-?”

Kenma pressed his lips together, trying so hard not to laugh. He was too cute for comfort.

“Oh shit sorry, what is it kitten?” Kuroo stumbled over his words as he turned towards him. Kenma blushed at the nickname but paid it no mind.

“Are you done?” He asked quietly, glancing at the people around them who looked like they were occupied enough.

Kuroo nodded as he wiped his napkin over his mouth, “Yeah?”

“Can we talk?” He asked shyly. His mind was running off the rails at that point.

What do you want to talk about?

Hell if I know, Kenma!

But Kenma,  you just said-

I know what I said Kenma!

“Sure.” Kuroo stood up and said while pointing at the door, “We’re gonna go first.”

“No brooo, don’t goo-“ Bokuto whined dramatically and extending his arms, “You’re both too young~~”

Akaashi smacked the back of his head.

Kenma shook his head disbelievingly and nodded towards the direction of Kuroo’s parents, “Thank you.”

“No problem, dear!” Kuroo’s mother waved with a huge smile. So that’s where Kuroo got his permanent smug look.

He resumed walking towards the other direction with Kuroo trailing behind him.

They entered the main hall and stood quietly beside each other for a couple of moments before Kenma said, “Kur-“

Kuroo cut him off by taking his hand and leading him towards the dancefloor.

“Hey! What are you-“ Kenma let himself be dragged towards the middle. They stood facing each other and Kenma frowned, “What are we doing here.”

Kuroo smiled, “We’re gonna dance.”

“Dance? Nobody else is dancing and there’s no music.” Kenma stated as he studied the surroundings.

Kuroo grinned again and took Kenma’s hands, placing one on his shoulder and holding the other with his. His other one went to Kenma’s waist and he started swaying.

Kenma blushed as he tried to keep up with Kuroo, “This is embarrassing.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow and pushed him closer, “Really?”

He nodded but suddenly, classical music filled the air. Violins and pianos started singing for them.

Kenma glanced at the live band and saw them smiling towards their direction.

“See?” Kuroo whispered, “It’s not so embarrassing if you ask me.”

“Maybe it’s because you have the confidence of a whale.” Kenma replied jokingly.

 Kuroo feigned hurt, “Ouch.”

They swayed together in the middle of the hall and for the first time, Kenma didn’t actually care about having stares sent their way.

A moment passed and people started joining them as Kenma looked around. Some couple were pairing up and swaying to the melody of the music.

“It’s unfair, you know?” Kuroo suddenly said breaking his observation. Kenma looked back at Kuroo with a quizzical look, “What do you mean?”

Kuroo sighed and placed Kenma’s other hand on his shoulder and positioning both of his on Kenma’s waist.

Kenma blushed at the almost familiar feeling as stroked it gently.

“What’s unfair?” Kenma asked again.

Kuroo looked at him sadly, “You’re unfair.”

Why was he the unfair one?

“What are you talking about?” Kenma asked softly, keeping in mind to actually maintain his chill. He wrapped his hand over Kuroo’s neck with a bit of effort given their height difference.

Kuroo hand tightened slightly around his waist and pulled him a bit closer, “You’re so unfair, Kenma.”

“Kuroo, I don’t understand.” Kenma replied as he tried to look at him, ducking his head.

Kuroo looked up at him with a small smile, “Nothing. What did you want to talk about again?”

“I just-“ Kenma started, trying to look for the words to say. He didn’t have anything to say really, “Just..nothing.”

“We’re awfully full of nothings aren’t we?” Kuroo chuckled bitterly.

 Kenma nodded, “I guess you’re right.”

Kuroo nodded too and proceeded to stare at Kenma openly. Kenma blushed at that and ducked his head. It was embarrassing, damn it.

“You’re beautiful.” Kuroo whispered.

Kenma felt a burst of emotion cloud his chest.

Kenma looked up and said, “You keep saying that.”

“I mean it.” He said sternly.

Kenma looked down and nodded, feeling the blush on his cheeks, “Thank you.”

They danced for a bit until someone spoke from the side, “Boys?”

They broke apart and found themselves staring at Kuroo’s dad.

“What is it, dad?” Kuroo asked. His father sent Kenma a small smile before turning to him, “Can I talk to you for a bit?”

“Sure. I’ll get to you in a bit.” Kuroo’s father nodded and walked towards another room.

Kuroo  glanced at Kenma with a smile after leading Kenma to a table, “You okay for a bit, kitten? I’ll get Akaashi and Bokuto to accompany you to avoid…possible assholes.” He said the last two words after glancing around the room.

Kenma nodded with a smile, “Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry for this. I can’t say no to my dad.” Kuroo said after squeezing his hand and letting go. He winked at Kenma one last time before turning towards the room.

For such a rebellious looking person, Kuroo actually followed what his parents told him.

Kenma sighed and slumped on the chair.

He was probably bruised at that point. Well, emotionally.

He’d never felt so many feelings in just a single hour.

“Hey, hey! Kenma! You okay there?!” Bokuto’s voice boomed  as he plopped onto the chair across his with Akaashi following him with his usual look.

“I’m fine.” Kenma replied with a nod towards Akaashi who sat beside Bokuto.

“You know, you should hang out with us more.” Akaashi stated as he took out his phone.

Bokuto crossed his arms over his chest, “True. Kuroo becomes a lesser asshole when you’re with him.”

Kenma didn’t know what to make with that information.

“Okay-?” Kenma drawled out. He’d never hang out with so much people with social statuses that were too far from his.

“You’re probably thinking about social status right now but believe me, it’s not a big deal.” Akaashi stated without looking up from his phone.

“Damn right, babe.” Bokuto slung an arm over Akaashi’s shoulders and kissed the top of his head.

Talk about PDA.

Akaashi shot Bokuto a glare before leaning his head on his shoulder and continuing with whatever he was doing on his phone.

So they were, public already?

They looked good together and it made Kenma’s heart ache with something that might be considered as longing.

It was like a feeling of nostalgia but he didn’t know what he was thinking of. He just..felt it.

A sudden pain shot through his head making him shut his eyes for a bit before the pain subsided.

He sighed and stood up, “Guys, I’m gonna head over to the bathroom.”

“Alright. It’s just around that corner.” Bokuto pointed his instruction. Kenma nodded and walked towards said corner where he found a door. He went inside the cleanest common bathroom he’d seen his entire life.

He went towards the  sink and splashed water onto his face. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and thought,

_It’s happening again._

He shook his head at that and took out some paper towels, rubbing them across his face. He suddenly felt his phone vibrate violently from his back pocket so he immediately threw the towels away and took out said phone.

“Hello?” He asked as he answered without looking at the caller ID. He heard some shuffling and then a sniffle, “Kenn-ch-chan?”

It was Tooru.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Kenma asked softly. He was sure that Tooru was crying.

“Something came up.” He stammered the words out and started sobbing, “Ca-can you come meet m-me? I already called chibi-chan.”

“Why? Just tell me what’s wrong. Where are you?” Kenma asked, feeling a bit panicked as he heard a loud beat of music suddenly come up.

“I know you’re in a date but I- I need you guys.” Tooru sounded so desperate, it hurt hearing him like that, “I’m in the club right across Shiratorizawa.”

“Alright. I’ll come.” Kenma sighed. He’d have to leave early.

“Thank you, Ken-chan.” Tooru was wailing now but his words were starting to get drowned out by the sound of music.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Kenma shouted loudly, to make sure Tooru could hear him before ending the call.

What could have happened to him?

He pocketed his phone and started walking in search of Kuroo. He went over to the room where he disappeared to and saw that the door was open ever so slightly and he could hear voices from inside.

Kenma wasn’t into the eavesdropping part of his action but he felt curious.

“Are you certain you know what you’re doing?” It was Kuroo’s dad.

“Like I said dad, I fucking am!” Now it was Kuroo.

They were arguing.

“You know this will not end well, Tetsurou! You’re not good for him!”

Him? Who were they talking about?

“But dad! I just want to be happy! Can’t you see I’m finally making a move after everything that happened!”

“That’s the thing, son! You’re not supposed to be making any moves. You’re gonna hurt him!”

There was a an angry yell, “I’m not! He’s what I’ve always-“

“HE’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU TETSUROU!”

There was a small beat of silence until..

“Kenma…is the only thing good about me dad.” Kuroo’s voice was softer now.

Kenma reeled back. They were talking about him?

Why were they arguing about him?

And Kuroo’s words were like a stab to his heart.

He was… the only good thing about him?

“Tetsurou. This is your choice but if the decision came to me, I’d want you to stay away from him.”

What were they saying?

“Tetsurou, as your father I am begging you to stay away.”

Kenma couldn’t take it. He didn’t know why but he felt his heart clench painfully and his throat burned with unshed tears.

Why was he asking Kuroo to stay away? Is it because he was poor?

Was he that much of a horrible person that nobody could ever allow him to be happy?

He turned away and bolted past the pillars and towards the east door where a gate was also located further down.

He heard footsteps behind him and a shout, “Kenma!”

It was Kuroo’s voice.

He shook his head and darted across the gardens until he felt a hand on his arm and whisper, “Wait.”

“Let me go, Kuroo. I need to get to my friend.” There was nothing else he could say as he turned to face

“Your..friend?” Kuroo asked reluctantly as he dropped his hand.

“My friend needs me and as far as I know, I’m not needed here.” There words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

“Damn it!” Kuroo cursed and ran a hand through his hair before looking at him with distress and saying, “How much did you hear?”

“I heard enough.” Kenma smiled sadly, “I can’t do anything if your dad hates me for some reason.”

“What-NO!” Kuroo said incredulously and ran a hand through his face, “You’ve got it all wrong, Kenma!”

“I don’t want to get it Kuroo.” Kenma replied, “I’m done with this game. You owe me one. Now, do me a favor and let me go.”

With every word he said, he felt his heart being stabbed. What the heck was with this pain?

“Kenma, you don’t understand-“ Kuroo’s voice was breaking as he held out his hand

Kenma shook his head, “I don’t want to understand, okay? Now I’m gonna go. My friend needs me.”

He turned around and left Kuroo standing on the garden alone.

He cursed as he felt tears roll down his cheeks.

What the heck was this?

He got into a cab, told the driver the address and chanced a look back at Kuroo who still had his head down.

Ah shit, what have I done?

He felt pain from both his chest and his head. His ears started ringing and he shut his eyes as he tried so hard to ignore the huge throb,

All of the sudden,

_‘Hey, do you need help with that?’_

The voice came from his head but he could not recognize it. It was frustrating.

In front of his own eyes, he saw a flash of a figure. It was a person whose face was too blurred to even make out.

What the heck was this.

He thought he was over these things now. He gripped at the hair by his temples and pulled to try and mask the pain from inside him.

_‘Hey, do you need help with that?’_

The voice was more muffled this time but he felt familiarity.

It felt too damn familiar

“Hey, kid?”

The pain went away. It was gone in a flash.

Kenma opened his eyes and blinked through his tears and saw that the old taxi driver was looking at him worriedly, “You okay?”

Kenma nodded at that and looked outside, seeing that they were already in front of the club.

He cleared his clouded thoughts and reached for his wallet, “Don’t bother, kid.”

“What-?” Kenma looked up and the driver was smiling at him warmly, “Go. I was headed to the garage for the night so it’s not a big deal.”

“But-“ Kenma looked at his wallet and then at the man who waved his hand, “Go.”

Kenma nodded and gave him a small smile before sniffling, “Thank you.”

He stepped out of the taxi and it sped away after a small honk. Kenma stared at the entrance of the club, at the neon lights and the bouncers.

It was cold.

He took out his phone and texted Shouyou,

Me: Are you at the club already?

The man replied after a minute.

Shouyou: Yea come inside the bouncers my friend

Shouyou and his connections. He was just too friendly.

Kenma took a deep breath and tried his best to look like he wasn’t crying and approached the bouncer who immediately said, “No minors.”

“I’m a friend of Shouyou.” Kenma countered. The man tilted his head questioningly and Kenma wondered if Shouyou was just bullshitting him.

“Shouyou?” The bouncers asked with his arms folded.

Kenma nodded. The bouncer stared at him sharply before recognition crossed his face, “You mean Hinata? Hinata Shouyou?!”

“Yeah?” Kenma drawled and stepped back a bit. The bouncer laughed, “Well why didn’t you tell me?! Come on in!”

Yeah, I kind of did.

Kenma went inside and the smell of booze and cigarettes immediately evaded his nose. There were lots of people by the dancefloor, moving their bodies to the loud beat of the music.

Kenma suddenly felt out of place with his formal look inside a place with so much informality.

He pushed past people and felt someone grope his ass. What the fuck.

He turned and saw that it was just some drunk college student.

This was why he hated clubs and the like.

Kenma sighed and went over to the sofas where he saw Tooru with someone. ‘With’ was probably insufficient because he was kissing that someone.

Holy shit.

And it wasn’t Iwaizumi.

It looked like it was-

He went over and saw that it was indeed Ushijima Wakatoshi. What was he doing?

“Tooru!” Kenma exclaimed as he stood in front of them. Tooru and Ushijima immediately broke apart and that was when Kenma realized how drunk Tooru was.

He didn’t sound drunk when he called.

Kenma looked at the table and saw a couple of empty shot glasses. About eight of them.

Damn it.

“Ken-chan!” Tooru sang dopily with his face red as a damned apple. Ushijima gave him a blank look before turning back to Tooru, whispering something to his ear and getting up.

“What are you doing with him?!” Kenma hissed when Ushijima was far enough as he went over to Tooru who waved his hand lazily, leaning on the sofa, “I was making out with him.”

“Why are you making out with him!?” Kenma knew for a fact that Ushijima was head over heels for Tooru and maybe he was just taking his drunken state to his advantage.

“Can’t single people make out with single people?” Tooru asked with a frown and stood up, wobbling slightly. He placed a hand on Kenma’s shoulder before he could reply and said, “Bathroom.”

He wobbled away and Kenma looked at his figure with wide eyes.

 What the fuck? He said he was single. Did something happen between him and Iwaizumi?

“Kenma!” A familiar voice said behind him. Kenma turned and saw Shouyou carrying two bottles of water, “Where’s Oikawa?”

“He went to the bathroom.” Kenma replied and ran a hand through his hair, “Why was he making out with Ushijima?”

Shouyou’s eyes widened, “He-WHAT?! They were just talking when I left!”

“Yeah, before you left.” Kenma said sarcastically and dragged Shouyou who was still carrying the water bottles by the arm, leading him to the bathroom.

They went inside and approached an open stall where Tooru was puking his guts out.

“Tooru?” Kenma asked softly when he finally stopped and Tooru didn’t reply. He still had his hands on his knees and was sobbing.

Kenma looked at Shouyou questioningly before Shouyou approached Tooru and placed a hand on his back, “Why don’t you tell us what happened?”

So he didn’t tell Shouyou yet?

Tooru straightened up and wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. He turned to them with a faint smile and tears running down his cheeks, “Iwa-chan said he doesn’t love me anymore.”

*****

They talked for almost two hours inside the bathroom, sitting on the chairs that were pushed into a corner. They received weird looks from partygoers because of that.

Apparently, Iwaizumi broke up with Tooru during the evening of their anniversary which was today and for no reason.

Kenma was pissed. How dare that idiot.

Tooru cried on Shouyou’s shoulder and rambled out with his voice muffled, “He-he said he didn’t l-love me anymore and that I was stupid. And I was immature and worthless and a waste of his time.”

Kenma tightened his hand on Tooru’s and whispered, “Stop that, Tooru.”

“But-“ Tooru yelled again and buried his face deeper in Shouyou’s shoulder. Kenma shot him a look.

He removed his jacket and placed it on the sofa and pointed at the empty water bottles, “You’ve been crying for an hour and a half Tooru. I’m gonna get some more water.”

In truth, it was just his excuse.

He hated seeing his friend like that and he felt his heart hurt seeing how much love ruined him. And he wondered whether Kuroo would have done the same thing to him.

‘You’ve had your heart ruined too, you just don’t know it.’

His subconscious was saying things that were confusing so he paid no mind.

He sighed as he stepped out of the bathroom and went to the writhing crowd. He pushed past people and went to the bar but as he was doing so,

“Hello?” A familiar voice boomed from the speakers and the music stopped.

Kenma, along with everyone in the entire club turned to look at DJ stand and holy shit-

“Kuroo?” Kenma whispered.

What in the world was he doing here?

 He knew Kuroo couldn’t see him in the midst of the crowd and in the dark lighting.

He looked like he just came from the party since he was still wearing his clothes from earlier minus the suit jacket.

“Hey, um sorry for interrupting your partying but-“ Kenma pushed past the people who were standing still. He noticed that there was a faint slur in Kuroo’s voice, like he was drunk.

“I’m gonna offer a song for the person I love and will ever love.” Kuroo announced as he steadied himself using the microphone stand.

People started cheering and hooting.

What was he talking about?

Kenma stepped further until he was close enough to see the faint blush on Kuroo’s eyes but kept in mind to not be seen.

Kuroo scanned the crowd as if looking for someone and then shut his eyes, “Kitten, I know you’re here. This one’s for you.”

Kitten? So he was talking about Kenma?

Wait, back the fuck up.

He loved him?

Kenma stared at him with wide eyes as he went over to a keyboard and sat down on the chair. He saw him trying to focus his eyes by blinking and then he started pressing on the [keys.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsXcc_tC-o)

Surprisingly, the tune was just right despite his current state. He played a familiar melody and leaned closer to the microphone. And then he sang,

_“You and I, we're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky.”_

His voice was husky and sincere, it made Kenma feel a sudden burst of emotion.

 __  
“With you, I'm alive  
Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide.” He looked up and scanned the crowd again.

Was he looking for Kenma?

He continued playing _, “So stop time right here in the moonlight  
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes.”_

Kenma felt like he was floating. He felt like he was alone with Kuroo in that single place.

He felt like it was just the two of them.

 _“Without you, I feel broke  
Like I'm half of a whole.”  _ Kuroo’s voice was shaking and so were his hands as he played on the keyboard.

 _  
“Without you, I've got no hand to hold.”_ A wrong note slipped from the keyboard.

 _“Without you, I feel torn_  
Like a sail in a storm  
Without you, I'm just a sad song  
I'm just a sad song.”

Kenma wanted to go to him.

He wanted to stop him from playing so honestly.

 He wanted to stop him from singing like he was in pain.

Because it hurt him too. It hurt him so much.

 _“With you, I fall_ _It's like I'm leaving all my past and silhouettes up on the wall_  
With you, I'm a beautiful mess  
It's like we're standing hand and hand with all our fears up on the edge.” His voice was so beautiful.

His voice brought a certain feeling of nostalgia.

That feeling he’d been getting a lot.

That feeling of missing something you don’t even know.

_“So stop time right here in the moonlight  
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes.” Kuroo paused for a bit and took a deep breath that resonated around the room that had fallen silent ever since he sang._

Kenma heart was hammering in his chest.

Kuroo what are you doing? Why are you doing this?

Was all of this for him? For Kenma?

 _“Without you, I feel broke_  
Like I'm half of a whole  
Without you, I've got no hand to hold  
Without you, I feel torn  
Like a sail in a storm.” Kuroo shook his head once but continued,

 _  
“Without you, I'm just a sad song.”_ Kuroo missed more than a single note as he sang the chorus. His pace was getting messy as he played.

His hands were shaking violently on the keyboard.

Kenma wanted to wrap his hands around his. He wanted to-

He wanted to be with him.

 _“You're the perfect melody_  
The only harmony I wanna hear  
You're my favourite part of me  
With you standing next to me  
I've got nothing to fear.” Kenma was almost certain that Kuroo was sobbing. His voice was breaking in the most painful way he could imagine.

Kenma could feel every emotion Kuroo let out as he sang.

And these emotions have taken him by the heart.

Kuroo stopped himself all at once and stared at the crowd. He shook his head again and looked back down at the keys and tried to play again,

 _“Without you, I feel broke_  
Like I'm half of a whole  
Without you, I've got no hand to hold-“

 _"Fuck_ -“ Kuroo cursed, cutting himself off and banged his fingers loudly on the keyboard. He stood up suddenly and walked out of the stage.

Kenma felt something warm on his face. He brought a hand up to his cheek and realized he’d been crying.

He saw the pain on Kuroo’s face and wondered what could have caused all that.

How can someone carry so much pain in his eyes? In his expression?

Was it him? How could it be him?

Seeing Kuroo like that was painful. It was like having his heart being ripped piece by piece.

He needed to get to him.

He looked at Kuroo’s retreating back as he pushed past people, trying to follow him. Kuroo went to a room that probably led to one of those lounges and Kenma went towards him without a second thought.

Kuroo went inside and Kenma stood in front of the huge doors, trying to compose his emotions.

He needed to know why Kuroo was acting like this because..because it was messing him up.

It was messing his feelings up.

He took a deep breath and pushed the doors open. Like he thought, it was a private lounge.

He walked inside and looked around. Where could he have gone?

He needed to see him.

He needed to know that Kenma saw him.

Kenma heard him.

Kenma felt him.

“I knew you’d come.” The voice he wanted to hear said from behind him before he felt arms around his shoulders, wrapping around his torso tightly.

His warmth was so familiar. He was too familiar.

Kenma took a shaking breath and placed his hand on the man’s arms, “Kuroo. Why did you do that?”

He felt Kuroo bury his face on his hair and breathe deeply, “You’re so damn unfair, Kenma.”

Kenma finally allowed himself to lean back into his warmth, “Why do you keep saying that?”

Kuroo called him unfair earlier, and he was saying he was unfair now.

“Because you’re so damn unfair.” Came Kuroo’s muffled reply.

He was so confused. He needed the answers he deserved.

“Kuroo-“ Kenma started and pried his arms off softly despite the protests of every nerve inside of him and the constant shout of his own subconscious telling him to stay. Telling him to keep Kuroo close.

But he needed to do it so he could turn around and face him, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kenma’s eyes widened when he saw a single tear slip from Kuroo’s uncovered eye.

He brought his hand up absentmindedly and wiped it away, “What are you trying to say?”

Kuroo placed his hand over Kenma’s and stroked it gently, “See, that’s the problem Kenma. You don’t know. You don’t know and it’s so fucking unfair.”

Kenma shook his head and placed both his hands on the man’s face, “Then tell me, tell me so I’ll understand.”

“I can’t-“ Kuroo’s face contorted like he was in pain and he looked at Kenma with tears on his eyes, “You’re so unfair, Kenma. You’ve been living your life and you left me..”

He didn’t understand.

Kenma didn’t understand.

What was he talking about?!

Kuroo’s hands tightened on Kenma’s, lowering them and meeting his eyes, “You’ve been living your life without me but I-,”

Kuroo dropped one of Kenma’s hands and brought his over his heart, clenching tightly at his shirt, “I spent years trying to fix this.”

Tears suddenly started flowing from Kenma’s eyes without knowing why.

“Kuroo-“ Kenma started before Kuroo suddenly wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his neck, “Stop.”

Why was he telling me to stop?

“But-“ Kenma brought his hand up and stroked the man’s hair, “I don’t understand you at all Kuroo.”

Kuroo’s fists clenched around his shirt, “Please don’t call me that.” Kuroo’s voice was breaking.

 He was crying to Kenma’s shirt.

Kenma was sobbing too. Why did it hurt so much?

Sure, Kenma processed some of Kuroo’s words but when he tried thinking and actually making sense of them, nothing came up.

He said he lived his life without him and it was true that he had. But why was he so broken? How could Kenma’s life affect his own?

And he said he missed him. What did he even mean?

How could you miss someone you’ve been with hours earlier?

It just didn’t make sense to Kenma. All his words didn’t make sense.

And now all he could do was wait for Kuroo to calm down. He needed to wait for him to calm down before he could get the answers he wanted.

The answers he needed.

He sighed and tried to control his own tears that were flowing too freely for his liking. He continued to hug Kuroo as the two of them cried, their sobs echoing in the room.

They stayed like that for a moment until-

“I can’t do this anymore.” Kuroo growled and suddenly pushed him away forcefully, “How the fuck can I forget about you when you’re the only one that keeps running inside my fucking head?!”

Kuroo pointed viciously at his own head as he said that.

“Tell me, Kenma!” His hand then went to his chest and then he lashed out again, “How the fuck can I forget you when you’re the only one that’s inside this?!”

Why was he acting like this?

There were so many questions in Kenma’s head. In his heart.

Kenma stepped forward and raised his voice, “Kuroo- I don’t understand!”

Keeps him going? What is he talking about?

Kuroo placed his hands on his head and let out a huge breath, “Fuck!” He cursed loudly and stepped forward again, cupping Kenma’s face  in his hand and placing his lips over Kenma’s.

Kenma’s eyes widened at that as Kuroo kissed him a bit too forcefully.

Kuroo’s lips moved against his, coaxing him. Kenma closed his eyes and felt a tear slip down his cheek as he kissed him back.

He always thought that doing this would give his feelings the answer they wanted, but now it felt like there was something missing. He felt as though there was a certain void in him that is slowly being exposed by being this close to Kuroo.

He’d always considered it in the back of his mind but he knew that it was impossible.

It was much too impossible.

He cleared his thoughts and focused solely on Kuroo.

His lips, his smell, his taste.

He felt Kuroo’s arms circle his waist and in the rush of the moment, Kenma brought his arms out too and wrapped them around the man’s nape and pulled him closer.

Kenma was a novice in kissing. He didn’t know shit about it.

But at that moment, he felt as if he did know. He felt as if he’d always known. And he felt as if those lips  were not a stranger at all.

Kuroo’s warm lips moved softly against his and he did his best to keep up.

It was sweet at first but the bitterness came when Kuroo pulled away, staring expectantly at him.

“Kuroo.” Kenma whispered and met his eyes. There was nothing else he could say.

Kuroo suddenly let go of him and reeled back, his eyes widening, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Kenma felt his heart shatter in two when Kuroo shook his head with a pained expression, “I shouldn’t have-“

Did he regret it? Did he regret kissing him?

Was that it?

“Kuroo-“ Kenma couldn’t believe that he could make such a broken call.

He stretched his hand took hold of the man’s sleeve, “What are you saying?”

Kuroo ran a hand over his face.

He  stepped forward again and placed a hand on Kenma’s head, kissing his forehead faintly while whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, kitten. I should never have done all this.”

Kenma tried to speak up but Kuroo kissed his forehead chastely for the second time and whispered the words that Kenma never wanted to hear,

“I’ll stay away this time.”

And before Kenma could blink, Kuroo was already walking out of the lounge.

And without a second thought, he chased after him.

He pushed his feet under him and chased him.

But a blaring pain shot through his head.

There it was again.

_‘I’ll come back, don’t worry.’_

Kenma fell to his knees in the midst of the crowd.

And he could only stare as Kuroo walked out of the club.

He could only stare as he walked out of his sight.

He could only stare as he walked out of his life.

_‘Again’_


	8. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma's dreams and his past. His life. And then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! *waves enthusiastically* I have finally found the right opportunity to post a new chapter yossshhh I was planning on updating like tomorrow or the next day but I wuv u guys soooo here I am again bothering you with some..things (this fic is getting p long but eh) :D and I have some notes or reminders or idk
> 
> ONE, this is full of non-linear events and chap breaks winkwink they’ll all make sense in the next chapter which btw will be in the pov of a certain someone….
> 
> TWO, this is unedited so im sorry for all the grammatical errors and whatnot
> 
> THREE, about the previous chap :D I’m sorry to all iwaoi fans (im sure we’re all iwaoi fans) but im p sure this will make up for it he he
> 
> FOUR, I will go down with this ship cough kuroken cough otp
> 
> Das all I love you guysss :* kissy~~

Kenma was never a fan of those cliché love stories.

He was never a fan of those angst-filled romance films.

He saw no point in them.

He saw no point in seeing a person fall in love, be broken by love and ironically enough, be mended by it.

It was like a cycle but you knew that in the end, the two protagonists end up together.

But it seemed like all his hatred came to bite him in the ass.

Because at that moment, he felt like he was in one of those damned films.

But the thing was, his movie seemed to have no happy ending.

And it was all because of a single man.

A man who’s been gone for a month.

“Kenma, you look awful.”

Yeah, I know, he thought.

Ever since Kuroo left him by that lounge, he saw no point in everything. Call him lovesick but it was the truth.

He attended school the Monday after that event, thinking to himself that he could talk to Kuroo there. Maybe he could clear things up with him.

But like everything that happened in his life, it didn’t go his way. Every time he caught sight of a tall man wearing a black jacket, he’d immediately think it was Kuroo.

He’d stop paying attention to his classes the moment he tried to scan every single person in the class and maybe, just maybe, Kuroo was there.

He even went out of his routine and toured the entire campus, looking for him in places Kenma remembered seeing him hang out.

People also noticed his absence if he took note of the way they whispered questions in the hallways almost every day.

Surprisingly for some reason, they started asked Kenma where Kuroo was and the only thing he could say was, “I wish I knew.”

Yaku told him how almost everyone thought he was in a relationship with Kuroo that’s why they were pestering him too.

It pissed him off.

He didn’t fucking know!

He tried to stop looking for Kuroo by the fourth day. He started to realize that maybe he meant what he said.

Maybe he really wanted to stay away.

Tried was the key word in his previous statement because everything he did at that point had that particular relevance to Kuroo.

Every glance, every turn of his head, it was all for him.

He kept looking for him. Even out of campus.

Shouyou was stressed out.

Kenma knew that for a fact since between the three of them, he was the only one with a stable mentality at that point. Or as stable as his mentality got.

He’d been calling Kenma nonstop when he went home that night from the bar without a word and he actually barreled towards him while he was in class.

Kenma was sorry for that. But he didn’t really know how to say it much less express it.

He was too wrapped up on the thought of Kuroo.

Fuck.

Days turned to weeks and Kenma decided he had to do something more, he had to find out where Kuroo was even if he couldn’t actually speak to him.

Although he wanted to so badly.

And there was one thing he could possibly do. And it required every amount of self-confidence he had.

That was why when he stood in front of Akaashi inside their band room, he tried his best not to shrink in on himself, “I know. I just have a question.”

Akaashi turned around and went over to Bokuto who was leaning his head on his arms by the table, “We don’t know where he is. If that’s what you’re wondering. His parents don’t know too.”

Kenma clenched his fist and looked at the ground, “But you guys are friends-“

Tsukishima who was sitting on top of the grand piano closed his book with a snap, “We’re friends but that doesn’t mean he tells us everything.”

Kenma steadied himself and plopped on to the sofa that Akaashi offered for him to sit on, “But he’s been gone for three weeks.”

Bokuto who’d been silent all that time lifted his head with a slight frown on his face, “We don’t know. He just left after getting all pissed and drunk in the party and then poof, the fucker’s gone.”

“Come to think of it-“ Akaashi started and turned to Kenma with a tilt of his head, “He said he was going to see _you.”_

Kenma winced at that and looked down at his hands. He didn’t want to tell them what happened that night even if he wanted to. Because if he did, he’d never know what to say and how to explain.

“You saw him didn’t you? He went after you, after all.” Tsukishima was studying him intently with a hand under his chin. It made him feel uncomfortable.

Kenma swallowed and nodded, “I did.”

Were they blaming him?

Maybe he really was to blame.

Kuroo’s gone and it was his entire fault.

“It’s not your fault.” Akaashi said like he was reading his mind or something. Kenma looked at him with wide eyes.

Akaashi picked up an acoustic guitar and started tuning it, “Kuroo is a reckless and impulsive person. I’m sure you’ve noticed that already.”

Kenma nodded at that and fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket.

If his actions were something to go by then Kenma sure as hell noticed it.

“But he gets a whole lot more impulsive when it comes to you.” Bokuto said sparing him a glance.

Kenma ran a hand through his hair, “Why? What do I have to do with all of this?”

Tsukishima let out a small, sarcastic laugh and turned away, looking at the bookshelf, “You have _everything_ to with this.”

“What?”

Sure, he knew that somehow he had a part in this but he didn’t think he had everything to do with it.

“It’s true.” Akaashi glared warningly at Tsukishima who just shrugged as he walked out of the room after nodding at Kenma, “But it’s not our place to tell.”

So he was the only person who didn’t know?

“It’s up to Kuroo if he wants to tell you.” Bokuto stood up all of the sudden, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and kissing the side of Akaashi’s head as he placed the guitar back on the stand.

Bokuto started walking towards the door, “That is, if he shows himself to you at all.”

Kenma felt his throat constrict at that, he looked down again and tried to blink the tears from his eyes.

He suddenly felt Akaashi sit beside him.

 Kenma turned to said man quietly. Akaashi just gave him a small nod and a faint smile, “I’m sorry for that. Kou just isn’t taking this nicely. He misses his best friend.”

Kenma nodded at that and lifted his lips, “I understand.”

He understood how these people felt.

He felt it too.

“We miss him too but he’s probably just taking some alone time and cooling off.” Akaashi stated as he stood up and said with a smile, “Come on, we have English together, remember?”

*****

Weeks turned to a month and Kenma had never felt so alone. Sure, he had his friends and he might have found comfort in Kuroo’s band mates, but it wasn’t enough.

He stopped studying due to his whirling emotions and scored a shitton of zeros in quizzes. He managed to fail a single class which disappointed his parents a lot although he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

He laughed at the thought of him becoming similar to those female movie characters that ruin themselves because of certain…. emotions.

He was screwed.

*****

He might have done something productive once that single month and that was meeting up with Iwaizumi.

He had a whole speech prepared for the asshole as he knew firsthand how ruined Tooru was. He was much like him and it pissed him off.

He knew that Tooru was feeling what he felt, maybe even more.

He texted Iwaizumi one morning after he received a call from Tooru who sounded so broken it emphasized his own predicament.

 **Me:** Public library. 10am

Iwaizumi replied an hour later

 **Iwaizumi** : Okay.

Kenma sighed as he stood in front of the library at 9:50am, preparing himself for the strain in his emotions that was sure to come.

He pushed the door open and went directly to the table where he knew Iwaizumi and Tooru sat during the times they studied together.

Iwaizumi may or may not love Tooru anymore but Kenma knew that- that certain place held a bit of sentimental value for the two, especially Iwaizumi.

He rounded the corner and saw Iwaizumi with his back facing him and head on his hands.

Kenma approached and said immediately, “How could you?”

He saw Iwaizumi wince at his voice. Wonderful.

“You’re a fucking-“ He cut himself off as he went around the table and saw the look on Iwaizumi’s face.

Boy, did he look awful.

There were bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess and his shirt was inside out.

And the look on his face was the look of a man who’d given everything up.

“Kenma.” Iwaizumi said and looked up at him, “I need to talk to you.”

Kenma remained standing and tried to control his anger before saying, “Who gave you the right to look like that, huh? After all you-“

“Please stop.” Iwaizumi placed his head between his hands, “Just…sit down. I’ll explain.”

Kenma took a sharp breath and plopped down on the seat to emphasize how pissed he was, “Well?”

Iwaizumi looked at him sadly, “I broke up with Oikawa.”

“I know.” Kenma said, crossing his arms, “You called him immature and a waste of your time.”

Iwaizumi shut his eyes and shook his head, “I needed to hurt him.”

What?

Kenma let out a ridiculed laugh, “The fuck are you saying? You _needed_ to?”

“I love him so much.” Iwaizumi whispered as he turned his head. Kenma averted his eyes and remembered Kuroo. Damn it. This was supposed to be about Tooru, not him and Kuroo.

Kenma raised an eyebrow at the man, “That’s not what he said.”

“Believe me, Kenma. I love him so much.” Iwaizumi’s voice broken and Kenma felt embarrassed. He shouldn’t be seeing another person break down like this.

“Then why did you do that? Why did you leave him?” Kenma raised his voice. He knew deep down that he wished Kuroo was the one he was talking to. He wished he could ask him why he left him.

Iwaizumi let out a laugh, “I’m transferring to a law school in the Florida.”

“What?” Kenma whispered. He was..transferring? What about Tooru?

“I didn’t tell Oikawa because I’m sure he’d tell me to keep my ties with him.” Iwaizumi explained gruffly.

“But-why are you going to another school? Seijoh seems fine.” Kenma asked, leaning forward with a questioning look, “Why are you leaving him?”

“Because I want to be better for him.” Iwaizumi answered with a sad smile, “I want to be able to provide for him in the future. I can’t go on with my life like this.” Iwaizumi gestured at himself and made a disgusted look, “ I’ve been shitting myself on this major I took without thinking and now I need to put my life back together.”

Kenma only nodded at that. He wanted what was best for him? He probably understood now.

“Oikawa has a future. He’s probably going to be an Olympic player by the time we graduate and me? I’ll be a baggage. Extra luggage. I can’t have that.” Iwaizumi’s voice was so stern, “I want to be able to secure a future for him and for me.”

“But you’re leaving him. You broke up with him. How are you gonna secure a future if you’re not together?” In Kenma’s view, everything was screwed.

But Iwaizumi just smiled, “Being with me even if I’m away will only ruin him. Being with me during those times will fuck up his future. That’s why I had to hurt him enough to hate me. And besides, if we’re meant for each other then we’ll build a future together again.”

Kenma knew he was right. He knew Iwaizumi was right.

And he thought that maybe, that was what Kuroo was thinking. Maybe he thought that staying away from him would keep him safe.

Maybe.

“And you know, Kenma.” Iwaizumi suddenly started and he looked at Kenma sincerely, “Once you love someone- you’ll endure every single thing that comes your way. That’s what I’m doing now. Even if it hurts, I’ll stay away. Because I know I’m doing this for him.”

Was it really like that? Does love really require sacrifice?

If so, did Kuroo really love him?

That question in itself was like a slap to his face but despite that, he felt a certainty. He felt confident that Kuroo did love him.

Kenma himself couldn’t even fathom whatever he was feeling now.

He was miserable now that Kuroo was gone. He’d been looking for him too.

The fact that Kuroo might never show himself to him in that lifetime scared him. It scared him so much.

And that feeling of fear was something familiar to him.

The fear of never seeing him again.

Was this a part of his sacrifice? All the effort he’s discreetly been putting up.

And that begs the question,

_Were those the actions of someone who was in love?_

*****

Two months.

That’s how long Kuroo was gone.

Kenma was hollow at that point and nothing seemed to help lift his spirits up.

He’d been failing more classes and he waved off his friends a lot.

And just to add insult to his injury, he’d been getting an awful lot of dreams. Dreams similar to what he’d experienced after that one fateful night.

And each dream was different. But somewhat the same.

*****

_“Where am I?” That was Kenma’s first thought as he opened his eyes._

_Was this a dream?_

_‘Kenma!’ A young familiar voice said from in front of him._

_It was a boy._

_He turned his head to look at the owner of the voice and heard his own reply, ‘What?’_

_His voice was higher than normal too._

_The person’s face was a blur. He couldn’t see who they were at all other than those faint details._

_Like if he looked at him and stared, the figure became blurrier._

_Trying to recognize the person was like grasping at smoke. The more you try the harder it becomes._

_The more you try to grasp, the more it slips from your fingers._

_‘You’ve been spending an awful lot of time with that psp of yours!’ The person sounded pissed as he Kenma could see him cross his arms over his chest , ‘Play volleyball with me.’_

_Kenma’s gaze moved without his consent and he looked down at the thing he held. It was a handheld game._

_He heard himself reply, ‘Don’t wanna.’_

_He wasn’t saying these things. Well, not in his consciousness._

_‘What am I ever going to do with you?’ The voice said with a chuckle._

_‘Um, leave me alone?’ He heard himself reply._

_The person suddenly sat beside him and slung an arm over his shoulders, ‘Nope. That won’t do at all.’_

_*****_

_‘Kenma!’ There he was again. Trapped in his own body, yet not in control._

_It was like watching a movie in first-person perspective._

_‘Hey! Toss to me for a bit!’ The same person was bounding towards with a wave of his hand. His face was still a blur to Kenma._

_He felt himself sigh and say, ‘Fine.’_

_‘Yeah!’ The person exclaimed. He felt himself stand up and follow the person as he was dragged by the arm towards a clearing._

_A clearing with a ragged looking volleyball net._

_He’d seen this place before._

_His body moved on its and before he knew it, he was setting the ball for the boy. His subconscious felt a dull pain as he watched from inside his own mind, the way the boy tried to hit the ball._

_He delayed the spike himself, effectively missing the ball and hitting him on the head._

_‘What was that?’ He heard himself ask. The person turned to him and Kenma could see him place his hands on his hips, ‘A time-delay attack. It’s an attack where the spiker acts like he’s about to jump,’ The person matched his words with his actions, ‘And then holds it for a bit before actually hitting it.’_

_The person turned towards him, ‘I saw it on Tv.’_

_His dream self sighed, ‘Will you please stop picking things up from the TV-“_

_He knew he was about to say it. It was a name. It was a_ name.

_But the dream suddenly morphed into itself and the scene turned black._

*****

_This was another dream, he thought._

_This felt different._

_He was sitting on a swing in some sort of playground and was playing with his DS._

_He saw his own fingers as he tapped on the keys and thought to himself, ‘What horrible strategy.’_

_Suddenly, he felt someone bump on his back, effectively toppling him over, hitting his knees on the pebbles and dropping his game along with the bag he rested on his lap._

_‘Oops, sorry!’ He turned around and saw boy who had spikey grey hair running out of the playground carrying a volleyball._

_Rude, he thought._

_He picked up the notebooks and books from inside the bag that somehow managed to all fall out._

_‘Hey, do you need help with that?’_

_What did he just say? That voice. It was the same voice._

_He felt himself lift his head and then he was looking at the familiar person from his past dreams._

_His voice said, ‘No.’ And he continued to pick up his things and placed them on his bag. The person didn’t seem to listen to him since he crouched and helped him pick them up._

_He stood up once he was done and faced the boy, ‘You from around here?’_

_‘Yes.’ He simply said. This place was unfamiliar to Kenma. Did he really live somewhere close before?_

_‘Alright.’ Although Kenma could not see his smile, he could hear it. A hand was suddenly thrust in front of him, ‘Hi, I’m-“_

_And then the black void came._

_No. No, not yet._

_He needed to see who he was. He needed to know his name._

_He needed-_

*****

The dreams always left him on edge and every time he woke up, he woke up crying. It was like living a life he didn’t remember and it hurt.

He got plenty of dreams like this before and he never wanted them.

But now, it was like his dreams were the things he needed. His dreams were supposed to bruise him in every sense of the word but when he dreamed about that boy, he welcomed the pain.

He welcomed it without a second thought.

Because he knew that his dreams held the answers he wanted.

*****

_‘Kenma’, it was him again._

_The person was waving his hand and carrying something with the other, ‘I know how to play now!’_

_As the person drew closer, Kenma realized he was carrying an acoustic guitar._

_‘Really? Wow.’ He heard himself reply. Kenma could make out the faint smile on the person’s lips, ‘Really. Here listen to this-‘_

_The person placed his feet on the bench where Kenma sat and cradled the guitar with his thigh._

_He started strumming faintly and then sang, ‘_ I’m falling in love, but it’s falling apart. I need to find my way back to the-‘

_He looked like he didn’t know the chords that followed because he rubbed the back of his head, ‘I still need more practice. But I promise you- when I get good at this. You’ll be the first one to hear me play an entire song.’_

_Kenma felt overwhelmed all of the sudden, like his subconscious was filling him with emotions he could not register._

_‘No.’ He heard himself say, ‘What if I’m not there when you finally learn to play?’_

_‘But you’ll always be with me! Why not?’ Kenma could hear the pout in the boy’s voice._

_He may have given him a look because he sighed, ‘Alright. Then, you’ll be the first one I’ll play this song to.’_

_‘Alright.’_

_‘It’s a promise.’ The boy held out his pinky and Kenma took it with his and he heard himself say. ‘A promise.’_

*****

“Kenma, dear. We’re really starting to worry about you.” His mother’s voice came from the door. Kenma shook his head and buried himself deeper into the covers.

The bed sank a bit and then he felt a hand on his covered shoulder, “What’s wrong with you, son?” It was his father now.

Kenma didn’t know what was wrong with him.

The only thing he knew was that Kuroo was gone and it was like having every interest inside himself being taken away piece by piece.

And there was another thing he sure of,

“It’s happening again.” Kenma said, his voice muffled by the pillow he’d shoved in front of his face. He heard a strangled gasp that came from his mother, “Are you sure, sweetie?”

Kenma was sure of it.

He also had his own suspicions which he decidedly chose to ignore. He knew that the things and ideas running inside his head were false.

It could never be possible.

Which was why he would never tell them what the trigger was. Or specifically, who.

“I’m sure, mom.” Kenma replied and peeked from under his blankets, “And I don’t know what’s triggering it.”

Kenma’s parents shared a look that he couldn’t register before his fathers nodded, “Well, take your medicine this time around.”

“I will.” Kenma lied. He won’t take them. At least, not now.

Because he knew for a fact that his maintenance medicine were full of painkillers but they also mended whatever the heck was being affected in his head.

And mending meant blocking out those dreams and it then meant he’d never find the answers he wanted. He’d never find the answers he needed.

“If you find out what the trigger is, tell us.” His mother said before kissing his forehead and leaving him in his dimly lit room.

What if his suspicions were true?

How could it even be possible?

He willed himself to sleep and hoped he would get another dream. He hoped he would get another clue.

_*****_

_The stars were beautiful_

_He was looking up at the night sky._

_‘They’re beautiful.’ He whispered.His voice sounded deeper now. Was this-_

_‘Yeah.’ It was the same voice but…not. He turned around and saw the boy, no, he was a man._

_He was taller now. He was taller than Kenma._

_The man was looking at him, he knew that much._

_Kenma felt himself step forward and wrap his arms around the man, ‘Don’t go’_

_There was pain inside Kenma. A pain that bloomed inside his heart._

_A familiar pain._

_The man wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead, ‘I’m sorry.’_

_Why was this so familiar?_

_‘You’re not sorry.’ He sounded broken. And he felt just as broken._

_‘I’m so sorry, kitten.’ The man whispered to his hair._

_Kitten._

_His arms moved and he stepped away, ‘You’re not sorry!’ He banged his fists on the man’s chest, ‘If you were, you wouldn’t leave me!’_

_‘Kitten, calm down.’ He was hugging him now, squeezing his arms in front of them,_

_‘Don’t worry, I’ll come back’_

_The man tore himself off Kenma and said after stroking his face, ‘I love you.’_

_Kenma’s heart hammered in his chest._

_Those words._

_Coming from that voice._

_Kenma nodded at that. The man was smiling sadly before he started to turn away._

_But Kenma’s arm moved on its own accord and clutched at the back of his shirt before he hugged him by the waist, burying his face in his back, ‘I love you too.’_

_‘I know.’ The man said without turning back. Kenma let go and he started walking again._

_‘Mr. Kozume, we need to get you home.’ It looked like there was a driver waiting for him._

_He turned around and went inside the car. He stared at the man’s back as he walked towards what looked like his own car._

_His tears were pouring out of his eyes as he tried to wrench open the door handle but it was locked, ‘Open the damn door!’ He was shouting at the driver who just shook his head sadly._

_He tried opening it with the latch but it still didn’t budge._

_No._

_Don’t go._

_Don’t leave._

_Don’t leave me._

Kenma woke up gasping for breath. His head was throbbing painfully and every time he shut his eyes, he only saw white.

His ears were ringing loudly.

He pushed the covers off and hobbled towards the door as he tried his best not to vomit.

_Don’t leave me._

He opened the door of his room and bolted towards his parents room.

Everything hurt. His head, his body, his fucking heart.

He sank to his knees and steadied himself with his hands as he tried to stop the way his vision was swimming.

‘ _Don’t worry, I’ll come back’_

He couldn’t stop himself, he threw up on the floor in front of him.

It didn’t help at all.

‘ _Do you need help with that?’_

“Fuck!” He cursed as he wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and tried to stand up.

The world was tilting sideways.

He knocked on his parent’s room and shouted, “Mom! Dad!”

He had enough time to see the distress on his parent’s faces as they opened the door before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he felt himself hitting something soft.

The world was rocking him now. The colors in his vision were telling him to rest.

He saw one person appear in front of his eyes.

He was smiling at him and waving happily, ‘Hey! Kenma!”

He whispered one word, “Kuroo.”

And then the colors all blended into one.

Now all he saw was black.

*****

Kenma was conscious.

But he couldn’t see a thing.

What was this?

Where was he?

‘Do you remember what happened?’ His own voice asked him.

Of course he remembered.

It all came back to that event four years ago.

He knew what happened to him that night but he didn’t what he felt. Somehow when he thought of his feelings about it, he came up blank.

There was like a void in his heart where all he felt then should have been.

He was falling asleep. His consciousness wavering slightly.

And a memory flashed.

It was that one night.

That one night.

The night he died.

 

**Approximately 4 years ago (according to Kenma’s memories)**

_Kenma was walking._

_He was walking alone._

_He was strolling down the alleys of the city alone._

_Surely, that was a stupid thing._

_But he did it._

_He had no particular destination but it didn’t seem to matter._

_He was walking as fast as he could and trying not to make it obvious that he knew._

_He knew someone was following him. He’d noticed it ever since he rounded that alley but he couldn’t seem to get away._

_His emotions were a mere blur._

_Sure, he was scared and he knew he needed to get away but other than that..nothing._

_He could hear the footsteps growing closer and he knew that he was dead._

_Good riddance._

_He picked up the pace, choosing not to be stupid once in a while when he felt the cloth being pressed into his mouth and nose._

_He struggled but he knew that it was pointless. He kicked and screamed but he couldn’t escape._

_He saw a black van in the corner of his eyes. There were people rushing out of it  and towards him and his attacker._

_They were dressed in black._

_They carried him inside as he felt those useless tears run down his eyes._

_He was going to die._

_He was thrown inside the van by the man. His screams were drowned out as the door closed with a snap._

_He now had duct tape around his lips and around his limbs. There was no escape._

_But somehow he didn’t want to give up at that point, even with all armed men surrounding him._

_He glanced around the vehicle quietly. He looked at the driver who was just a single lunge away from him and then at the other men who were all cramped up._

_He could do this._

_The darkness of the van was a huge help as he loosened the duct tape around his arms ever so slowly until it slipped to his fingerjoints._

_He wiggled his hands but suddenly the man closest to him laughed and poked his head with the gun barrel, “Who knew taking this kid would be so easy?”_

_“Damn right.” One of them replied and turned to Kenma with a sneer, “You shouldn’t hang out with the rich ones, kid. You’ll get yourself into situations like these.”_

_The other one laughed, “Your advice won’t work, Bill. He’s already in the situation.” They high-fived each other like those cliché idiotic criminals._

_Kenma didn’t really remember what they meant by what they said but he knew that he could use that opportunity to free his hands entirely._

_‘Now what?’ That was what he was supposed to think of but no..he immediately lunged at the driver and took hold of the steering wheel._

_The men started clawing at his feet and the driver tried to push him away but he gripped the wheel tightly._

_He veered the van sideways without even thinking but it was already too late._

_He felt his eyes widen as he looked at the empty bus garage. They were getting closer._

_Ah shit. I screwed up._

_He could only stare as the van hit an empty bus._

_He got thrown off and he knew his head hit the windshield._

_He didn’t know what he felt exactly but he knew he was cold. Too cold._

_He woke up in a hospital with nothing._

_He knew his name. His name was Kozume Kenma._

_But who were these people? Who were they?_

_He lost his memories._

_Due to head trauma that devastated his hippocampus._

_They said he’d been asleep for a month. His brain was dead._

_He was dead but he was said to be kept alive by a single machine. A machine that did the breathing for him. A machine that made him seem alive._

_The day he came back to life was the day they pulled the plug._

_The doctor’s saw the smallest activity in his brain even without the machine._

_He knew he woke up in a jolt. They tried to revive his heart as their last resort and he made it._

_People kept telling him he was strong. That was why he survived._

_They said he was a miracle._

_But he considered it a curse._

_Because he knew nothing. His mind was void._

_He was brought out of the hospital with a private doctor. He went home knowing no one._

_He went home with a blank head with nothing other than those basic things and basic emotions._

_But after weeks, they came back._

_The people around Kenma gave him pictures, told him stories and showed him places that helped him remember._

_Although he hated remembering because it hurt._

_Every memory he restored was like being pierced in the head with a hot knife._

_His memories were shoved into a head that got used to functioning without them._

_He got them back but there was something missing inside of him. A hollowness that could not be filled._

_He’d always thought that it was just because of everything that happened to him._

_Maybe it was._

_Or was there truly something missing?_

_He frequented the hospital due to his still adjusting brain and that’s when he met Shouyou and Tooru._

_He was walking along the hospital corridor of the maternal ward, on his way to the psych ward, looking for his new doctor when he heard a scream. It was a scream that came from the room to his left._

_He felt curious. That didn’t seem like a scream of some pregnant woman giving birth._

_He peered at the door and saw a redhead boy about his age, lying on the bed and crying. His shoulder looked like it was dislocated and his face morphed in pain._

_‘That’s what you get for being so stupid.’ There too was another boy who looked a bit older and was taller, standing by the bed. He had brown hair and he was a bit attractive._

_The redhead grunted and looked at the man, ‘I saved the ball, didn’t I?’_

_‘Yeah. And dislocated your shoulder.’ The man replied. Kenma accidentally leaned on the doorknob making him stumble inside._

_The two of them turned to look at him and the redhead’s face brightened, ‘Hey! I know you!’_

_Kenma turned to look behind him and when he saw that there was no one, he pointed to himself._

_The redhead nodded, ‘You were in the 7 th ward right? In a comatose? I saw you once and I might have stolen some of the chocolates by your bed.’_

_The brunette slapped the head of the boy, ‘Idiot! You’re officially 100% stupid!’_

_Kenma tilted his head sideways, was that guy for real?_

_The brunette approached Kenma with a smile and held out his hand, ‘I’m sorry for that. I’m Oikawa Tooru. That idiot’s my friend, Hinata Shouyou.’_

_Kenma nodded and took his hand, ‘I’m Kozume Kenma.’_

_‘Hi Kenma! Glad you made it out of that coma!’ Hinata’s smile was so sincere Kenma didn’t even think of it having some underlying meaning. He was fascinating._

_Oikawa shook his head disbelievingly at the boy and smiled at Kenma,’What are you doing here by the way?’_

_Kenma averted his eyes, ‘I was looking for my psychologist.’_

_‘Dr. Iwaizumi?’ Oikawa asked with a raised eyebrow. Kenma nodded reluctantly._

_‘Eyyy that’s Oikawa’s future father-in-law!’ The redhead’s shoulder already had a cast so he went over to them with a smile._

_Kenma saw the blush in the taller man’s face and he immediately said, ‘The hell are you saying?’_

_‘Pfft—‘ The redhead took Kenma by the arm and lead him down the hallway, ‘Come on. Oikawa’s father-in-law-chan is this way.’_

_Kenma thought that maybe his accident had a good side._

_Because he met knew people. People whom he never thought would become his best friends._

_But despite that, there was that emptiness he felt._

_That emptiness that could never be filled even with all those times he spent laughing, talking and enjoying with Tooru and Shouyou. And even with his family._

_It was like there was that certain space in his entire being reserved for one, single thing._

A place inside of him that can only be occupied by one single person.


	9. Stalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *stumbles into the room looking really disheveled* I'm sorry I'm late!  
> I finally finished this chapter *wipes sweat from forehead*   
> i've been so stressed these past few days and haven't really found the time to write but here i am (~˘▾˘)~  
> this is unedited im sorry if there are any errors and such   
> but i still hope you enjoy! :D

“How long are you gonna stay away?”

I’ve been asking myself that for the past two months, Kuroo thought.

“I don’t know.” Kuroo said as he shoved his hands inside the pockets of his coat, “Forever?”

“Aren’t you being a coward?” Tsukishima deadpanned as they spoke through the phone.

Kuroo wanted to go back but he knew that if he did, he’d have to face Kenma. And even if he missed him, he’d never have the guts to tell him about everything.

He’d never have the guts to face reality.

Although he thought he did.

 He’d always thought that maybe when the time came, he’d pour his all into reminding Kenma of who he was. Reminding him of what they used to be.

But it was easier said than done. The moment he’d tried, the look in Kenma’s eyes was a constant reminder that Kuroo was the only one holding on.

He was holding on to a thin string of hope that maybe, just maybe, it’ll all come back.

Kuroo sighed to the receiver and looked down at the river as a gondola passed by, “I’m not being a coward.”

“Yes you are. Look at yourself, fleeing to Europe like some damned bird.” Tsukishima sounded bored.  “I don’t know why you won’t tell him. You’ve had your chance a dozen times but you screwed up.” Tsukishima sounded like a broken record to Kuroo by that point.

He and the other two always told Kuroo to make a move after all those years but he was scared.

In truth, the first day of school was the only time he’d gathered courage. He’d been following him ever since he came into the campus and he saw no other way to approach him other than ‘accidentally’ bumping into him.

Yes. How cliché.

But it worked didn’t it?

At least, it worked for a bit but as he tried and time passed, shit went downhill and well, yeah.

“I just want what’s best for Kenma.” He replied.

Tsukishima laughed boisterously, “What’s best for him? Have you even considered that maybe he’s losing himself with the fact that you just left…after what you did?”

Kuroo was stupid. He knew that.

But it’s not like Kenma cared much for him. He probably considered Kuroo as some sort of weirdo who seemed so obsessed with him despite the short amount of time they’d known each other.

Fuck.

That hurt.

“He’s probably fine now that I’m out of his life.” Kuroo shook his head and walked down the street in search of a drink, “He’s probably with his..friends.”

Now that was a touchy subject for Kuroo.

Seeing Kenma with other people was like a slap to the face. He was supposed to be the hugging him, the one making him smile, the one making him laugh until his eyes disappeared.

Not other people.

The moment he saw Kenma with that player from Seijoh, he immediately knew that he needed to make a move.

The stupidest move he’d made his entire life.

But there was no other way. He needed an excuse to get close to Kenma no matter how stupid it was.

So he used the ‘can I get your friend’s number’ stereotype. Don’t blame Kuroo for losing everything smooth about him when Kenma’s added into the equation.

Kuroo was impulsive too when it came to him. His emotions probably get heightened when it involved Kenma.

Just like that time when he saw him and that shrimp. He was so damn pissed, he was so damn jealous.

 Sure, he wanted Kenma to be happy. He wanted him to live a life without any problems.

But the fact that he was doing all that without Kuroo was too painful for him that even just the thought of it squeezes the shit out of his own heart.

“Are kidding me?” Tsukishima asked breathlessly, “Need I remind you that he’s been hanging out with us?”

“He’s-WHAT?!”  Kuroo shouted at his phone. Passersby glared at him as he looked around, sparing apologetic smiles.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you.” Tsukishima actually sounded honest, “He’s been hanging out with us, especially with Akaashi.”

Kuroo groaned and ran a hand over his face as he plopped down on the nearest outdoor café table he saw.

So his friends were with Kenma while he was out in the streets of Venice, sulking and staring at the rivers? Damn it.

“Shit. Why didn’t you tell me?” Kuroo whined and pointed at a coffee choice on the menu as the waitress approached.

“He’s miserable you know.”

Yeah right.

Like he would be.

“You’re just lying.” Kuroo denied the thought of Kenma actually missing him, “You’re saying that so I’ll go home.”

“I’m not lying you asswipe.” Tsukishima replied with a dramatic sigh, “Akaashi told me he’d been failing classes and he honestly doesn’t look healthy at all.”

Holy shit.

Kuroo ran a hand through his face for the umpteenth time. Kenma was probably sick.

It was probably just some cold that had nothing to do with the fact the Kuroo left. Nothing at all.

“Tsukishima?” A familiar voice came followed by the sound of a door closing. Holy shit. That was Akaashi.

Kuroo’s eyes widened as he heard his next words, “I know you’ve been talking to Kuroo these past months.”

Ah crap.

“Uh- yeah.” Kuroo heard Tsukishima reply. Damn it Tsukishima what the fuck are you doing?!

There was some faint shuffling and static before Akaashi’s voice became louder and clearer, “Kuroo?”

“H-heyy, ‘Kaashi. How’ve you been?” Kuroo said reluctantly, his face forming a wavering smile.

He heard a sigh from the other end, “I’m gonna ignore the fact that you left for two months without telling me and especially Kou, for now. But you really need to get home.”

Kuroo winced at the thought of his bro. He didn’t tell him he was leaving, the only thing he did was leave a note inside his drawer along with a stack of Pringles saying he’ll be out for a while.

“I don’t wanna go home, ‘Kaashi.” Kuroo sighed, “I’m probably gonna run our hotel branch here and besides, Kenma’s probably fine.”

He wanted to go home. He wanted to do so badly but he knew that if he did, he’d just be causing Kenma more harm and he didn’t want that.

“For fucks-“ Akaashi stopped himself and was breathing heavily, “Just save your drama for some other time! Kenma’s in the hospital right now.”

Kuroo held his breath.

He was in the hospital?

He immediately staggered upright, his thighs banging on the wooden table and asked, “What?! Why?!”

What could have happened to him? What could have happened to his precious Kenma?

“I don’t know exactly but he was rushed there last night.” Akaashi replied, “Kuroo, his mom said it had to do with the accident four years ago.”

And that did it for him.

He reached for his wallet and placed a wad of cash on the table before rushing down the streets.

“Akaashi, text me all the details. I’m coming home.” Kuroo pressed the end button as he went towards his parked car.

If this was about the accident then Kuroo knew it was serious.

He drove towards the airport and called the pilot, telling him to prepare the jet.

He needed to get home and he needed to do it fast.

He drove towards the strip and where he knew their family plane was waiting along with the pilot.

As he climbed into the airplane with a small nod to the pilot, he felt a sense of déjà vu. He’d been in this kind of situation before.

He sat on the chair and tapped his feet on the floor to hopefully ease his anxiety. What could have happened to him?

He opened his phone and texted his mom who didn’t even know where he was. He may or may not have bribed all the staff that were in cahoots with him escaping to not tell his parents of his whereabouts but knowing them, they probably knew where he was heading the moment he stepped out of the house.

Me: Mom, I’m coming home

He saw a new message notification and saw that it was from Akaashi. He opened it immediately,

Akaashi:  He’s unconscious in the Fukuro hospital right now. Room 015. I haven’t gone there yet but his mother texted me about it.

He looked at the time and saw that it was still 3pm in Europe.

“What time will we get back home?” Kuroo called out to the pilot.

The pilot replied through the speaker, “We’ll arrive in about 3 hours, sir.”

“Shit.” He cursed and slumped back to his seat. Why’d he even have to leave?

Three hours was too long. He needed to get home now.

He decided to busy his already whirling mind by scrolling through his phone like a madman.

He might have opened every app but stopped when he reached his camera roll.

8,000 photos

He went through the latest pictures that were mostly of Bokuto’s face and his. There were those occasional meme material pictures of Tsukki and some of Akaashi (that were taken by his too damn proud bf) looking like a damned Vogue model or something despite being candid. It was ridiculous.

Kuroo actually felt relieved as he scrolled through pictures of his friends and then some.

And just when he finally felt a peace-

Kuroo’s  thumb stilled over the screen when he reached halfway. Now they were all photos of Kenma and him.

Mostly there were pictures of Kenma asleep, sometimes when he was eating his usual apple pie with crust crumbs on his cheeks and then some selfies of him looking mostly unimpressed while Kuroo had full-blown smiles.

One picture caught his eye.

It was one that might have been accidental and that was what made it special.

He was smiling dopily at the camera while he had an arm thrown over Kenma’s shoulders. And instead of having his usual forced smile or mostly indifferent expression, Kenma was turned slightly towards Kuroo and looking at him with a small smile.

He was looking at Kuroo like he was-

No.

Damn it.

Damn it all.

He closed his phone angrily and ran a hand over his face.

He felt pathetic. He pitied himself with the way he was acting and the situation he was in.

If only he hadn’t left that night-

There he went again. Bruising himself with thoughts and what ifs that were useless. Pointless.

Because even if he thought over it, even if he regretted it- he could never bring back what he lost. He could never change what happened to him. What happened to Kenma.

He sighed and looked out of the window where he saw the entire city of Venice before him, wishing it were home. But it wasn’t.

He closed his eyes to hopefully rest his panicking heart.

He thought of Kenma and all the shit he’d caused to him. He placed his arm over his eyes, promising to himself that he’d make up for everything. He’d make up for all his mistakes and he was going to start over.

Even if Kenma couldn’t remember him and everything they’ve been through.

*****

Kuroo woke up with a jolt. He looked around and saw that he was still inside the jet. He noticed that they’d just landed with the way the jet lurched forwards, indicating the last brake.

He immediately stood up and went over to the door, opening it himself before the crew could do it for him.

He needed to get to Kenma.

He ran across the strip, approaching the car that was parked in front of the landing itself. He nodded at his driver as the door was opened for him, taking the keys himself and starting the car.

He stepped on the accelerator and drove past security. Fuck security.

He reached the hospital in record time, hurriedly parking in the first unoccupied spot he could see and getting out.

Running towards the lobby, he spotted Akaashi standing by the counter and talking to a nurse.

“Akaashi!” Kuroo shouted and bounded over to him. Akaashi turned around with wide eyes, “Kuroo? That was fast.”

Kuroo nodded and patted his back before running past him and towards the patient wards. He looked at the room numbers,

012....013…014…

He stopped in his tracks when he saw Kenma’s parents by the corridor, just outside Room 015.

“Mr. Kozume?” He asked and stepped forward. He knew he was screwed when he saw the surprise in their eyes as they turned to him which turned into pure anger, “Tetsurou!” Kenma’s mother hissed and approached him, “What are you doing here?!”

“Is Kenma alright?” He stepped forward and that was when he noticed that the window blinds of Kenma’s room was open. He looked at Kenma who was lying unmoving on the bed.

He had an oxygen tube around his nose and a IV drip beside him.

He looked so pale and thin.

Kuroo’s heart ached seeing him like that again.

He needed to-

“He’s not alright!” Kenma’s mother shrieked making Kuroo wince and turn back towards her. Kenma’s father placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder, “Calm down.” He turned to look at Kuroo, “Go home, Tetsurou.”

No. Not this again.

“No.” Kuroo said sternly, meeting his eyes, “Kenma needs me.”

Kenma’s father rubbed his temples and said through clenched teeth, “He’s in this situation because of you!”

He knew that. He knew that a lot.

And he had to live with that for the past four years.

“You think I don’t know that?” Kuroo snapped, losing his composure. He shut his eyes when he saw the surprise in their expressions and sighed, “I’m sorry. Just please, let me in.”

“We can’t, Tetsurou.” Kenma’s mother whispered and looked down, “We told you to stay away but here you are. And now look at my son-“ she looked at Kenma with tears in her eyes, “He’s suffering.”

“What happened to him?” That was the only thing Kuroo could say as he looked down.

“He’s unconscious because of exhaustion and because of his used up brain.”  Kenma’s father started slowly, “He’s been getting more memories.” Kenma’s father continued but Kenma’s mother cut him off, “We don’t need to tell him!” She hissed.

Kuroo’s eyes widened. Memories?

That means-

“Seeing you triggered them, that’s for sure.” Kenma’s father said and folded his arms over his chest.

“That means he can remember me right?!” Kuroo asked hopefully. If Kenma was getting his memories of Kuroo that meant he’d finally have something other than a miracle to hold to. Although the situation was a miracle in itself.

Kenma’s mother sighed and shook her head in deafeat, “He’ll remember you but you know the consequences right? He’ll be in pain.”

He knew how much it will hurt for Kenma and he was torn between being selfish and actually wanting what’s best for Kenma.

But somewhere from the back of his mind, a voice whispered, ‘What do you think Kenma would have wanted? Your old Kenma? If he had a choice would he take forgetting you over remembering?’

He looked at Kenma who was breathing softly, the heart monitor being the only thing signaling that he was alive.

He said the only thing that came to mind, “I don’t know.”

Kenma’s father sighed and shook his head, he opened the door beckoning for Kuroo to come in.

He went inside after taking a deep breath. He approached Kenma who still had his eyes closed.

Taking his cold hand in his, he sat on the stool beside the bed and placed said hand against his cheek, “Kenma. I miss you.”

He heard the door closing and saw that Kenma’s parents were already outside. He turned back to Kenma, staring at his face.

He’d always liked staring at Kenma.

He’d missed him so much.

He placed a brief kiss on the back of Kenma’s hand and let go.

He didn’t know what to feel at that point.

His emotions were all jumbled up like they were inside a blender going on high speed.

He stood up and sat back down beside Kenma on the bed, looking at him. Looking at every part of him that he’d missed.

Lifting his hand, he placed a hand on Kenma’s face, running it along his cheek and stroking his soft skin.

It felt like forever since he’d held him that long.

He ran his thumb over Kenma’s cold, chapped lips, his nose and his closed eyes.

All of the sudden, he felt a tear slip down his own face. Fuck.

He couldn’t help himself, he placed a kiss on Kenma’s forehead and whispered against his skin, “Wake up and remember me, kitten.”

His tears dropped on Kenma’s face, “Wake up and come back to me.”

He wanted to take everything back. He wanted to start over. He wanted to live those moments again.

The moment he first met Kenma.

*****

Kuroo Tetsuoru was nine years old when he met Kozume Kenma.

Well, met was probably an exaggeration. It was more like, seeing.

 

Kuroo Tetsurou was nine years old when he saw Kozume Kenma.

 

**Approximately 11 years ago**

_“Bro!” Bokuto screamed from behind him, “Let’s go! Pokemon will be on in ten minutes!”_

_“You go ahead!” He screamed as he fiddled with the net. He couldn’t seem to tie it properly._

_“Why don’t you just get your nanny to fix the net?” Bokuto asked and approached him with a pout, “Or you can just buy a new net. Or play in the gym.”_

_Bokuto was spoiled. Kuroo was spoiled too but he liked the idea of doing things on his own._

_“I like this net and it’s closer to the house.” He replied after sticking his tongue out at his best friend._

_They were in the common playground of the Nekoma village which was just like a normal village with the houses but had extra stuff like pools and playgrounds and some other fun stuff.._

_He and Bokuto along with their parents were in the first week of staying in two houses that summer while they studied the place’s business development or whatever._

_“Suit yourself combhead!” Bokuto said as he ran towards the street._

_“Owl-face!” Kuroo called out before turning back to the net. He managed to knot the net properly and cheered, “Yeah!”_

_He heard the sound of a car making him turn towards the driveway. He saw a small red auto parking in front of the house next to his and Bo’s._

_He frowned and whispered, “New people?”_

_He saw the door opening and tilted his head, seeing a kid hiding behind his hoodie who looked his age coming out of the backdoor and carrying what looked like a psp_

_“Come back for dinner later, honey!” There was a woman too and a man. He figured they were the boy’s parents._

_He ran behind the tree and studied the boy as he nodded at his mother’s words. Kuroo was fascinated by the way the boy seemed so fixated in his game._

_He was in a playground but he was carrying a psp?_

_The boy was closer to Kuroo now as he sat on the swing just beside the small volleyball court._

_Kuroo shifted his feet on the ground, accidentally stepping on a leaf and producing a loud crunch._

_The boy’s hoodie dropped and he turned to where Kuroo was standing._

_Kuroo swore he never saw anyone that beautiful._

_He was like those pretty anime girls in tv but better._

_He had really black hair that was cut almost like a girl and he had shiny eyes._

_Like really shiny eyes._

_He was so pretty._

_Kuroo didn’t know why but he felt scared of the boy. He turned around and ran._

_Maybe he was scared because he was so beautiful._

_He ran towards Bokuto’s house and barged inside the living room saying, “Bokuto, I saw a pretty person!”_

_“whaf-?” Bokuto turned to him with wide eyes, his mouth full of PB and J._

_“I saw a beautiful boy!” He said excitedly as he plopped beside him._

_Bokuto frowned at him and shoved more of the sandwich into his mouth, “I thot girs wa beyufiful?”_

_“But he’s a boy! And he’s beautiful!” Kuroo flapped his arms wildly to emphasize his point._

_Bokuto swallowed loudly and turned to him with a mischievous smile, “I wanna see him and make friends.”_

_“Nooo~~” Kuroo sank back down on the couch, “You can see him but we can’t make friends!”_

_He didn’t want to talk to the boy because he was scared for some reason._

_“Why?!” Bokuto tilted his head with a frown._

_“I’m scared.” Kuroo replied with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest, “He’s so pretty.”_

_Bokuto was silent for a few moments before, “PFFFT—HAHAHA. You’re scared because he’s pretty?!”_

_Kuroo threw a pillow at his best friend, his cheeks burning, “Shut up!”_

_Bokuto snorted and then replied, “Alright then. Because you’re so scared let’s just look at him from like somewhere far.”_

_And that was when Kuroo started to stalk even before he knew what the word was._

_He’d watch the boy as he and Bokuto played in the court the entire summer vacation. Well, it’s not like vacation mattered to Kuroo since he was homeschooled._

_He continued what he was doing and noticed that the boy would always sit on the same swing seat every 2pm until 5 and play his handheld game._

_He didn’t know why but he was so curious of the boy._

_He’d hide behind the bushes and look at his face as he played. Kuroo noticed that he would scrunch his nose every time he seemed to lose in whatever game he was playing and that he would look around every 5 minutes._

_“Bro.” He heard a whisper from behind. He jumped and turned to Bokuto who was crouching next to him, “You scared me!”’ He hissed quietly and glanced at the boy to see if he noticed them. Thankfully he did not._

_He turned to Bokuto who scratched his head with a frown, “You’re really weird bro.”_

_Kuroo frowned at that too, “What? Why?”_

_“You keep looking at him.” Bokuto pouted his lips and pointed them towards the boy, “You’ve been looking at him like a creep for 2 months.”_

_Creep?_

_“I’m not a creep.” Kuroo crossed his arms over his chest, “I just like watching him.”_

_“But that’s creepy!” Bokuto argued, his voice raising a bit. Kuroo shoved his hand over his mouth, “Shhh-!”_

_He felt Bokuto’s tongue swipe his hand making him pull it back with a disgusted look, “Ew bro.”_

_Bokuto stuck his tongue out and stood up, “You have to like talk to him or else you won’t be friends.”_

_Kuroo turned back to where the boy sat, “I will but I’m scared.”_

_Bokuto shrugged and turned away, “Let’s go. Auntie said she was gonna make sandwiches.”_

_Kuroo shot the boy one last look before he stood up and followed Bokuto who was already walking towards his house._

_He sat on the high-chair as they arrived inside the kitchen, swinging his legs repeatedly, “I want fish sandwich.” He said to his mom._

_Bokuto piped up, “I want PB and J!”_

_Kuroo’s mother smiled at that and turned back to what she was doing, “What have you boys been up to?”_

_“Playing volleyball!” They replied in unison. Kuroo’s mother laughed loudly at that and said, “You boys need to lighten up.” She looked at Kuroo and then Bokuto, “You know we can get a coach to teach you properly.”_

_“That’d be sooo awesome!” Bokuto sang and bounced his bum on the seat, “We’ll become Olympic players when we’re like twelve.”_

_Kuroo smacked the back of his head, “We can’t become Olympics if we’re that young idiot.”_

_Bokuto turned to him with a pout and stuck out his tongue, “You’re the idiot!”_

_“No, you are!” Kuroo countered, placing his thumb on his temple and waving, “I’m not the one who wants to become a twelve-year old Olympic player!”_

_“Says the guy who looks at pretty boys like a creep!” Bokuto said back._

_“Ohoho~~?” Kuroo’s mother suddenly spoke up, “Who’s been staring at pretty boys like a creep~~?”_

_Kuroo blushed at that looked down at the countertop._

_“Kuroo likes staring at our neighbor auntie.” Bokuto explained, “He’s been looking at him all the time this summer.”_

_Kuroo looked at his mother who wiggled her eyebrows, “Is it true, Tetsu-?”_

_“No-“ “It’s true auntie! And he doesn’t want to talk to him and make friends!”_

_Please remind Kuroo to remove Bokuto from his bestie slambook._

_“Oho? Why is that?” His mother said as she placed the sandwiches on the plate and handed them to the boys._

_Kuroo looked down and pouted, “I’m scared because he’s pretty.” He said simply._

_His mother leaned on the counter, “And by scared you mean-?”_

_Kuroo didn’t know how to explain it so he placed a hand over his chest,_

_“My heart feels all weird and beats really fast like when I’m playing volleyball.”_

_His mother clapped her hands in delight, “My dear son has a crush!”_

_“But auntie, he’s a boy-“ Bokuto started but was cut off by Kuroo’s mom as she placed a finger up, “Listen well boys. It doesn’t matter if you have a crush on a boy or a girl. They’re the same. They’re people.”_

_Kuroo had a crush on that boy from the playground?_

_But—why?_

_Kuroo was about to ask his mother something when Bokuto asked loudly,_

_“Does that mean I get to have a crush on Akaashi?!”_

_*****_

Kuroo Tetsurou was nine years old when he realized he had a crush on Kozume Kenma.

He was ten years old when he finally met him.

*****

_“You’re insane, Kuroo.” Bokuto said as he stood in front of their house all dressed up for travel._

_Kuroo on the other hand still had his nyan cat pajamas on and was waving at him mockingly, “Have a safe trip bro!”_

_Bokuto shook his head, “You can’t live here forever.”_

_Kuroo scratched the back of his head. He didn’t know why but he dreaded the feeling of having to go back home._

_Well, he might have known a bit._

_It was because of the boy from the playground._

_He won’t leave until he’d finally met him._

_“I won’t live here forever.” Kuroo stated, “I’m just gonna be here for a while. My teacher will come here next week so I won’t have a problem.”_

_Bokuto pouted and flopped the sleeves of his jacket repeatedly, “You’re gonna leave me?”_

_“You’re the one who’s leaving me.” Kuroo retorted, “You just wanna go home because you miss Akaashi.”_

_Bokuto nodded and smiled, “He’s my crush.”_

_“Uhm-“ Kuroo drawled out, raising an eyebrow. Bokuto laughed and hugged him, “I’ll see you soon bro!”_

_Kuroo snorted and wrapped his bro in a bear hug, “You’ll be like, 20 minutes away from me. Don’t be so dramatic.”_

_Kuroo bid his best friend goodbye as he went inside the car and drove off to the city proper._

_The village was in the mountain part of their region and was pretty peaceful compared to the city with the annoying car noises._

_And his parent’s were back home too, leaving him with his nannies that didn’t really seem to care about what he did as long as he didn’t die._

_It was great._

_Plus, there was that pretty boy._

_Kuroo continued with his routine._

_He studied with his tutor who gave him a schedule so he’d seem like any normal student and played volleyball with the kids of the village._

_He also found a new friend named Tsukishima Kei who he accidentally hit with a volleyball._

_He lived five houses away from his and he was so annoying and salty, but he was a friend._

_And of course, Kuroo continued watching the boy._

_The boy went to a normal school unlike Kuroo who spent so much time inside his dad’s office._

_Kuroo would watch the neighboring house from his window and stare as the boy went to school early in the morning._

_At around 4 o’clock, he’d sit on the steps of their house and wait for the black auto to arrive which carried the boy from the playground._

_He also kept communicating with Bokuto and his parents through video calls._

_He’d been there for almost 2 months and then hurray! He was turning 10!_

_He’d have this huge party with his mom and dad’s business partners and whatnot in the evening but in the morning, they’ll just celebrate with family and close friends._

_“Bokuto!” He screamed as he bounded over to his friend who just arrived._

_“Kubrooo!” Bokuto screamed too and went over to him with a huge smile, “Happy birthday!”_

_Bokuto handed the huge rectangular box with cat meme wrappers he was holding to him, “I got you like 10 volleyballs.”_

_“Woahhh~” Kuroo gaped as he shook the box excitedly, “Thanks bro.”_

_“No biggie!” Bokuto said and slung an arm over his shoulders, “I’m hungry.”_

_“Koutarou! You’re here!” Kuroo’s mom exclaimed as she went over to them, “Where’s your mom and dad?”_

_“They sent me first, auntie. Said they’re gonna be late.” Bokuto exclaimed as she hugged Kuroo’s mom._

_She pouted, “Tsk.” She then turned to the two of them, “Come on we have lots of food in the kitchen.”_

_Bokuto hooted while Kuroo just laughed. His friend was more excited about his birthday than him._

_They ate together in the kitchen along with Kuroo’s father who just arrived and suddenly his mother asked, “Tetsu? Why don’t you invite your crush over?”_

_“Crush? I haven’t heard about a crush.” Kuroo’s father sent him a small smile._

_Kuroo looked down, his face turning all warm, “He’s not my friend..yet.”_

_“He-?” Kuroo’s father looked at his mom for a bit who shot him a look. He immediately smiled and said to Kuroo, “Why don’t you make friends, huh?”_

_“Because Kuroo’s a scaredycat.” Bokuto said happily as he munched on a brownie. Kuroo stuck his tongue out, “Am not.”_

_“Are too.” Bokuto replied._

_“Tetsu, you’re ten years old now.” His father said and leaned his elbows on the table, “You should be man enough to talk to your crush.”_

_“He’s right, honey.” His mother replied and gave him  a small smile._

_“I don’t know how.” Kuroo mumbled and fiddled with his hands. Bokuto snorted and suddenly, he was towing Kuroo away from the dining table, “Come on, bro! I saw him in the playground earlier!”_

_Kuroo anchored his feet on the floor and tried to remove his best friend’s hand on his arm, “Nooo-! What if he’ll hate me!”_

_Bokuto snorted again as he dragged Kuroo outside of the house, “He won’t.”_

_Kuroo let himself be dragged until he saw Tsukishima walking down the street towards them, “Tsukki! Help!”_

_Tsukishima approached them with a bored look and said, “Don’t call me that.” He turned to Bokuto, “Wat’cha doing, Bokuto?”_

_Bokuto gave him a smile, “Sup, Tsukki. I’m dragging this scaredycat to make friends with the pretty boy in the playground.”_

_“I don’t wanna! He’s gonna hate me!” Kuroo argued as he flailed his arms wildly._

_Tsukishima just nodded and pulled out his headset, “Yeah, do that. He needs to stop the stalking business.”_

_“Traitor!”_

_They were already by the playground and were standing by the entrance. Kuroo could see the boy sitting on his usual seat with his usual game._

_His heart was beating really fast like it always did when he saw him._

_Bokuto let go of him and turned around with his hands on his hips, “Today, Kuroo. You’re gonna be a man.”_

_“A what?” Tsukishima asked incredulously._

_Kuroo looked down, “I dunno bro. How should I talk to him?”_

_Bokuto just laughed out loud, “Idiot. Talk like normal. Talk to him like how you did to Tsukki.”_

_“I can’t talk to him like how I talked to Tsukki.” Kuroo mumbled remembering the way he aggressively patted Tsukishima’s back when he apologized._

_“Why?” Bokuto frowned, crossing his arms.._

_Kuroo scratched his head, “Well, he’s my crush. Tsukki isn’t.”_

_“Gross.” He heard Tsukishima mutter from behind them, “And would you please stop calling me that?”_

_Bokuto squinted his eyes, “Alright. I’m gonna do something and you need to do what you’d usually do.”_

_“What are you gonna do?” Kuroo asked suspiciously._

_Bokuto just smiled dopily and picked up a stray ball._

_What was he going to do with such a harmful weapon?!_

_He started walking away and dribbling the ball like a basketball. He approached the boy from behind and Kuroo followed after him after mouthing, ‘what are you doing?!’_

_Bokuto gave him a thumbs up and started spiking the ball at the tree repeatedly. He backed up every time until he hit the boy’s back, toppling him over._

_Why did he do that?!_

_He shot Bokuto an angry look as he ran towards the entrance and giving him a thumbs up._

_Kuroo was going to kill Bokuto._

_But before that, he needed to help the boy._

_He ran towards him and stood in front of the boy who was on his knees. The things in his bag were all scattered on the ground so he offered, “Hey, do you need help with that?”_

_“No.”  The boy was looking up at him._

_Omg. His eyes were so beautiful. They were huge and gold. Like a cat. A really cute and pretty cat and just…_

_And he was much more beautiful up close._

_Kuroo’s heart was hammering inside his body. What was happening to him._

_He also realized that- that too was the first time Kuroo heard him speak. He had a nice voice._

_Kuroo shook his head and averted his eyes, crouching, he started picking the things up himself and sticking them inside his bag without the boy’s consent. Don’t blame him for being kind._

_He stood up after doing so and smiled at the boy who fixed him an indifferent look. Kuroo was nervous but he tried to sound really confident so he said what he heard from movies when the man talks to the pretty girl, “You from around here?”_

_He could almost hear Tsukki and Bokuto’s voices in his head, ‘You know he’s from around here! You’ve been stalking him for four months!’_

_“Yes.” The boy looked uncomfortable. Oh no._

_He tried to smile and said, “Alright.”_

_He stared at the boy who was looking back at him from behind his black hair for a few moments before doing what he needed to do._

_He held out his hand and smiled sincerely, omg he was gonna do it, “Hi, I’m Kuroo Tetsurou.”_

_The boy looked at his hand for a few moments before taking it and giving a small shake, he looked up at Kuroo again with his beautiful gold eyes and said, “Kozume……Kenma.”_


	10. Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo's memories. His past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, hey! So here I am with another late chapter which i guess is pretty long bc i really wanted to fit all of Kuroo's memories in one chapter but it was so hard to do esp if i wanna put all the details and whatnot
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> ps unedited im sorry

_Kuroo Tetsurou was 10 years old when he met Kozume Kenma._

_He was 10 years old when he felt the happiest in his entire life._

_He was 10 years old when they became friends._

_*****_

_“Kozume…Kenma.” They boy said. Kuroo felt extremely excited as he heard that._

_He smiled at the boy, no, Kenma and asked boldly, “Can I be your friend?”_

_Kenma’s eyes widened at that and he tilted his head to the side, “You want to be my friend?”_

_“That’s what I said.” Kuroo placed his hands on his hips and grinned._

_“Why?” The boy asked reluctantly, ducking behind his long dark hair._

_He’d never been asked that question before._

_“Because –“ Kuroo stopped himself. What was he supposed to say? He scratched his head and pouted, “Do you need a reason to make friends?”_

_The boy shrugged and averted his eyes, “I…don’t have friends.”_

_What? Why?_

_“That’s impossible!” Kuroo shouted, feeling really surprised. He saw that the boy was serious so he asked, “Why?”_

_“Because…” The boy shook his head and looked at Kuroo, “They say I’m weird.”_

_What-_

_“You’re not weird to me!” Kuroo pushed on. He suddenly felt an arm being dumped around his shoulders, “Kuroo’s the weird one!” It was Bokuto._

_He immediately turned to his friend with wide eyes. Bokuto laughed, “Kenma, right? Kuroo’s been looki-“_

_Kuroo automatically shoved his hand over his friend’s mouth, “Shut up!”_

_He looked back at the boy who was backing away from them. He was eyeing Bokuto and Tsukki who just came up worriedly._

_“Hey.” Kuroo called, holding out a hand, “Are you okay?”_

_Kenma shook his worriedly and darted his eyes again between the newcomers. Kuroo figured it out._

_He smacked Bokuto behind the head, “Idiot. You scared him.”_

_Bokuto rubbed his injured head, “What? Why?”_

_“At least introduce yourself.” Kuroo scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. Bokuto nodded and slowly went over to Kenma, holding out a hand he said, “I’m Bokuto Koutarou. I’m sorry for earlier.”_

_Kenma took his head briefly and nodded without a word. Tsukki came forward and just gave a tilt of his chin, “Tsukishima Kei.”_

_Kenma nodded again and turned back to Kuroo with wide eyes. He looked so much like a kitten._

_“Hey, wanna come with us?” He asked, “It’s my birthday today and we’re celebrating this morning.”_

_Kenma immediately shook his head, “I don’t wanna.”_

_Kuroo pouted at that and took his hand, “Come on, please? For your new friend?” He blinked his eyes repeatedly, receiving a disgusted snort from Tsukishima, “Plus, it’s my birthday.”_

_Kenma looked at his seat on the swing and then his eyes went back to Kuroo, staring at him reluctantly, “Okay.”_

_Kuroo whooped in joy and laced their fingers together, jogging out of the playground while he dragged Kenma by the hand towards their house._

_He looked back at the boy who had a worried expression on and smiled, “Stop worrying!”_

_“So how did it go?” He heard his mother ask from inside the kithen He grinned and stepped aside, revealing Kenma who was hiding behind his back, “Mom, meet Kenma!”_

_“Ohoho~?” His mom went over to them with a huge smile. She looked at Kenma with wide eyes, “He really is beautiful, Tetsu.” She crouched and held out a hand, “I’m Tetsurou’s mother. Nice to meet you, Kenma.”_

_Kenma took her hand slowly and mumbled, “Nice to meet you.”_

_His mother squealed, “Oh, he’s so adorable! Honey, Tetsu’s brought a new friend!” She called out to his dad._

_“Oho?” His dad asked and went over to them._

_His parents were so embarrassing._

_He smiled at Kenma, “Hello there!”_

_Kuroo didn’t know what Kenma did but he guessed he just nodded._

_Kuroo turned to look at him, “Come on, let’s eat.” He started walking  but he felt a hand wrap around the back of his shirt, he turned slowly, “What-?”_

_Kenma was looking down at the ground and then his eyes went to Kuroo.  He mumbled, “Happy birthday.”_

_*****_

_Kuroo never thought he’d meet someone who’d rival his closeness with Bokuto. But when Kenma came to his life, it proved that people really made mistakes._

_Just don’t tell Bokuto he said that._

_He’d spent all his time Kenma ever since the day he met him and he didn’t regret it even a bit._

_“Kenma!” He ran, approaching the boy as he sat on a bench near the volleyball court. He’d managed to persuade the boy into occupying a different seat other than the usual one. It was for his aesthetic._

_Kenma looked up with a frown, “What?”_

_“You’ve been spending an awful lot of time with that psp of yours!” He crossed his arms over his chest, “Play volleyball with me.”_

_“Don’t wanna.” Kenma turned back to his game._

_Kuroo just sighed, “What am I ever going to do with you?”_

_“Um, leave me alone?” Kenma replied._

_He’s getting a bit salty, Kuroo thought worriedly._

_Damn it, Tsukishima. This is your entire fault._

_He plopped down on the bench and slung an arm over his shoulders, “Nope. That won’t do at all.”_

_Kuroo took the few months he’d been friends without Kenma as an achievement because he was usually pretty downcast and from what Kuroo had noticed, he didn’t like interacting with people._

_But there he was, physically touching the boy and he didn’t budge. He needed a medal for being so persistent._

_But it’s not like he wanted to be friends with him just for the challenge of it. He just really, really wanted to be with him all the time._

_*****_

_Kuroo bounded over to Kenma, holding a volleyball, “Toss to me for a bit!”_

_In the past year, he unlocked another achievement and it was getting Kenma to play volleyball with him._

_Kuroo didn’t really know how he did it but one day when he and Bokuto were playing, the ball skidded towards Kenma and Kuroo told him to throw it._

_He kind of noticed that maybe he could toss for them. He dragged Kenma to the court and told him to do it and not surprisingly, he did it flawlessly._

_Although there was one time when he missed and the ball hit his face. Kuroo kind of freaked out when he saw the blood leaking from his nose. He even contemplated on calling an ambulance before his mother told him, ‘calm down, he’s not gonna die.’_

_Which he replied to, with, ‘how can you be sure?!’_

_But all in all, he was Kuroo’s official setter. And nobody could argue with that._

_Nope. Nadda._

_Kenma sighed and placed his game on the bench, “Fine.”_

_Woah, he was quite agreeable today. Kuroo whooped in joy and went over to the makeshift court with Kenma trailing boredly behind him._

_He gave the ball to Kenma and smiled before positioning himself by the middle._

_Kenma tossed him the ball and he did what he saw on TV. He stopped for a bit before jumping and swinging his arm, spectacularly missing the ball and hitting his head._

_“What was that?” Kenma asked with a frown._

_He turned to him with a huge smile, “A time delay attack!” He’d seen it on TV earlier and it was so cool he just needed to try it._

_“It’s an attack where the spiker acts like he’s about to jump,” He mirrored his words with his actions, “And then holds it for a bit before actually hitting it.” He turned to Kenma again, “I saw it on, TV.”_

_“Will you please stop picking things up from TV, Kuro.”_

_Kuroo smiled remembering how Kenma came to give him that nickname. Kuroo accidentally called him kitten once, which lead to him getting really flustered. He managed to pick himself up after saying, ‘It’s a nickname. You can give me a nickname too!’_

_Kenma might have stared at him weirdly before saying plainly, ‘Kuro.’_

_Apparently it was the Japanese word for the color black which Kenma thought was suitable for him and Kuroo may or may not have felt so overwhelmed that he had to sit down for a while and think over his life._

_Kuroo grinned at his best friend, “We may not be able to do it right now. But-“ He turned to the net and held out his fist for the sake of being a bit dramatic, “Once we’re older, we can use it. It will be our most magnificent move.”_

_*****_

_Kuroo met Kenma’s parents one afternoon as he sat on the steps of their house and waited for Kenma who was still at school._

_He’d begged his parents to send him to a regular school (Kenma’s school) but they wouldn’t even hear him out. They’d say he’d eventually attend one when they succeed in building a school administration themselves which Kuroo knew was already being started._

_“Kuro? What are you doing here?” He was so fixated on his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the car that pulled up and Kenma who was already standing in front of him._

_Kuroo straightened up and stood, “Hey, kitten. I was waiting for you.”_

_Kenma nodded and looked down, “Oh.”_

_“Kenma?” Kuroo heard Kenma’s mother call out from the driveway. Kuroo looked up at her as she approached them with a small smile, “Who’s this?”_

_Kenma looked up at his mom and replied, “This is Kuro.”_

_“Oh!” Kenma’s mother exclaimed and waved at him which he smiled to, “So you’re Kenma’s Kuro?”_

_Kuroo swore he saw Kenma blush, “He’s not my Kuro.”_

_“Oh, you’re the son of the Kuroos right?” Kenma’s father approached them and smiled at him._

_“Yes, sir. Kuroo Tetsurou.” Kuroo made a mock salute_

_Kenma’s father chuckled and nodded. He walked past them along with his wife towards the door, “Well, come on in Tetsurou. You can eat dinner with us.”_

_“Thank you, Mr. Kozume!” He said with a smile.  He turned to Kenma who was staring at him weirdly, so he asked, “What is it, kitten?”_

_Kenma blinked and looked away, “Nothing, come on in.”_

_Kuroo grinned at that and bounded inside. He noticed that their house were full of bright color. Bright sofas and bright paint. It looked so lively inside._

_Kenma sat on the sofa while his parents prepared dinner. Although Kuroo was standing  by the cabinets and bookshelves looking at the pictures._

_He noticed that he hadn’t seen Kenma smiling in any of them. He was about to mention it when Kenma’s mother called out, “Dinner’s ready!”_

_Kenma stood up after dropping the psp and looked at Kuroo, “Come on.”_

_Kuroo nodded and followed after him._

_They sat in a round table with Kenma beside Kuroo. Kenma suddenly stood up and went to the pantry, saying he’d get leftover apple pie. So he liked apple pie?_

_“Tetsurou.” Kenma’s father spoke, “Thank you.”_

_He turned to look at the man, “For what?”_

_“Our Kenma had always been a loner.” Kenma’s mother explained with a sad smile. She brightened up after that, “But thanks to you, he’s finally opening up to us. Even just a little bit.”_

_“It must’ve been hard trying to make friends with him since he tends to wave people off. Even us.” Kenma’s father stared at the door where Kenma disappeared into._

_Kuroo didn’t really understand that so he just smiled, “It was worth it, Mr. and Mrs. Kozume. Kenma’s one of my best friends now.”_

_He really was his best friend. Just don’t tell Bokuto that._

_Well, Bokuto had Akaashi so it was all good._

_“That’s good.” Kenma’s mother replied. Kenma went back inside the kitchen carrying a dish of pie and a huge tumbler._

_He plopped down beside Kuroo and ate what he brought out. Kuroo stared at him as he ate and couldn’t help but ask, “What’s your favorite food?” Like he said, it was probably apple pie._

_“Apple pie.” Kenma mumbled with pie crumbs on his cheeks, “And I like it with milk tea.”_

_*****_

_Kuroo was eleven when he finally learned how to play the guitar._

_Even though he knew such basic chords, he felt proud of himself._

_And there was only one person he could boast to and that was Kenma. In truth, he’d learned to play the guitar for him._

_Yeah. He wanted to play for him and hopefully see him smile. Because despite being friends for over a year, he’d never seen him smile._

_Sure, he saw and liked how his eyes brightened when he got past a level of his game, or when Kuroo told a joke but it wasn’t a smile._

_That’s why he felt so excited when he bounded over to where and waved his hand excitedly, “Kenma!”_

_The boy turned to him with a questioning look. He smiled and said, “I know how to play know!”_

_“Really? Wow.” Kenma still looked nonchalant. Kuroo nodded and went over to him, placing the guitar on his thigh and his feet on the bench, he started strumming._

_He only knew the chorus of the song he kind of thought was easy so he sang that part only, “I’m falling inlove. But it’s falling apart. I need to find my way back to the-“ His hand slipped on the next chord, producing a really broken note._

_He winced. He really needed to practice more._

_His hand went to the back of his head, rubbing it sheepishly, “I still need more practice. But I promise you- when I get good at this.” He smiled, “You’ll be the first one to hear me play an entire song.”_

_“No.” Kenma said which kinda made him feel down, “What if I’m not here when you finally learn how to play?”_

_Kuroo didn’t considere that though. He probably never would, so he pouted and said, “You’ll always be with me. Why not?”_

_Kenma just gave him that blank look that translated into, ‘don’t argue with me on this’. Kuroo sighed and said, “Alright. Then, you’ll be the first one I’ll play this song to.”_

_Kuroo didn’t really think that the song wasn’t one he’d wanted to sing to Kenma because really, he  just heard that from the TV and decided to play it because it looked easy. But he didn’t want to argue with him._

_“Alright.” Kenma replied._

_Kuroo held out his pinky, “It’s a promise.”_

_Kenma’s face brightened slightly and laced his pinky with his, “A promise.”_

_*****_

_Kuroo Tetsurou was 10 years old when he realized he had a crush on Kozume Kenma._

_He was 14 years old when he admitted it to him._

_*****_

_“It’s late, isn’t it?” Kuroo said as he walked beside Kenma towards their house. He abandoned the drivers and the daily pickups just for the sake of walking home with him every day after school._

_“Yeah.” Kenma replied as he fiddled with his phone._

_“Practice was rough.” Kuroo commented and turned to the boy beside him with a small smile, “But it was fun, right?”_

_“I guess.” Kenma spared him a glance. Kuroo nodded at that and turned back at the dimly lit road. For the past few months, he’d contemplated telling him about the feelings he’d been harboring for him for years but he was scared._

_What if Kenma thought he was a weirdo for having a crush on his best friend? What if it would end their friendship?_

_“Kuro.” Kenma’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned to his side and found that Kenma was behind him. He stepped back and said, “Yes, kitten?”_

_Kenma pocketed his phone and looked up, his eyes shining under the streetlight, “Something’s bothering you.”_

_Kuroo kind of expected those words from him but he didn’t think he’d say them as early as that. Well, Kenma was really good at reading him._

_“Nothing’s bothering me kitten.” Kuroo gave him a reassuring smile._

_Kenma just sighed and turned towards a small clearing with benches. Kuroo followed him wordlessly and asked, “Kitten?”_

_They walked towards the middle and Kenma turned back to him, “Tell me what’s bothering you.”_

_Kuroo rubbed the back of his head. What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to admit then and there and risk everything they’ve been through?_

_Or should he just keep his feelings to himself and play safe?_

_“I’m just tired, kitten.” Kuroo turned around after giving a small smile. He suddenly felt a small tug from the back of his jacket, “Wait.”_

_He faced Kenma who frowned at him, “You’re lying to me.”_

_“You know I’d never lie to you, kitten.” Kuroo lied. Ah shit._

_Kenma’s frown deepened, “You’re lying to me now.” Kenma averted his eyes, “You’re smile is fake and you’ve been getting unusually quiet.”_

_Kuroo’s heart beat loudly in his chest, making him feel really-really, nervous, “Kitten-“_

_“Kuro.” Kenma said sternly and looked back at him with sharp eyes, “Tell me, now.”_

_Kuroo could never say no to him. Even if he wanted to, every nerve inside of him kept buzzing and telling him to be honest. Every never kept telling him to man up._

_“Kenma.” Kuroo said slowly and took Kenma’s hand, “You’ll hate me for this.”_

_Kenma averted his eyes and looked at the bench before mumbling, “You know I could never hate you.”_

_That gave Kuroo a weird burst of confidence. He sighed and tightened his hand on his best friend’s, “I like you.”_

_There was a moment of silence, “I like you too.”_

_Kuroo shut his eyes and shook his head, “I mean, like-like you.” He looked at Kenma who still had an indifferent look, “I like you more than a friend should. More than a best friend should.”_

_Kenma was quiet after that so he continued, “I’ve liked you ever since I saw you in that playground. Since your hoodie dropped and you looked to my direction.”_

_His heart was getting squeezed really painfully so let go of his hand and looked down, “Come on. Get mad. Be grossed out.”_

_It was so quiet. It was quiet for five heartbeats and then he heard a snort and then a chuckle._

_He looked up with wide eyes, “What-“_

_Kenma went forward and wrapped his arms around chest. He rested his face over his heart and mumbled, “You’re an idiot.”_

_Kuroo didn’t even know what to say at that point so he just wrapped his arms around him too and placed his chin above his head._

_“I like you too, Kuro.”   Kenma mumbled._

_What_

_What did he just say?_

_Kuroo let go and stumbled backwards, “What?”_

_Kenma’s hands dropped and he looked up at him, “I like-like you.”_

_Holy schism._

_Kuroo slumped forward and placed a hand on his knees before looking up a bit, “You like me, too?”_

_“Are you deaf or something?” Kenma gave him the faintest of smiles._

_He. Smiled._

_Kuroo might have been floating past Neptune by that point because he felt weightless. He felt weird and overwhelmed._

_He felt happy._

_“Holy crap.” That was the only thing he could say as he straightened up and wrapped his arms around him again, “Kitten, you don’t know how happy I am.”_

_Kenma buried deeper into his chest and said, “I’m happy too, Kuro.”_

_Kuroo was happy knowing they had mutual feelings._

_Although they weren’t dating per say since they were young and all, but at least he knew Kenma liked him back and somehow, that was everything to him._

_*****_

_Months passed and Kuroo and Kenma stayed the same. Nothing really changed with the fact that they knew what the other felt for them._

_If anything, everything got better. Kenma was a bit more comfortable with him. He smiled more and opened up more. It was awesome._

_Kuroo thought everything was in place in his life and he had that perfect picture in his mind but that image faded in just a single night._

_He was walking towards his room, passing by his dad’s office when he heard his mom say, “We need to leave.”_

_Kuroo stopped in his tracks and stepped closer to the door that was slightly ajar._

_He heard a reply from his father, “I know. We can leave in two months once everything’s settled.”_

_There was silence after that. Kuroo frowned and mumbled, “Leave?”_

_“What about Tetsurou?” His mother’s voice came._

_They were now talking about him._

_“We can put him in a university there. He’ll fit like a glove. He’s a friendly one.” His father replied proudly._

_They’re talking about moving him to another school?_

_No! He’d never leave Kenma!_

_“Well, London seems pretty great.”_

_“I know.”_

_Kuroo barged inside and immediately shouted, “I’m not leaving!”_

_His father who sat on his table looked at him with a frown while his mother went towards him, “Tetsurou. Why don’t you sit down?”_

_“I won’t, okay?!” Kuroo stomped his feet angrily. His father rubbed his forehead exasperatedly, “Calm down, Tetsurou and listen to what we have to say.” He said and gestured on one of the chairs that were positioned in front of his desk._

_Kuroo panted and plopped down on the seat and crossing his arms over his chest, “Why are you guys thinking of moving all of the sudden?”_

_His mother sat across him with a sad smile, “We need to leave, Tetsu.”_

_“Why?” Kuroo was trying to calm himself as he clenched his fists._

_“We have enemies.” His father said simply and brought his hands together, “Our business rivals are getting restless.”_

_“So?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow, “What does that have to do with leaving?”_

_“We’ve been receiving death threats, dear.” His mother replied softly and reached out hear hand, placing it on top of Kuroo’s, “We need to be safe.”_

_Kuroo snorted sarcastically, “Since when were you guys scared of threats?”_

_His parents had lots of rivals in the business industry and his dad was a tycoon that dominated groups of different kinds and that usually led to threats. Kuroo knew that and he knew his parents were efficiently protected so he wondered why they were reacting this way._

_“They’ve been posing threats on your life.” His father said with a frown, “They’re gonna use you against us.”_

_Kuroo stilled at that. The threats never really involved him or anyone other than his parents._

_“What?” He asked softly._

_“If we don’t leave, you’re gonna get hurt.” His mother said with a grimace._

_Kuroo drew his hand back from his mother’s and stood up, “I don’t care, okay? I don’t wanna leave.”_

_“You’re gonna be a target.” Kuroo’s father said, “But that’s not the only thing we’re worried about.”_

_Kuroo frowned at that, “What?”_

_“We can very well protect our family. We can very well protect you but we can’t protect everyone.”_

_Kuroo didn’t even understand what he said. His mind was running and he was angry. He turned around and walked towards the door._

_The next words his father said made him stop dead on his tracks, “Kenma’s gonna be a target too.”_

_Kuroo hadn’t really thought of that. He wanted to keep Kenma safe but he could never leave him. He just can’t._

_“He won’t.” Kuroo replied and tilted his head towards his dad, “I’m gonna protect him.”_

_His dad let out a ridiculed laugh, “You’re just a child, Tetsurou! You can’t possibly protect him!”_

_“I will.” Kuroo said lowly, turned and left. He walked down the hallways and went outside the house._

_He went over to the parking lot where his driver usually waited. He told him to drive to Kenma’s house and when he arrived, he immediately knocked on the door, “Kenma!”_

_Moments later, the front door opened, revealing a disheveled Kenma wearing a jacket and sweatpants. He rubbed at his eyes, “Kuro? What are you doing here? It’s late.”_

_Kuroo immediately tackled him into a hug, surprising Kenma into producing a small yelp. Kuroo shut his eyes and placed his face on Kenma’s head, “I won’t leave you.”_

_Kenma pushed him away softly and met his eyes, “What are you talking about?”_

_Kuroo looked down quietly, his mouth opening and closing like some fish. Kenma nodded out of the blue and took his hand, leading him to his room._

_He’d been in Kenma’s room a lot of times so it wasn’t really something new for him._

_He let Kenma lead him inside and he went over to his bed and plopped his ass heavily on the mattress._

_Kenma sat beside him and asked, “What’s wrong?”_

_Kuroo didn’t want to tell Kenma what was really happening so he just said, “My parents want to move .”_

_The younger boy stayed silent for a few moments before he spoke, “Move?”_

_Kuroo faced him, “They want to move to London.”_

_“Oh.”_

_Kuroo decided to just tell him everything so he did. It was just a brief explanation for a brief situation but it was a heavy one._

_Kenma stayed silent the whole time he talked. Kuroo breathed the last part, “I don’t want to leave you.”_

_He felt Kenma’s hand on his and the boyy murmured as he looked at their interlaced hands and then back at him, “Don’t leave me.”_

_Kuroo turned to him with a sad smile, “But if I don’t, you might get hurt.”_

_Kenma shook his head stubbornly, “I’ll be fine. Just..don’t leave.”_

_Kuroo felt warmth spread over his chest, he tightened his hand on his and said, “I won’t. I promise.”_

_The next few weeks went by a blur. Kuroo begged his parents to stay, saying he’d never go with them. Thankfully, they agreed to it._

_As the weeks passed by, his parents sent bodyguards for both him and Kenma. It was annoying but he knew it was for their safety and caution. And Kenma wasn’t complaining at all so he was okay with it._

_As long as he was with him everything would be fine._

_Or so he thought._

_“Where are you?” Kuroo asked as he held the phone between his shoulder and his ear, trying to drive a bit slower since he’d be screwed if he got caught driving without a license._

_Kuroo wasn’t at school that day since his parents had this opening for their new business franchise and he had to attend. With that, he couldn’t walk Kenma home so he chose to pick him up instead. But knowing him, he was probably headed home now without telling him._

_“I’m walking home.” Came Kenma’s muffled reply. Kuroo cursed at that and floored the gas, choosing to just fuck it, “I told you not to walk alone this late.”_

_“I’ll be fine.” Kenma replied, “Your parents bodyguards are somewhere, I think.”_

_“You think?” Kuroo asked as he turned the corner towards the main highway where he was sure to see Kenma._

_Kenma didn’t reply at that. Kuroo saw his figure under the streetlight a bit farther._

_He was almost there when he heard a loud bang. He turned his head to the back and saw a black clothed figure running down the street._

_He was so scared but his fear for Kenma’s safety overtook everything. It overtook his overall decision._

_“Fuck!” He parked the car in front of Kenma who was standing still and staring at the figure that had a gun already poised towards them._

_He dragged Kenma to the car, forcing him to duck with him. When they entered, they heard new sounds of gunshots but they weren’t directed to them._

_Kuroo glanced at the rearview mirror and saw what looked like their bodyguards, cornering the gunman._

_That was close._

_He turned to Kenma who was looking at the road with wide eyes, his hand still clutched around his phone. He was as pale as a sheet paper._

_“Kitten.” Kuroo said as he drove, “Are you okay?”_

_Well of course, he’s not okay! He was almost shot!_

_Kenma turned to him slowly, his eyes were brimming with unshed tears and with fear. He nodded, “I’m fine.”_

_Kuroo knew he was not fine. He saw how Kenma’s hands were shaking rather violently at that point so he placed his free hand on top of his, “I’m sorry.”_

_Kenma didn’t reply after that. In fact, he just stayed silent for the whole ride towards Kuroo’s house. He couldn’t possibly bring Kenma back home to their house after what just happened._

_The gunman went after him in the middle of the street, what’s to stop the others from going to his house?_

_He parked the car silently in front of their house, seeing his parents rush out of the doors with worried expressions._

_Of course they knew._

_Kuroo got out of the car with a grimace, going around to the front seat where Kenma still sat. He’d always had the habit of opening the door for him and Kenma knew that._

_He opened the door, holding a hand out for him. Kenma just stared at him for a few minutes before taking his hand and stepping out._

_“Tetsurou! Kenma!” His mother was in front of them now. She tackled Kuroo in a hug which he immediately tore off and said, “Kenma’s the one you need to worry about.”_

_Kuroo’s mother nodded sternly, “Of course.” She turned to Kenma with a sad smile and took him by the shoulders, “Come on, Kenma. Why don’t we go inside.”_

_Kenma looked at Kuroo for a few moments before nodding and walking. Kuroo followed his figure as he went inside the house until he heard, “Tetsurou.”_

_He knew this was coming._

_He turned to his dad with a nod, “I know.”_

_His father grimaced and tilted his head and walked, telling him to follow. Kuroo fell into step and they walked back into the house together, stopping when they reached his office._

_His father went over to the window, pouring himself a drink from the table. He turned to Kuroo after taking a small sip, “You know what this means right?”_

_Kuroo clenched his fists and cast his eyes downward, “I know.”_

_He heard a loud clatter of glass against glass. He looked up and saw that his father was looking at him intensely, “I warned you.”_

_“I know.” Kuroo replied lowly._

_His father turned around and faced the huge window, looking out at the moon, “We’ll leave tomorrow.”_

_Kuroo didn’t even know what to say at that point._

_He wanted to be with Kenma but what he wanted was for him to be safer. And he wouldn’t be safe if he’s around Kuroo during the times when the rivalry was strong between his parents’ businesses._

_Kuroo wanted to be selfish and keep Kenma close to him but he knew, he fucking knew that it was not an option. He’d rather suffer than see Kenma with fear in his eyes every day. He’d rather suffer than see him live a life hiding from the unknown._

_He couldn’t live with that._

_Kuroo turned around and went outside the office. He went to the guest room that could now be called Kenma’s room and saw his mother closing the door slowly._

_Kuroo approached her as she turned to him and said, “He’s asleep.”_

_He nodded at that._

_“I’ve called his parents and informed them of what happened.” His mother said, placing a hand on his shoulder._

_Kuroo almost forgot about his parents. He frowned at the thought of them being mad at him and hating him. Of course, he’d hate him. He placed their precious son in harm’s way and that wasn’t something any parent can ignore._

_If they hated him, he hated himself more._

_Kuroo walked past his mother and opened the door of Kenma’s room, peeking inside and seeing him hidden under the blankets._

_He sighed and went inside, closing the door behind him. He plopped on the bed slowly, removing his shoes._

_There was movement from the bed and he saw Kenma peek his eyes out of the covers. Kuroo gave him a small smile, “Thought you were asleep.”_

_Kenma shook his head, “Couldn’t sleep.”_

_Kuroo grimaced and laid down beside him under the covers. Kenma immediately huddled closer to him, resting his head on his chest._

_Kuroo stroked his hair slowly, thinking to himself that it would probably be the last time he’d hold Kenma that close._

_He turned his body until he had his arms wrapped around the boy, resting his chin on the top of his head._

_It was quiet for a few moments before he heard a sniffle and then he felt something wet against the edge of his shirt._

_Kenma was crying._

_Kuroo held him tighter, placing a kiss on his forehead and whispering, “I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t leave.”_

_Kuroo’s eyes widened as he heard those words._

_He tried to look down at Kenma but the boy just buried himself deeper into his chest and mumbled, “I know you’re gonna leave because of that.”_

_“Kitten-“ Kuroo started but was cut off,_

_“Don’t leave me, Kuro.”_

_Kuroo’s heart ached and he felt his throat constrict. His eyes were burning with unshed tears._

_He knew he was gonna leave but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Kenma that. At least, not at that moment._

_He gathered his courage and tried to keep his voice leveled and continued to stroke Kenma’s hair, “Go to sleep, kitten.”_

_There was no reply after that._

_Kenma was probably thinking of what he was going to say-_

_There was a snore that cut his thoughts off. He smiled sadly at that and held him tighter._

_I’m gonna miss him so much, that was the last thought that went through his mind as he felt himself being lulled to sleep by Kenma’s breathing._

_The next morning, he woke up rather late. He looked at the wall clock and saw that it was already 1 pm. He looked down and smiled, seeing Kenma still asleep around his embrace._

_He didn’t want to leave the bed but he needed to. He gently pried off Kenma’s arms around him, taking his hands that were clenched tightly around the front of his shirt off._

_He had a single agenda that day. And that was to say goodbye to his friends._

_He’d save Kenma for last because if he didn’t know if he’d be able to speak after that._

_He went through his daily necessities, passing his father as he walked out of the house all dressed to go out._

_“Dad. Please tell Kenma to stay until I get home.” Kuroo said without looking at him. He walked past his father who just grunted._

_He drove towards Bokuto’s house where he knew Akaashi and Tsukki also were. After all, they had a band practice planned for that day, too bad he wasn’t gonna practice with them any time soon._

_“Bokuto!” He shouted as he entered the house. He went over to Bokuto’s huge room with so many volleyball and band equipments, you’d think it was some sort of garage._

_He opened the door with a loud bang, “Sup!”_

_Three heads turned towards him. Bokuto immediately stood up and tackled him in a hug, “I’m gonna miss you bro!”_

_So they knew?_

_“What are you talking about?” Kuroo asked as Bokuto stepped back, trying to sound a bit innocent albeit jokingly. Akaashi stood up after that, “Your mother told us.”_

_Kuroo was already expecting that._

_Bokuto rubbed at his already teary eyes, “Bro~~” He wailed._

_Kuroo was gonna miss his bro. Sure, he’d never been away from Kenma for years but Bokuto was different. They were best friends even before they were born._

_Kuroo laughed through the tears that were already shitting their way out of his eyes. He wrapped Akaashi and Bokuto in a huge bear hug, squeezing them, “I’m gonna miss you, lovebirds!”_

_He noticed that Tsukki was sighing loudly from Bokuto’s desk where he sat. Kuroo grinned at him and held out and arm, “Give me some love, Tsukki!”_

_“Don’t want to.” Tsukki said stubbornly and scrolled through his phone._

_“Awwww~~~” Kuroo whined. Tsukishima looked up and stared at him for a few moments before standing up and sighing, “Fine.”_

_Kuroo opened his arms wider, wrapping his arms around his idiotic friends. He was gonna miss them. All of them._

_They stayed like that for a few moments before Tsukishima tried to be the usual killjoy and tore himself away._

_Bokuto was downright crying at that point and Akaashi didn’t even bother hiding how down he was with his usual indifferent look._

_They talked for almost four hours, remembering the stuff they’ve been through as a group._

_Kuroo noticed how they all avoided talking about Kenma since they knew how it was gonna affect him. This was why he was their best friends._

_They bid goodbye by 4 o’clock, Kuroo remembering that there was one person he has yet to say goodbye to._

_He clenched his jaw as he drove back to the house, knowing Kenma was waiting for him there._

_He stepped inside and he saw Kenma running towards him, tackling him in a hug, “I thought you left.”_

_Kuroo grimaced at that. He wasn’t leaving. Not yet._

_Kuroo let out a small chuckle and stepped back, lacing his hand around Kenma’s, “Come on, kitten.”_

_“Where are we going?” Kenma asked as Kuroo led him towards the car._

_Kuroo just shook his head and opened the door for him, “We’ll be going to two different places which you’ll find out later.”_

_Kenma grumbled out his reply, “I hate this.”_

_Kuroo laughed boisterously, closing the door and going around to the driver’s seat. He pulled out of parking and drove._

_They were silent for almost 30 minutes since the drive was a bit too long for his liking. Well, Kuroo knew Kenma liked the silence so he was fine with it._

_He parked in front of the café/restaurant he’d always wanted to take Kenma to._

_“We’re in a café?” Kenma asked as he stepped out of the door. Kuroo nodded at that, “I know it’s dumb but this place has the best apple pie.”_

_Kenma turned to him slowly, his eyes brightening, “Really?”_

_“Yep.” Kuroo led him inside and they sat on the farthest and most hidden booth. The waitress came and Kuroo ordered for the both of them._

_“Why are you so silent?” Kenma asked as they waited for their orders. Kuroo snapped his eyes up, “Was I?”_

_“Yeah.” Kenma replied, averting his eyes._

_Kuroo just shrugged playfully, “Can’t a man just stay silent once in a while.”_

_“I don’t know-“ Kenma drawled out, “It’s weirding me out.”_

_“Rude!” Kuroo exclaimed dramatically. He needed to lighten the mood even just a bit._

_Their orders arrived and they ate quietly. Kuroo couldn’t help but look at Kenma as he ate, filling his cheeks up with pie._

_Kuroo laughed and brought a tissue up, wiping some tea dripping from the edge of his mouth._

_Kenma blushed at that and took the tissue himself, “Stop that.”_

_“Can’t help it.” Kuroo shrugged with a small smile._

_They finished their food and got out of the shop._

_“So, where are we heading?” Kenma asked._

_Kuroo just stared at the road. It was dark out now. He replied, “You’ll know when we get there.”_

_He drove towards the place he’d always wanted to go back to. The Nekoma village._

_“What are we doing here?” Kenma asked as they entered the gates, sounding nervous._

_Kuroo drove down houses, seeing theirs and Kenma’s old one. He parked in front of the playground that held so much memories._

_“Kuro.” Kenma said as they walked towards the middle of the volleyball court._

_Kuroo shoved his hands inside his pockets, “I’m leaving.”_

_“No you’re not.” Kenma said from behind him, his voice breaking. It broke Kuroo’s heart._

_“I can’t stay here, kitten.” Kuroo looked back at him with a sad smile, “You won’t be safe.”_

_He didn’t want to meet Kenma’s  eyes. He didn’t want to see how his eyes brimmed and spilled with tears._

_“You can!” Kenma stepped forward, his voice raising, “Please.” He begged._

_Kuroo felt the tears streaming down his face, “You won’t be safe with me. At least, not now.”_

_He would leave, he knew that. Maybe he’d be away for years or forever but as long as that rivalry was going, Kenma would be unsafe with him._

_Kenma  was silent at that and looked up at the sky. Kuroo followed what he did and said, “They’re beautiful.”_

_“Yeah.” Kenma replied from beside him. The boy suddenly faced him, wrapping his arms around him and whispering, “Don’t go.”_

_Kuroo’s tears were flowing freely. He didn’t want to go but he needed to._

_He kissed his forehead, “I’m sorry.”_

_“You’re not sorry.” Kenma whimpered. Kuroo hated it, he hated hearing him like that._

_Kuroo couldn’t even say anything else other than, “I’m so sorry, kitten.”_

_Kenma stepped back and stomped his feet, “You’re not sorry! If you were, you wouldn’t  leave me!” He was banging his fists on Kuroo’s chest but the pain didn’t compare to what he felt. It didn’t compare to the pain his heart felt as he was being torn inside._

_He wrapped his arms tightly around Kenma, “Kitten, calm down.”_

_He stayed like that before saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll come back.” He tore himself off of Kenma and bringing a hand up to stroke his face._

_He said the words he’d always wanted to say._

_The words he’d always thought would be said in a special and happy occasion, not the nightmare he was facing right now._

_“I love you.”_

_He saw how Kenma’s eyes widen with his words before he nodded._

_Kuroo didn’t know what to feel with the fact that Kenma didn’t say the words back to him._

_He just smiled sadly and turned away, his heart hammering in his chest. He’d leave Kenma to the care of the driver who’d been following them. He’d drive him home while Kuroo drove to the airport with his dad who waited by the street in their car._

_He was walking but he felt a pair of arms wrap around his torso, “I love you too.” Kenma said._

_Kuroo’s eyes widened. He said it back._

_He said it back._

_He couldn’t bring himself to face him so he just said something he didn’t even think through, “I know.”_

_He didn’t know. He didn’t know._

_But it was too late now._

_He felt Kenma let go so he walked. He walked without turning back._

_Every step felt like an invisible string in his heart being pulled tightly, painfully._

_Every step was a strain._

_He went inside the car and heard his father say as he stared at the street blankly, “This is the right thing to do.”_

_Kuroo thought it was._

_Every logical part of him thought that it was the best for Kenma. For him._

_But why was his heart telling him to stay? Why was it going against every part of his mind?_

_Why was it telling him that no, you’re not doing the right thing._

_You’re not doing what’s best for Kenma._

_You’re not doing what’s best for the person you just admitted you loved._


	11. Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for this i know it kinda sucks i cant even begin to explain myself  
> there are no words  
> but i still hope you enjoy it!  
> thanks for all the kind words  
> i love you guysss :*

“Tetsurou?” Kuroo woke to a familiar voice and incessant shaking.

He looked up, rubbing his eyes and seeing his mother staring down at him. He turned his head and realized he’d fallen asleep on Kenma’s bedside.

Kenma himself was still unconscious.

“How long have you been here?” His mother asked as she went over the nightstand, placing a basket of what looked like fruits and chocolates.

“I don’t know.” Kuroo said as he looked at the wall clock, seeing that it was already 10pm. He then moved his eyes again to where Kenma was laying, his breathing still slow.

“I’m surprised they let you in.” His mom placed a hand on his shoulder as she said that. Kuroo just shook his head, knowing what she meant, “I guess they didn’t have the choice.”

“Maybe.” She replied as she sat across him, “But they blame us, you know that.”

“Well, it is our fault.” He said as he placed a hand on Kenma’s fingers, lacing them together, “ _My_ fault to be exact.”

His mother sighed and shook her head, “We’re done with this, Tetsurou. The past is the past.”

Kuroo’s mother always told him how the past was the past and it wasn’t to be dwelled on but in his situation, the past was what he really needed. He needed Kenma to remember, he needed him to dwell on his past. Their past.

“I know what you’re thinking.” His mother said sternly, making him look up with a frown. She shook her head, “I know you want Kenma to remember you but I don’t think that’s possible. You shouldn’t get your hopes up and you know that.”

Kuroo shut his eyes and rubbed his eyes, “Mom, I don’t wanna hear-“

“I’ve always liked Kenma for you.” What? Kuroo looked at his mom with wide eyes as she stared sadly at Kenma’s form, “I liked him as a person too. He was the mystery behind your openness. He was your opposite.”

Holy shit. That was deep.

“And he could rein you in better than me and your dad can I ever do.” His mother threw her head back and laughed boisterously, “It was hilarious seeing you cower with just a single stare.” Ah there went the moment.

Kuroo didn’t know what to say at that point. He was tired both physically and mentally. Especially emotionally.

“I’m not saying you should give up. That would be a coward’s way out.” His mother continued with a serious tone as she smiled at Kenma, “We Kuroo’s don’t roll like that.”

Kuroo almost found that hilarious but somehow it didn’t even make his face twitch even the least. Something sure was wrong with him.

His mother looked up at him with sharp eyes, “You should start over. Forget the past.”

That was impossible. Kuroo could never rebuild what he had with Kenma especially now that he probably hated him after leaving.

“I could never do that mom-“ Kuroo cut himself off and cracked his knuckles, “At least, I don’t want to.”

“Sacrifice.” She said simply before smiling at him meaningfully, “You love Kenma right?  
 Kuroo nodded furiously. He loved Kenma so much.

“Then what better way to show that love than by sacrificing your own emotions and building anew?”

“Mom-“ Kuroo started. His mother stood up and walked, sitting on the bed in front of him, just beside Kenma.

“You’ve already sacrificed a lot for him. You even left the country a couple of times to keep him safe but where are you now? You’re still prancing around trying to find the right moment but the thing is son-“

She placed a hand on his shoulder, “We make our own moments. Our own chances.”

 She patted him lightly before standing up and walking to the door, “Start over. Build from the ground up. Create new memories that both of you can recall and if by any chance he remembers,” She gripped the door knob before turning to him with a smile, “Then treasure that second chance that _you_ created. That chance that _you_ \- yourself, made.”

Kuroo was speechless as he stared at his mother’s back from the window.

She made it sound so simple. But in reality it wasn’t..or maybe it was.

He’d always wanted the easy way out, the way wherein Kenma would remember him and everything would go back to normal but now he realized that maybe that really wasn’t his fate. Maybe, it wasn’t how it would go for him.

But he knew, he fucking knew that- that was what he wanted. He wanted Kenma to come back to him the way he was but his mother’s words shone a small light on his already darkening mind.

He loved Kenma.

He loved Kenma for who he was and maybe their memories were a part of that but he knew it wasn’t everything. Kenma himself is the only one that matters to him and if he couldn’t get back what he had, then he’d make something else.

Like his mother said, he’d start anew.

*****

“Bro?” Kuroo said as he knocked on the familiar door. He was already prepared for the onslaught of words he was gonna get.

The door opened widely, revealing Bokuto and Akaashi looking really disheveled which could only mean-. Ah shit.

“Um-“ Kuroo said awkwardly and glanced a bit downwards, shifting from foot to foot. He looked up again and-

“You fucking asshole!” He heard Bokuto say before feeling his bro’s fist connecting with his jaw. He reeled back, bringing a hand up to his injured face, “I guess I deserved that.”

“Hell yeah you did!” Bokuto screamed furiously before wrapping him in a tight hug and sniffling, “I missed you bro.”

Kuroo sighed in relief, patting Bokuto’s back with one hand, “I missed you too, bro.”

Akaashi cleared his throat from behind them, effectively breaking their hug. Kuroo looked at him with a sheepish smile, “I’m sorry.”

Akaashi waved his hand dismissively, “I understand.”

“I don’t.”

Kuroo looked at Bokuto who was pouting and crossing his arms, “You’re a coward.”

Kuroo knew he was a coward. He knew it more than anyone else.

“I know.” Kuroo replied, pushing past him and sitting on the bed with a huge plop. He ran a hand through his hair, “I’m so messed up right now.”

Bokuto went over to his table, taking a single chair and offering it to Akaashi. He then plopped down on the beanbag, staring up at Kuroo with a frown, “So, what’s the deal?”

“Kenma’s still unconscious.” Kuroo replied, fiddling with his hands, “The doctor said he’ll probably wake up tomorrow or even tonight.” He felt relieved when he heard that but at the same time he was scared. That was why he immediately fled the hospital.

He didn’t know how he could possibly face Kenma after what he did, even if Kenma didn’t care much of it.

“So? Are you gonna do something?” Tsukishima came strolling inside the room with his usual blank look, plopping down on a swivel chair beside Akaashi.

“I think..” Kuroo cut himself off, rubbing the space between his eyes before looking up and staring at the open door, “I’m gonna make a move.”

“Well it’s about damn time.” Bokuto said leaning back at the bag and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Technically, he’s been making some moves.” Akaashi commented. Kuroo tilted his head towards him as he looked at Bokuto.

“Some pretty lame moves.” Tsukishima replied as he brought out his phone.

“Even I could do better than all he’s done.” Bokuto said, wiggling his eyes, “Aye, Akaashi?”

Okay.

“Will you please stop talking like I’m not here?” Kuroo said irritatedly, glaring at the three of them. Bokuto shrugged, “Well you weren’t here the past two months.”

Ouch.

“That stung.” Kuroo replied, placing a hand over his heart. Akaashi snorted, “Well, you leaving stung us too so I think it’s a fair game.”

These people were in on it for the kill.

“Jeez.” Kuroo rubbed the back of his head, “Can we just get back to the important details?”

To the important person.

Bokuto scoffed and then nodded, “So, what’s the plan.”

Kuroo pressed his lips together at that. What was the plan?

“You _do_ have a plan right?” Akaashi asked slowly, “Or are you just gonna go barreling into the situation without thinking?”

Bokuto wheezed, “Yeah-“

“You’re like that too.” Akaashi deadpanned, glancing at his boyfriend’s direction briefly. Bokuto pouted at that, “Rude.”

Kuroo shook his head hopelessly, “I’ll move on. I’ll make new..memories, with him.”

He mentally prepared himself for teases and taunts he was gonna get for saying such dramatic words but what he didn’t expect was for the three of them to lean forward with interested looks.

“You’re gonna give everything up?” Bokuto asked incredulously, “Everything you’ve been through?”

“If that’s what it takes to bring him back then I’ll do it.” Kuroo replied, breathing heavily. There was a lengthy pause before Tsukishima spoke, “Why don’t you just tell him?”

Kuroo sighed, “You know I can’t do that. It won’t change anything. He still won’t remember.”

Even if he did tell Kenma, he will never know how the boy will react. For all he knew, he’d probably feel pity for Kuroo and he didn’t want that.

“Maybe he won’t but you shouldn’t keep him in the dark.” Tsukishima stated without looking up from his phone, “If he found out, which I know will happen eventually- he’ll hate you.”

Kuroo never really thought about that. All he paid attention to was what could bring Kenma back to him without even realizing all the little things that were surely gonna get in the way.

“So what do you think he should do?” Bokuto asked, tilting his head to the side, making him look too much like an owl.

“Tell him, duh.” Tsukishima said. Stingy.

“He’ll probably hate me and he’ll probably pity me.” Kuroo took a deap breath before continuing,” What if he’ll just take to me just because he feels bad for not remembering-“ Kuroo was rambling now, he just couldn’t help himself.

“He won’t.” It was Akaashi who spoke this time, “If these past months were something to go by, I’m sure Kenma’s already taken to you.”

“Yeah right.” Kuroo replied sarcastically. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, “I’m pretty sure that’s not true.”

Akaashi frowned at that, “You say that because you weren’t here. You didn’t see how tired he was, how he looked for you.”

Kuroo wanted to argue but was cut off by Akaashi raising his hand up in a shut the fuck I’m still talking motion, “You weren’t there to notice how affected he was. You weren’t there to see how he suffered.” Akaashi stared directly at him, “You chose not to be there.”

That was a short statement but it dealt the blow.

“I’m a fucking idiot.” Kuroo said, his throat constricting painfully. He wanted to cry. He wanted to just cry out all that he felt and hopefully everything would be fine. But he knew it didn’t work that way.

“You are.” Tsukishima confirmed, “But you can change that. You can make it up to him.”

I want to know how, Kuroo thought, I need to know how he could make it up to Kenma.

“Tell me how.” Kuroo whimpered out, bowing his head like the pathetic person he was. His friends probably felt bad for him right about now but he didn’t care. He just didn’t know what to do.

“If he doesn’t remember, then tell him everything you recall.” Akaashi supplied, “He doesn’t need to remember. He just needs to know and you’re the only one who can make that possible.”

“But what if-“ Kuroo couldn’t help but feel a bit pessimistic. His life has been so full of bullshit that he expected everything else to be bullshit too or at least, along the lines.

“Save the damned what ifs for later, bro.” Bokuto gave him a reassuring smile, “Sometimes we gotta do things that sound reckless even though they’re not.” He made a point of shooting a small glance at Akaashi, making the raven roll his eyes, “Well, he’s right with this one.”

Kuroo finally knew what to do.

He’d made everything so complicated when in truth, it was that simple.

He just needed to take a risk.

He’d tell Kenma everything. He’d tell him what he remembered; the moments that were burned into his heart and mind.

He’d make his chance, his moment. And he’s gonna do it without any regrets.

He slowly formed a plan on how he was going to start everything and then it struck him.

Kuroo snapped his head up, looking at his friends with a small smile, “I know what to do.”

“Don’t make it sound like some sort of mission.” Tsukishima said with a shake of his head.

“Well it sort of is.” Akaashi shrugged making Bokuto laugh out loud before gesturing with dramatically with a hand, “Pray tell, bro.”

“I know where to start.” Kuroo said with a firm nod and then looking at each of his friends, “And I’m gonna need your help.”

*****

 _“He’s awake.”_ Kuroo sighed in relief as he heard his mother’s words.

Finally, he was conscious. Kuroo wanted to go see him for himself and he wanted to talk to him but he knew it was out of the question. And he was still scared despite his so-called confidence.

So now he was going down the informative route.

“Is he okay?” Kuroo asked worriedly, “How is he?”

 _“Kozume said he was fine.”_ His mother replied, _“Just exhausted. He’s probably gonna be discharged tomorrow or the next day.”_

Kuroo felt so relieved. Kenma was fine. His kitten was fine now.

He was gonna be discharged soon and Kuroo knew that- that was the time for him to make a move.

 _“He still doesn’t know you’re back yet.”_ His mother spoke again.

“It needs to stay that way.” Kuroo replied. He didn’t want Kenma to know he was there and he’d probably get more furious if he knew Kuroo was back and didn’t make a move of talking to him. Probably.

 One could only hope to be that valuable to someone.

 _“The Kozumes probably told him already.”_ His mother said with a sigh.

Kuroo knew they wouldn’t do that. They were keen on making Kuroo stay away from their son despite the pity they felt and he doubted that would change any time soon.

“I’m sure they haven’t.” Kuroo replied, massaging his temples.

 _“I guess you’re right.”_ His mother said, “ _Well, alright then. Do what you need to do and make sure it’s worth the wait.”_

Kuroo knew that his mother was referring to the years he’d been away from Kenma because despite his father’s protests, his mother supported him with his want to be with Kenma. She pushed him on despite his cowardice and that meant a lot to Kuroo.

“I know, mom.” Kuroo couldn’t help the smile that crept to his face.

_“Good. I love you, Tetsurou.”_

“I love you too.” Kuroo replied, hearing the familiar beat of an ended call. He looked at his phone for a few seconds before hearing a voice call out, “Bro! He’s awake!”

Kuroo looked up as Bokuto plopped down on the couch with him. They were in Akaashi’s house as of the moment, having been invited by his parents who were celebrating the success of their new artists.

To sum it all up, Akaashi’s parents owned a world-famous recording group. They’ve recently been taking in several artists that have been dominating the show business. From British boy bands to solo rock artists.

And not only that, their family had several hotel chains which meant Akaashi was a pretty rich one too but Kuroo knew he didn’t like flaunting it.

Unlike him and Bokuto who were pretty in on the status thing. Well, it wasn’t like Kuroo did everything on purpose. He somehow just got..noticed, for some reason.

“I know he’s awake.” Kuroo replied, sinking down on the cushions. “I want to go see him so bad but at the same time I’m still kind of scared.”

“Pfft.” Bokuto made a face as he tore through a burger, munching loudly before swallowing and saying, “Grow some balls bro.”

“I have balls bro, I just haven’t..relocated them.” Kuroo said, squinting his eyes as Bokuto offered him another burger.

“Well, let’s just hope you relocate them in time.” Bokuto said, looking at the TV, “The plan’s gonna be set to motion in like a day or two.”

“Don’t make it sound like we’re about to commit a felony, bro.” Kuroo said sighing.

“ _You’re_ gonna be committing a felony.” Bokuto punched his arm lightly, “You’re gonna break into Kenma’s heart. Aaand hopefully, you stay there for good.”

“You’re so dramatic bro.” Kuroo snorted, smacking Bokuto’s head lightly.

“And so are you.” Bokuto replied, sticking his tongue out after rubbing his injured head.

“You’re right.” Kuroo turned to look at the TV, smiling to himself before saying, “So am I.”

*****

It was loud.

It was too loud.

The world was spinning and his ears were ringing.

It was too loud.

Kenma couldn’t explain it but he felt awake. He could feel his body, his fingers and his toes. He moved his finger slowly, producing what he expected to be a small twitch.

“Ken-chan?” A familiar voice asked. It was Tooru. Why was Tooru there? Where was ‘there’?

Kenma clenched his eyelids before opening them slowly. It was too bright. It made his head ring with pain and his eyes shut again almost immediately.

“Kenma?” It was Shouyou this time. Kenma opened his eyes again, blinking to adjust with the brightness. He took in his surroundings, realizing that he looked like he was in the hospital.

No.

He tried to sit up but failed because of the sudden pain that shot up his head.

“Hey.” Tooru said soothingly, guiding him back down, “Take it slow.”

“Kenma!” Shouyou was shoving his face in front of Tooru’s, sporting a worried expression as he offered him a glass of water, “Are you okay?! You don’t look okay!”

“I’m fine, Shouyou.” Kenma said after taking a huge gulp of water, feeling the dryness of his throat wash away and giving it back to Shouyou.

He sat up slowly this time, rubbing his head and looking around, “How long have I been here?”

“About 3 days.” Tooru replied, sitting beside him, “You made us worry so much.”

“I’m sorry.” Kenma didn’t really know what happened. All he knew was he got so many dreams. Dreams  with that single person always present.

He stared at Tooru for a while before remembering, “How are you?”

Tooru’s eyes widened before he smiled forcefully, “Why are you asking me that? You were the one who went unconscious for three days.”

“You know what I mean.” Kenma said plainly, giving Tooru a meaningful look.

“I’ve seen better days.” Tooru ran a hand through his hair and gave a fake smile, “Iwa-chan’s gone.”

Kenma nodded. He didn’t know what to say although he wanted to give off some words of wisdom but his mind was still whirling and he felt tired.

He felt as though he’d been running a 10 km marathon despite just coming out of unconsciousness.

“Kenma! Dear!” There was wailing from the door and Kenma turned to look at his mom who was bounding towards him with tear-brimmed eyes, “You’re awake!”

Kenma was prepared for the crushing hug his mom gave him so he just nodded and gave a small smile, “Yeah.”

“Dear, you’re crushing him.” His father’s voice came from behind his mother. She let go with a smile, holding his shoulders, “I’m glad you’re okay now.”

Kenma nodded at that and moved his eyes to his father who gave him a warm smile as he approached and took Tooru’s place from earlier, “You scared us there.”

“I’m sorry.” Kenma replied. Well, it’s not like it was his choice. He frowned when he remembered what happened and how much pain he was in.

And not only that, Kuroo was a constant in his dreams too. Kenma would dream of him playing a guitar alone with no sound. He would see him in flashes with smiles and all.

His dreams consisted of that person and Kuroo. Only the two of them.

It was infuriating when he thought about it and it made no sense whatsoever.

Whoever that person was, he probably was part of Kenma’s past and his memories of him were trying to come back.

And Kuroo…

There was only thing he could think of that would give even the slightest sense to it all but it was much too impossible.

He didn’t even want to consider it because he knew, it was just a coincidence. There was no connection although everything made it seem that it did.

And he was mad. He was mad at Kuroo for leaving him after what he did. He denied his anger the past few months but deep down, despite all that longing, he was furious.

Which reminded him, “Is he back?” He asked Shouyou as his parents walked out of the room to get the doctor. He just couldn’t help himself. He still wanted to know.

Shouyou turned to him with a raised a eyebrow, “He-?”

Kenma just stared at him for a few moments before he finally understood, “You mean that asshole?”

Nodding, Kenma clenched his fists around the sheet, waiting for the answer he was sure to get.

“I don’t know. I asked Lev and Yaku yesterday but they haven’t heard of him these past few days.” Shouyou replied with a slight frown.

Kenma sighed. He didn’t know what he expected.

“You should just get over that guy.” Tooru said, crossing his arms over his chest, “If what he did was something to go by, then he is clearly an asshole.”

Both Kenma and Shouyou stared at him for a few seconds, making him sigh in defeat, “He’s an asshole like Iwa-ch—like Iwaizumi.”

Kenma will tell Tooru, just not now.

“I know.” Kenma replied.

He couldn’t help but think of his own situation and the shit he was in.

He knew Kuroo wasn’t supposed to affect him that much. Heck, he didn’t even know the guy that good and yet, he was so down. He was so influenced by a single person’s actions and it bothered him.

Why was he so relevant to Kenma? Why was he so damn significant?

Is this what people call love?

Did he love Kuroo despite knowing him for less than 5 months?

Was it really love?

If so, why did it hurt so much?

“You should just get on with your life.” Shouyou said, leaning back on the chair and extending his legs, “Both of you.”

“Easy for you to say. You have Tobio-chan.” Tooru said bitterly, his face contorting weirdly.

“Well, what do you want me to say?” Shouyou asked with a small frown, “You want me to tell you guys to keep holding on even though you’re both getting hurt?”

There was silence after that before Kenma spoke out what was running through his mind ever since Shouyou talked about moving on, “To think this day would come.” Shouyou turned to him with a questioning tilt of his head, “What?”

“You’re lecturing us now.” Kenma said as he laid back on the covers after feeling another rush of pain, “Not the other way around.”

“Well, it’s the pizza of life.” Shouyou replied proudly.

Tooru snorted, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I think he meant the circle of life.” Kenma supplied with a slight tilt of his lips.

“I knew that!” Shouyou said stubbornly.

“Sure you did.” Kenma replied sarcastically as he brought the covers up his body, “I’m gonna go to sleep.” He said and closed his eyes, feeling the exhaustion envelop his entire body and the sterile scent of the hospital sending him to sleep.

*****

“This is really stupid.” Tsukishima said from the front passenger seat of Kuroo’s car.

“No it isn’t.” Kuroo replied, squinting his eyes at the lot. They were currently parked by the secluded side of the hospital, behind the rows of palm trees.

“Uh, it is.” Akaashi said from the back, “What do kids call it these days? Oh yeah, stalking.”

Kuroo shook his head, fighting the smile that was creeping to his face, “Just back me up on this guys.”

“Yeah, we- _I_ have been backing you up with these things for like, 10 years.” Bokuto sounded annoyed now, “People really never change.”

Kuroo chuckled at that. Maybe it was weird and creepy.

To put it all out there, Kuroo begged his friends to accompany him as he watched Kenma from afar after being discharged from.

Kuroo just wanted to see him so bad and he’d managed to drag his friends with him in such a dangerous exploit.

“Guys.” Kuroo couldn’t help but sound dramatic, “I just want to see him again, okay?”

There was a chorus of sighs before Akaashi spoke, “What choice do we have? We’re all here.”

“Damn right.” Kuroo said as he adjusted his sunglasses, keeping his eye on the door where he was sure Kenma would come waltzing out of in a few moments.

“So is he out yet?” Bokuto was now leaning between the front seats, “How long are we gonna wait?”

“Patience is a virtue bro.” Kuroo said as he tapped his finger on the steering wheel, taking off his sunglasses that were honestly just for show.

And that was when he saw the redhead shrimp bounding out of the door with a huge smile on his face, he was followed by the tall brunette named Oiwa? Iwaoi? What was his name again?

Kuroo then saw the person he’d been waiting for.

He watched as Kenma squinted at the sun, bringing his hand up to cover his face and his nose scrunching up like the way it usually did when he was annoyed.

“There he is, bro.” Bokuto whispered dramatically as he whispered to Kuroo’s ear, “ _Oh, woe! My fair maiden has come out of her chambers! I gaze upon her so far out! What ever shall I do? Shall I bid her my adieu?”_

“Bro. Fuck. Off.” Kuroo said, without taking his eyes off of Kenma. He didn’t want to deal with Bokuto at all.

He continued to stare at Kenma as he talked to he walked towards the other end of the lot where his father waited inside their red auto.

Kuroo couldn’t help but feel a bit nostalgic.

He used to watch Kenma like this when he was younger.

He also couldn’t help remembering himself doing the same thing before.

He  remembered the day when Kenma came out of that same hospital, from that same door. He remembered the day he watched as he walked into that same red auto with that same pout.

Kuroo didn’t want to have more memories of watching Kenma from afar.

So he promised himself that from then on out, he’d try to always be beside Kenma.

He promised to himself that from that day forward, he’d stop watching the person he loved from a distance.


	12. NOT AN UPDATE BUT A HUGE APOLOGY BUT I WILL UPDATE IN A FEW DAYS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will be back

So i literally kind of dropped out of ao3 for a while and by a while i mean for a couple of years i guess?? I mean i keep checking my account and the comments on this story and ifeel so sad and so horrible and i wanted to update but i was just really really busy in senior year and had so much to do. I know i was an irresponsible writer and i still am and ive disappointed my readers but i will make it tup to youu. I will promise to try and update regularly from now on as long as it doesnt conflict with my stuff for school.

To everyone who read and loved my story I'm sorrrryyy for this really long hiatus but I will be back in a few days.

I love y'all!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVEEE LIKE SOOOOO SOOOOO MUCHHHHHHH


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